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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m about to be dismissed

258 replies

Firedgirl · 08/01/2023 09:45

I’m in an unusual situation that I know that on Friday next week, I am going to be dismissed. I found out accidentally and they don’t know that I know. Everyone is behaving pretty normally and seems happy. and I’m expected to go in tomorrow and behave normally and get on with my work and hold meetings etc. I’m likely to be dismissed with immediate effect (pay in lieu of notice). I will be removed from the building immediately once they tell me due to security/information etc.

I’ve been at my company for over a year but less than 2 so it’s not really redundancy I guess. Nothing wrong with my work or performance it’s just like redundancy but since I’ve not been there two years I don’t really have those rights. I actually just got a payrise too!

anyone else been in this position? How on earth am I going to behave normally?! Any tips for what I need to ask when they “break the news” to me?

OP posts:
MumUndone · 08/01/2023 17:19

HerkyBaby · 08/01/2023 11:56

At the end of this week you will need your current employers to give you a good reference so that you can get another job. Therefore this week is your opportunity to really shine. You could be facing weeks of unemployment so put best work clothes on everyday this week. Make people tea, take in cake and just be the best possible version of yourself that you can be. Without drawing attention to it remove all personal items during the week so that when the inevitable happens on Friday you will be able to leave with dignity which is rarely achieved when clutching a carrier bag or box of desk detritus . Dignity and professionalism need to be your key words to get you through the week. You absolutely must go in with your happiest face. However if you hear of any colleagues who are going to get the chop this week , who are about to take out a car loan etc might be kind to advise them to think carefully about the purchase for at least another week. You can do this OP. Be fabulous, be you.

Oh FFS. She doesn't need to 'shine'. She's going to be made redundant - they will give a standard reference and how she performs now really doesn't make a difference.

MumUndone · 08/01/2023 17:21

HisNameWasMike · 08/01/2023 12:09

Does anyone on MN have an actual job?! Some of the replies on here are comical.

Agree.

Puffin87 · 08/01/2023 17:21

RosaMoline · 08/01/2023 16:22

Forgive my ignorance, but is being ‘escorted off the premises’ a usual thing these day? It’s sounds very dramatic, and I would’ve thought it would only apply for gross misconduct or something like that.

For jobs where you deal with high risk data (especially financial services) it's the norm.

People are told they're going and immediately lose access to prevent any acts of revenge or stealing data.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 08/01/2023 17:23

Goodgrief82 · 08/01/2023 15:55

Some compelling reasons why that is shit advice

  1. bad reference
  2. you have broken your contract so no reason to pay you for the week you drop sticks and scarper
  3. burning bridges in the future possibly
  4. who knows who accurate the “accidentally finding out” information is
Show quote history

You can't be given a bad reference, let alone one because you happened to be sick for a week. It's hardly the crime of the century.

You can be a suck up if you like, though.

Stopthatknocking · 08/01/2023 17:28

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 08/01/2023 17:23

You can't be given a bad reference, let alone one because you happened to be sick for a week. It's hardly the crime of the century.

You can be a suck up if you like, though.

Show quote history

Of course you can be given a bad reference! If your performance was bad.
But it doesn't sound like this is the case in OPs instance,

Feelallright · 08/01/2023 17:31

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 08/01/2023 17:23

You can't be given a bad reference, let alone one because you happened to be sick for a week. It's hardly the crime of the century.

You can be a suck up if you like, though.

Show quote history

Of course you can, as long as the reference is true. If the OP is off sick when she is not sick and they find out, that could mean a bad reference. It’s likely that they wouldn’t, but they could.

Jimboscott0115 · 08/01/2023 17:32

The one thing I haven't hear mentioned OP is what your sick pay policy is? I wouldn't lose out on any pay as a result of this.

On he same theme , I wouldn't discuss it with your manager or HR either - there's a reasonable chance they'd bring it forward and you'd miss out on several days pay and in the situation you're in I'd want to get every penny out of them for the least possible effort.

LadyWithLapdog · 08/01/2023 17:41

Runningfire · 08/01/2023 16:54

Get to doctors and get signed off with stress for a few months…..

I assume you’re joking? You would self-certify for the first week. You may get signed off with stress, but unlikely to be for a few months. May start with a week or two and get regular reviews. Also, what purpose would that serve for the OP? She’s not sick and she’d be looking for another job. Stress is also a part of life, not everything needs to be medicalised.

Growyourowncrumpets · 08/01/2023 21:10

You can't be given a bad reference, let alone one because you happened to be sick for a week. It's hardly the crime of the century.
You can be a suck up if you like, though.

You can be given a bad reference if you can prove what you are saying.
Also, its a small world in some industries and a lot of information is passed along verbally. All it takes a quick 'informal' phone call to your stb ex manager and they can fill in the blanks.
It's always worth trying to end on a high note when you leave a job for this reason.

