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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SM

57 replies

KittiKati · 08/01/2023 12:43

If your adult colleague has declined having their photo on the company website (which is optional) and has said they ‘cannot’ appear on any social media platform for ‘personal reasons’ what would you immediately think?

OP posts:
sparklyWand · 08/01/2023 12:45

Honestly? I’d think it’s none of my business and move on to my next thought.

GrazingSheep · 08/01/2023 12:46

I wouldn’t think anything. None of my business.

JupiterFortified · 08/01/2023 12:46

It could be any number of reasons - maybe they don’t want an ex or family members to be able to track them down. Either way their wishes should be followed.

imaginationhasfailedme · 08/01/2023 12:46

That they adopt/foster, or they themselves were as a child? That they've left an abusive relationship? Or maybe they just don't want to have an online SM presence. Are they in print versions of a company portfolio (if there is one?).

Shoxfordian · 08/01/2023 12:46

Its their choice if they don’t want to be online

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/01/2023 12:46

Witness protection.

Flapjackquack · 08/01/2023 12:46

Nothing because I feel the same as your colleague. I don’t have any exciting reasons other than I don’t want my photo online.

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 12:47

I'd immediately think it's none of my business.

What do you want from this thread? Pages of speculation?

dizzydizzydizzy · 08/01/2023 12:47

Well I would be wondering whether they had skeletons in their cupboard, were hiding from a stalker or similar or whether they are just paranoid. In the end it is up to them though. I would accept it.

808Kate1 · 08/01/2023 12:47

That you immediately accept it and don't ask any further. It's possible they have been the victim of stalking, DV, etc. etc.

OwwwMuuuum · 08/01/2023 12:47

Nasty divorce with ugly child protection/custody issues. Witness protection. Sex change.

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 12:48

Do you really lack this much imagination OP?

SweetPeaGirl · 08/01/2023 12:49

I would think they likely have something horrible or tragic in their past that is none of my business, accept their answer, and make sure they got no bother for it.

BakedTattie · 08/01/2023 12:49

Defo serial killers. Or uk’s top most wanted.

or maybe, just because they don’t want to be on SM

Paslaptis · 08/01/2023 12:51

Could be many different reasons, some fairly serious. Probably not a great idea to speculate about the specific reason -- better for your colleague is everyone just accepts it as her choice.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 08/01/2023 12:51

I'd think it was none of my business.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 08/01/2023 12:52

I wouldn’t think too much of it. I have requested not to be in any photos or social media shared by my workplace; we’re a charity with a large fundraising team and photos and videos get shared on our social media pages all the time. We also sometimes get filmed for local news segments etc.

I have a reason linked to my past for not wanting my photo shared by my workplace as that would essentially publicly share my location. It’s not anyone else’s business as to what that is. It’s nothing sinister but it is something personal I wouldn’t want to go into any detail regarding.

AhoyMaBuoy · 08/01/2023 12:52

I'd think they were wanted by the inter police for tax evasion or part of an elite army going undercover in your office
Lock up your valuables @KittiKati
What story have you decided on ?

GlassOnions · 08/01/2023 12:55

I wouldn't be bothered. Just accept it. They could have a lot of reasons. I really dislike having my photos taken even when they're not on social media. I stopped posting and sharing on SM 3-4 years ago. It caused me a lot of anxiety.

People steal other peoples photos now and use them to create their own profiles. That's always creeped me out. The person doesn't need to give you any other reason. You just need to respect their request and privacy

MagentaRocks · 08/01/2023 12:55

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 12:48

Do you really lack this much imagination OP?

Maybe the OP is the one who doesn't want this and is worried about people's reactions.

JaceLancs · 08/01/2023 13:14

I would guess at DV or issues around fostering or adoption maybe witness protection
I would not dream of asking further and would just then carry on respecting their wishes
Where I work we let people choose an avatar or picture they feel represents them for company website and social media

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 13:20

MagentaRocks · 08/01/2023 12:55

Maybe the OP is the one who doesn't want this and is worried about people's reactions.

Show quote history

Still the same outcome though isn't it?

Pages and pages of speculation, each getting more and more dramatic and imaginative.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 08/01/2023 13:23

I'd probably think they're being dramatic by saying "cannot" instead of simply saying they don't want to, but that's about it.

I fucking hate having my photo taken so I wouldn't blame them.

Millionaireshortbread0 · 08/01/2023 13:24

I wouldn't think anything because it could be any number of reasons - adoption, dv, doesn't want to be on a public domain, witness protection, protecting wider family. Its none of my business why as it doesn't effect me.

roseheartfly · 08/01/2023 13:25

That's what I thought @MagentaRocks .

It's totally fine to want privacy. I wish I did the same from the off.

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