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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m about to be dismissed

258 replies

Firedgirl · 08/01/2023 09:45

I’m in an unusual situation that I know that on Friday next week, I am going to be dismissed. I found out accidentally and they don’t know that I know. Everyone is behaving pretty normally and seems happy. and I’m expected to go in tomorrow and behave normally and get on with my work and hold meetings etc. I’m likely to be dismissed with immediate effect (pay in lieu of notice). I will be removed from the building immediately once they tell me due to security/information etc.

I’ve been at my company for over a year but less than 2 so it’s not really redundancy I guess. Nothing wrong with my work or performance it’s just like redundancy but since I’ve not been there two years I don’t really have those rights. I actually just got a payrise too!

anyone else been in this position? How on earth am I going to behave normally?! Any tips for what I need to ask when they “break the news” to me?

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 08/01/2023 10:00

So you're expecting a few redundancies?

firstly, they might have leaked the wrong info intentionally.

secondly, get your stuff out of there.

thirdly, if it's not happened by Friday, call in sick. They can then tell you on the phone and it won't affect your reference or anything.

WhatCanWeDoNext · 08/01/2023 10:00

If you know this is 100% definite, and there are legitimate reasons that you cannot argue against, would it be worth handing in your notice on Monday instead?

Presumably they would then put you on paid leave till the end of your notice period because of the information/security that you mentioned. I know this won’t help you short term, but it would mean you would not have a dismissal on record and look better when applying for other jobs.

I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 08/01/2023 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EmmaEmerald · 08/01/2023 10:00

WhatCanWeDoNext · 08/01/2023 10:00

If you know this is 100% definite, and there are legitimate reasons that you cannot argue against, would it be worth handing in your notice on Monday instead?

Presumably they would then put you on paid leave till the end of your notice period because of the information/security that you mentioned. I know this won’t help you short term, but it would mean you would not have a dismissal on record and look better when applying for other jobs.

I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.

It's not a dismissal though.

Craftycorvid · 08/01/2023 10:01

I’d grit my teeth and be professional if I felt I would need a reference. However, I would quietly let it be known I knew (so long as you don’t out someone else in the process ie someone gave you confidential information). I’d request a meeting if possible, ask what loose ends you can tie up in the next week and be as businesslike as you can. You will feel rubbish anyway, but more so if you just try and act as if it’s all normal.

Cileymyrus · 08/01/2023 10:01

I agree with pp who said don’t call in sick. Not only could it be grounds for dismissal and you’ll
lose your notice pay, when you’re looking for a new job some factor in sick record.

I would go in, let them know you know, negotiate a written reference you can take with you when you leave. Then paste on a cheery smile, and crack on with the last week. You want to leave on good terms as that will benefit you long term if you ever need further references or new employers contact them to find out the leaving circs.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 08/01/2023 10:02

Firedgirl · 08/01/2023 09:45

I’m in an unusual situation that I know that on Friday next week, I am going to be dismissed. I found out accidentally and they don’t know that I know. Everyone is behaving pretty normally and seems happy. and I’m expected to go in tomorrow and behave normally and get on with my work and hold meetings etc. I’m likely to be dismissed with immediate effect (pay in lieu of notice). I will be removed from the building immediately once they tell me due to security/information etc.

I’ve been at my company for over a year but less than 2 so it’s not really redundancy I guess. Nothing wrong with my work or performance it’s just like redundancy but since I’ve not been there two years I don’t really have those rights. I actually just got a payrise too!

anyone else been in this position? How on earth am I going to behave normally?! Any tips for what I need to ask when they “break the news” to me?

This happened to me years ago some
Minutes of a meeting were left and I quickly photocopied them and took them home and then I got a sick note for 1 month "work related stress" and another one up to 6 months then they called me in but I'd had 6 months pay 💰 and it bought me some time for job hunting and time out

WhatCanWeDoNext · 08/01/2023 10:04

EmmaEmerald · 08/01/2023 10:00

It's not a dismissal though.

Show quote history

Yes, I see that now thank you. OP clarified while I was typing my post.

Lay offs make it completely different.

DogBowlsAreMyWeapon · 08/01/2023 10:06

Please stop repeating “80s untruths” about references containing all manners of shite.

It’s not how it works these days.

Feelallright · 08/01/2023 10:07

You’re going to get a load of irrelevant replies because of your thread title and opening post. You are not being dismissed. You think your job is going to be made redundant. That’s different.

AvocadoPlant · 08/01/2023 10:08

Personally I would go in tomorrow and spend a bit of time sorting through any personal items in my desk and bringing them home tomorrow evening. I would also double check my computer in case of any personal stuff and delete it.
Then if you’re not able to work from home, go back on Tuesday and have an honest discussion with your manager. They will respect your integrity and you don’t know but it may even help in terms of future work.