WinterFoxes · 08/01/2023 23:11

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 08/01/2023 17:23

You can't be given a bad reference, let alone one because you happened to be sick for a week. It's hardly the crime of the century.

You can be a suck up if you like, though.

Show quote history

It's not a good or bad reference - it's a record of sick days. Say OP has had two genuine sick days over the last twelve months and two the year before. That shows up on the reference and a prospective employer sees a rise from 2-7 annual sick days over two years . They might choose a candidate with a lower rate of sick days. I would.

Gigglechop · 09/01/2023 06:35

MumUndone · 08/01/2023 17:21

Agree.

Show quote history

Many seem to be

SAHMs or

Full time carers or

have health conditions such as fibromyalgia and don’t work and haven’t worked for year

so I take employment “advice” on mumsnet with a pinch of salt! 😂

Gigglechop · 09/01/2023 06:35

MumUndone · 08/01/2023 17:21

Agree.

Show quote history

Many seem to be

SAHMs or

Full time carers or

have health conditions such as fibromyalgia and don’t work and haven’t worked for year

so I take employment “advice” on mumsnet with a pinch of salt! 😂

daisychain01 · 09/01/2023 13:03

Gigglechop · 09/01/2023 06:35

Many seem to be

SAHMs or

Full time carers or

have health conditions such as fibromyalgia and don’t work and haven’t worked for year

so I take employment “advice” on mumsnet with a pinch of salt! 😂

Show quote history

If an OP decides to post an employment / job situation on AIBU, they can hardly expect it to be particularly reliable validated advice.

If you post on the dedicated Work Board, it will at least filter out the "just take sick leave and tell them you have a disability and you'll see them in Tribunal" types, which are based on ill-informed opinion most of the time.

You still get the "that's constructive dismissal" for all manner of employment issues, but they soon get put right 😊

Kinnorafron · 09/01/2023 13:10

MumUndone · 08/01/2023 17:21

Agree.

Show quote history

Thirded - some replies are like the 1950s and many are mixing up terminology and defining it incorrectly as well as giving faulty advice.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 09/01/2023 14:52

Oh come off it. Who hasn't been sick for a week in their life?

An employer would have to be pretty harsh to find the perfect candidate and then turn them down because they had five days off work, self cert. And if they did, you'd be better off not working there anyway.

user1496262496 · 09/01/2023 15:21

Go sick! Use the time to update cv, get agency work, look for your dream job.

Gigglechop · 09/01/2023 15:24

Kinnorafron · 09/01/2023 13:10

Thirded - some replies are like the 1950s and many are mixing up terminology and defining it incorrectly as well as giving faulty advice.

Show quote history

I cringe for them actually

cortisolqueen · 12/01/2023 19:48

@Firedgirl how did you get on today?

nickelbabe · 14/01/2023 13:16

@Firedgirl are you okay?

Original poster
Firedgirl · 14/01/2023 13:54

Hello! Me again. I was indeed let go. What a surprise haha. We were told earlier in the week that there would be company changes. Many others too, a large proportion of the company.

I pretended I didn’t already know it was me. But said to others I highly suspected it would be me. I played the game. I did very little work as most people didn’t as they waited to hear. I was dismissed in a very quick call with immediate effect. I just get paid my notice. It happened before Friday too which was good.

however… I had a wonderful head start and updated my cv and already applied for a job. I have had an initial call regarding a job I want! I posted on social media and have been blown away by peoples kindness… recruiters, people I worked with years ago, mates, friends of friends, strangers …. All reposting and sending me links to jobs, offering to look at my cv, offering sympathy and a friendly ear. Some saying they have been there too and we will all be fine.

The group of us that were let go (from all over the world) have connected and boosted each other too.

Honestly I’ve wanted to cry more from being this loved, not actually tears from losing my job. I had no idea that I wasn’t alone in this.

OP posts:
cortisolqueen · 14/01/2023 13:58

Glad you got a head start on job hunting OP. All the best

rainbowstardrops · 14/01/2023 14:10

I'm glad it's turned into more of a positive experience for you!

stormywaves · 14/01/2023 14:12

If you need any information or contact details from your email account, now is the time. Make sure you have all your payslips, P60's etc and any pension etc info.

Delete anything personal from your email and computer, hand it back to them clean.

Clear your desk of any personal belongings so you can just walk out quickly.

They do owe you a reference so make sure you get that.

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 14/01/2023 15:02

I'm glad to hear that you've got lots of support Firedgirl remember it's onwards and upwards now.

Ellmau · 14/01/2023 15:05

Good luck with the new job application, and best wishes to all your fellow victims too.

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