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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a book as a gift?

32 replies

SomethingOriginal2 · 08/01/2023 12:55

Is a book a good gift or is it too personal? I like reading but it takes a good specif8c genre book to hold my interest so if someone bought me a book it's probable I won't like it. SIL is an avid reader so I don't think she has specific tastes. But can you just buy someone a book you think is good? Am I thinking too much into this?

OP posts:
TotallyAverage · 08/01/2023 12:58

I think if you genuinely believe the recipient will like it, that's fine. If you are trying to force your own likes onto someone else, probably less fine.

You could give it with a gift receipt, or just a voucher for Waterstones.

A book generally as a gift is absolutely ok though, I think? Especially if you know they like reading. I like receiving books because it's sometimes things I wouldn't necessarily have chosen but I end up enjoying.

Lifeisgood1 · 08/01/2023 13:02

One of my favourite every gifts was when my sister got me a selection of books from the charity shop. Introduced me to new authors and books I never would have picked up

LordEmsworth · 08/01/2023 13:02

Oh my goodness. I love a book as a gift, how could you possibly be unreasonable...

The only thing is, if you don't know what they already have - it may be a duplicate. I don't think it's a bad thing to get something outside what I'd normally choose, and especially a "I loved this so I am giving you a copy". But it does help to have an idea of their tastes...

TimeForMeToF1y · 08/01/2023 13:03

Books as gifts totally normal but always hard to know if the person will enjoy it or has already read it

I read a lot but like certain genres, I would feel bad if someone bought me a book that I'd never read

I assume book tokens are still a thing, no doubt called something else now

Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 08/01/2023 13:04

I come from a family who only buy books as gifts so totally normal here! Generally stick to new prints in their interests so that I don't double anything

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 08/01/2023 13:06

I'd get her a book token. Then she can have the pleasure of browsing for a book. I love a good browse in a bookshop.

Peridot1 · 08/01/2023 13:07

I love getting books as gifts. Yes there is a risk I’ve read it before but not if it’s a really recent release. I’ve read books I wouldn’t normally have chosen as they have been gifts.

DS is 21 and buys DH and I books every Christmas and me for my birthday. I love it.

Everley · 08/01/2023 13:10

I love receiving books as gifts because I never buy them for myself. A friend once bought me a book subscription which felt like such a special treat. I think it was from Willoughby Book Club. The books they sent were great and not things I would have normally picked for myself. I’d also love a book token as a gift.

Dahlietta · 08/01/2023 13:11

Do you live local to each other? Our local bookshop will always swap a book that was bought as a gift.

Gilead · 08/01/2023 13:16

I got eight books for Christmas, couldn’t be happier!

BarbaraofSeville · 08/01/2023 13:24

Buy a voucher, not a book. How would you know what she has read? Plus does she read paper books, or does she have a kindle?

I'm an avid reader, but I'm unlikely to be pleased by a book as a gift because I read 100% on Kindle and I have hundreds of unread books because I get them all at 99p. However, I do like 'coffee table' type books and cookbooks, so would be able to spend a voucher in a bookshop.

Starlitexpress · 08/01/2023 13:25

God, I love the idea of getting a stack of charity shop books, definitely nicking that idea for a present!

I love books as presents, if you don't know what authors they like, what about a vintage one on their hobby, got a beautiful one on sewing one year, looks good on the shelf if nothing else.

Smoom · 08/01/2023 13:33

I love to read. I read 2-3 books a week. But I want to pick them out myself, since I have a very particular taste in genre/ language.

If you do give a book, please keep the receipt, and let the receiver know you won’t be offended if they want to exchange it.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 08/01/2023 13:37

The main problem is that, if you buy something to suit the person's known tastes, they might already have it; if you buy something you're confident they wouldn't have read, they might not like it.

I find it embarrassing being given a book I don't enjoy, as I then feel obliged to read it in case I am asked about it.