Galliano · 08/01/2023 10:09

If others are going to be laid off in similar roles then embrace the opportunity to start applying for external roles ahead of others. Depending on how big a company you work for you could perhaps use your network to secure another internal role?

There’s no shame in the position you’re in; it’s really common in some industries. Just do the sensible - work your hours and no more for the week, ensure you have contact details for anyone you want to keep in touch with for professional or personal reasons, clear out your belongings at your own pace so you don’t have to pack up your things on Friday with an escort looking on and print off/email anything you are allowed to (thinking electronic payslips etc here rather than company secrets).

My company works to an annual plan and I’ve already gone to market for three roles in 2023; others will be doing the same so try not to worry too much, there are roles around.

MzHz · 08/01/2023 10:10

Ducksinthebath · 08/01/2023 09:59

Will someone get in trouble if management know you know? If not, I’d go in and very professionally explain you’ve come into possession of this information and it makes things rather awkward for you. I’m sure they’ll want you out the building asap and you’ll get an extra paid week off.

Yeah, this seems a sensible approach.

PurpleFlower1983 · 08/01/2023 10:10

35965a · 08/01/2023 09:52

Sorry I see it’ll be pay in lieu of notice, are you sure they can do that as per your contract?

It will be a job where clients/information can be taken. E.g. recruitment, accountancy

HermioneWeasley · 08/01/2023 10:13

OP, I’d ask for this thread to be deleted or moved. You will not get good employment advice in AIBU

Puffin87 · 08/01/2023 10:17
  • During the week behave politely but be guarded.
  • Don't let on you know.
  • Start applying for a new job now.
  • Clear your desk in advance
Wakk · 08/01/2023 10:17

Are you certain?

Ellmau · 08/01/2023 10:18

Personally I would go in tomorrow and spend a bit of time sorting through any personal items in my desk and bringing them home tomorrow evening. I would also double check my computer in case of any personal stuff and delete it.

And then I would consider telling the others affected.

WickedStepmomNOT · 08/01/2023 10:20

Sorry for your situation, but take advantage of the unexpected advance notice. Do as others said, quietly clear desk, computer, of personal items, copy anything you need eg payslips, emails from managers and colleagues praising your work, etc. Get personal contact details from those who might be useful / you want to keep in touch with.

Dont call in sick, or take confidential info thats not yours. Do try to act normal but dont do any extra time or service - arrive and leave on time, take full lunch and tea breaks etc. Make sure your paid out any outstanding expenses eg taxi reimbursements to attend meetings. And put out feelers for other jobs - 'my sister is looking, does anyone know' type approach.

Good luck - I keep hearing on the news its a good job market right now.

Cherrysoup · 08/01/2023 10:20

Go sick. Go in on Friday so you can get any personal items before they kick you out.

TheUndoing · 08/01/2023 10:21

If you’ll be asked to leave immediately then I’d spend next week saving/printing any material you’ll need once you no longer have access to your work email/IT system. Things like contact details for your network (especially people who might help with your job search), work samples, documents you might want to be able to recreate in a new role etc.

EmmaEmerald · 08/01/2023 10:22

If anyone asks re stuff, say you're having a New Year clean desk.

In my case, I removed a few bits and said "I keep needing these shoes on home days" or some such.

Allergictoironing · 08/01/2023 10:23

Ellmau · 08/01/2023 10:18

Personally I would go in tomorrow and spend a bit of time sorting through any personal items in my desk and bringing them home tomorrow evening. I would also double check my computer in case of any personal stuff and delete it.

And then I would consider telling the others affected.

That would possibly put the OP in the "gross misconduct" ballpark, so really no don't tell others.

Brefugee · 08/01/2023 10:24

that sucks, OP. TBH I'd go in on Monday and start tidying up. Make sure projects you're on can be left without issues to whoever has to take it over. And I'd probably let your boss know that you have found out by accident.

If you're "lucky" and they'll dismiss you and pay you until the end of the month, you might win a few days extra of being paid to look for work. If not, you'll have to ride out the week, but I'd work only the hours contracted and make sure that any work i was doing, new or old projects, was well annotated and ready for handover.

If you are allowed let your contacts and clients know, and check about setting up an automated email response.

MountedbyHarryWindsor · 08/01/2023 10:26

I'd email them to say I was self certificating for the rest of the week due to struggling with my mental health / experiencing panic attacks. I'd ask them to make adjustments for me returning as I considered my mental health problems to meet the definition of disability. During the week, I'd get a doctor's note to sign me off for longer. This might protect me from dismissal and if not, give me evidence of discrimination. To anyone who disagrees, knowing you're about to be fired and expected to still work is enough to damage anyone's mental health anyway! Also, if you found out a week before you were dismissed, then that could be evidence they have not followed proper dismissal procedures so you could make a claim for unfair dismissal as well even if under 2 years employment.