Wondering how to refer to my sister's daughter now?

[LoveMyPiano]

I always referred to her as my niece - but she is going into a sort of non-gender stage..... Her name is a very neutral one now. But I still cannot stop referring to her (them??) as my niece. Relation/ships are usually gender specific, and a bit hard to avoid using I have found, but I really don't want to offend. It is the "non-gender" bit that is causing me some difficulty.
Help......

Oh for goodness sake, just say niece, she'll be out of this silly phase in a year or so. If she's around just use her name or phil if she prefers, so you look like you are playing along. You'll laugh about it in a few years time.

Out of interest, if you believe neice is the correct word and she remains female why would you disrespect her preference like that behind her back but not Infront of her? Bit hypocritical?

Have you asked yourself why you care about what someone else wants to identify as? Why fight that battle? The majority of people adhere to traditional habits.

Well I don't know if the person you addressed this to has asked themself that but I've asked myself. The answer is that that biology matters. Especially to women and girls as it shapes our lives due to assumptions about our biological and reproductive capabilities.

Removing sex based categorisations for humans who are sexually dimorphic only works to benefit males. Women lose important protections which reduce the discrimination we faced based on assumptions about our reproductive capabilities and women who choose to opt out of womanhood will never be treated like males in societal terms either (this is enshrined in law and inhertience laws which have not been amended to remove the bias towards males and estates still pass down based upon the sex of the beneficiary.

So it's not benign to use preferred pronouns. It certainly is not kind to females.

This was my niece.

Thanks, lifeturnsonadime - you put that perfectly.

If it's all about 'identity' and nothing at all to do with science, then why are so many people with this identity expecting to be able to access single-sex spaces that are designated based on biological (i.e. scientific) fact?

Why can I not simply identify as the Prime Minister and move myself straight into Number 10?!

I couldn't use the word Niebling. I'd just hear The Ride of the Valkyries in my head all the time let's be honest here, Kill the Wabbit

(Yes, I know it's Nibelungen, but I never was that good at German).

'Fran's eldest. No, not Ben - Storme/Aiden/Ash/Robin/Beyghe/Whatever'

Refer to the person by their name then you will not offend anyone!

Another take on this OP - if you don’t say niece, but use a word like nibling, then you are opening up a conversation into why you are doing that - if your sisters child isn’t ready to have that conversation directly with those family members, is it really your place to do that for them?

as long as they aren’t “out” with wider family, say niece or dance round it as others have said eg “my sister’s eldest/youngest”.

Just keep calling her your niece because that’s what she is and no silly thing she makes up in her head will ever change that fact..

I'm not sure that pretending a woman is a man is all that traditional...

Anyway, I don't care if someone is a woman and wants to be a man, other than sympathy, I suppose. It can't be nice not liking your body, but a lot of people suffer with that in one form or another. Since I don't really care about anyone's desire to be a man if they're not one, can't I just be left out of it? Why am I pressured into calling her "him" when I know she isn't? I don't want to be involved. She can pretend to be a man if she wants, but I don't want to join in with any of it.

If I know that Alice is a woman, then I want to be left alone to call her what she is. I don't want to have to buy into her dysphoria and pretend she's suddenly a man. She isn't, she can't be. She might think she feels like a man. But what does "man" feel like anyway?

Wider acquaintances won’t and can’t care. Nibling might confuse them. ‘Her child’ does the trick.

Not a big deal. If pushed (you won’t be) stick to the truth.

You could use their name? Or refer to them as your sisters child?

Gosh how 1950s of you, are you Christian?

Is that your way of saying that you don't tolerate, validate and #bekind to people who identify as Christians and/or are elderly and grew up in the 1950s? That IS surprisingly intolerant.

Niece

Yes, nibling racks me up. Better perhaps to be misgendered than called a nibling

< cracks me up >

it's [nibling] a pretty standard word in the US now

That's no reason to inflict it upon the rest of us. Even if the above were true, which it isn't.

The XX in every cell isn't true. My daughter has Turner Syndrome and she is very much a female but she only has one X in each cell, other genetic conditions also mean there are differences in cell make up and also anomalies in some chromosomes doesn't make her less of a girl.

Also in response to some crude bastard who mentioned "fully functioning fanny" earlier in the thread making a person a female, well she doesn't have a fully functioning one of those either and will need all manner of hormones for her body to develop but she's a little girl. I wish people would open their eyes a little to the narrative they're putting out there and how that can impact others.

OP this really isn't a difficult concept, my sister's child/ eldest/ youngest. Take your pick.

Thank you,@PumpkinDart , for,your perspective

@PumpkinDart I'm sorry that you feel that people were personally having a go at you.

But the fact that your daughter has a specific genetic disorder doesn't mean that girls who say they are non binary are not girls? Or that boys can be girls because of some undefinable feeling that they claim to have?

Sister's child. She'll either get her shit together with this narcissistic nonsense or she won't. But she'll always be your sister's child however she identifies.

"You've been warned" sounds like a threat to me. As in: "Do as I say or bad stuff will happen, don't say I haven't warned you"

"You've been warned" sounds like a threat to me. As in: "Do as I say or bad stuff will happen, don't say I haven't warned you"

It's ever thus, isn't it? We've all got to #bekind in playing by my rules.... or else.

This isn’t helpful. Your daughter’s genetic condition does not negate the very real concerns people have about compelled speech and how this whole nasty coercion ultimately disadvantages girls and women.

If one were to be woke (is this the right term in the right context that the young ones are using now?) one might say 'my siblings child' so as to be absolutely sure not to assume anyone within the description is identified as a particular sex.

If one were to be true to ones beliefs/and or he in a challenging mood they may say 'my niece/my sister's daughter ' and if one were questioned or reprimanded for not respecting that said niece is not a woman one might respond 'my name is ***, pronouns she/her, and I identify as a woman who has a sister who has a female child whom I like to call my niece....I ask that you respect that'

But, I'm probably in the 'eye roll older people don't understand ' bracket being the grand old age of 38.