You could try scoping out your choice in casual conversation - 'Have you read the latest by XXXXX' or whatever.

caringcarer · 08/01/2023 13:39

Better to give a book voucher. You won't know which books they have already read.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 08/01/2023 13:43

Im a prolific reader...

Ibhabe wide tastes BUT have often been given books that i won't read...

you run the risk of right choice but its a duplicate

Or something she'll never read.

Ask for a list of desired titles

Or

Voucher

DelurkingAJ · 08/01/2023 13:45

I’m always delighted to get a book as a present. Gift receipt solves the problem of whether it’s one they’ve already got, no?

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 08/01/2023 13:53

Usually I give books as a non-occasion-related zero-pressure secondhand gift, like a book I've just read and loved and thought my friend might like to try, or we've been having a conversation and it makes me think that a person might like to read a book I already have on my shelves. Same kind of vibe as lending, but I give it to them, it's theirs to keep or get rid of as they prefer. (Or they could give it back to me if they wanted.) Otherwise, if it's something I'm buying specifically for an occasion, it's generally something off the person's wishlist, the new hardback by an author I know they follow, or something very niche that I know they won't already have but which aligns with their interests.

But if you really like a book, it's the kind of thing you think the recipient will like, and you're pretty sure they don't already have it, I don't see any good reason not to buy it as a gift. Though I'd try to avoid bringing it up later unless they did, in case they didn't get on with it but didn't want to either force themselves through it, hurt your feelings, or lie about finishing it.

Original poster
SomethingOriginal2 · 08/01/2023 14:05

Thanks guys! I think because we're so different people I can't imagine her liking the same books as me but I was thinking a new print that she's unlikely to have read before. She doesn't use a kindle, she likes books with book smells and stuff. I could do a first edition of an old book she likes.
A voucher feels like a cop out. Like I could just give her money.

OP posts:
StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 08/01/2023 14:08

Though I'd try to avoid bringing it up later unless they did, in case they didn't get on with it

Agree,

I'm an enthusiastic reader and happy to be given books as gifts. If I don't chime with it within the first few pages though I won't feel duty bound to continue reading just because it was a gift. I do have a friend who'd check up with a 'did you read that book I gave you yet?' and it can be annoying.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 08/01/2023 14:20

Fiction can be tricky unless you know/don't know what genres they enjoy. And if you know what they enjoy.... do you know what they've got?

Recent non-fiction tends to work well.

Hidingawaytoday · 08/01/2023 14:35

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 08/01/2023 14:20

Fiction can be tricky unless you know/don't know what genres they enjoy. And if you know what they enjoy.... do you know what they've got?

Recent non-fiction tends to work well.

See, I disagree. I very rarely read non-fiction, as I read to escape, not learn, so unless it's an autobiography of someone whose life I'm particularly interested in (which happens rarely), it'll just sit on the shelf. I'd much prefer fiction, but I tend to enjoy different genres, so unless the writing is awful, you can't go far wrong.

PerpetualFailure · 08/01/2023 14:40

Try and dig for clues from her and ask bookseller to help you choose.

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 08/01/2023 14:41

Hidingawaytoday · 08/01/2023 14:35

See, I disagree. I very rarely read non-fiction, as I read to escape, not learn, so unless it's an autobiography of someone whose life I'm particularly interested in (which happens rarely), it'll just sit on the shelf. I'd much prefer fiction, but I tend to enjoy different genres, so unless the writing is awful, you can't go far wrong.

Show quote history

If you pick well, you can sometimes find non-fiction that appeals to (many) fiction readers, maybe something like The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. But fair point in general; someone who normally only reads fiction is unlikely to want to pick up most nonfiction books.

Augend23 · 08/01/2023 14:51

SomethingOriginal2 · 08/01/2023 14:05

Thanks guys! I think because we're so different people I can't imagine her liking the same books as me but I was thinking a new print that she's unlikely to have read before. She doesn't use a kindle, she likes books with book smells and stuff. I could do a first edition of an old book she likes.
A voucher feels like a cop out. Like I could just give her money.

The cloth bound penguin classics are gorgeous if you know she has a favourite?