Wondering how to refer to my sister's daughter now?

[LoveMyPiano]

I always referred to her as my niece - but she is going into a sort of non-gender stage..... Her name is a very neutral one now. But I still cannot stop referring to her (them??) as my niece. Relation/ships are usually gender specific, and a bit hard to avoid using I have found, but I really don't want to offend. It is the "non-gender" bit that is causing me some difficulty.
Help......

Use Nibling.
if asked to elaborate say ‘my sisters child’

Hello, so my almost 16 year old son has been dabbling in weed and possibly other stuff. I am not at all happy, his dad is like he’s a teenage boy - he’s going to experiment; but what am I best to do about it? I obviously love him and want the best possible life for him but he thinks I’m nagging but I just couldn’t bare it if anything happened to him!! Does anyone have any advice from being in a similar situation? Have you had a teen who did and gave up and is fine? The other worrying thing for me is weed is seen as the gateway drug, but it’s also 3 times stronger now than it was when I was younger! Thanks for reading.

OK. I'm prepared to be shot down now - Yes, ask her what she wants to be called and call her that. BUT NIEBLINGS/NIBLINGS hahaha

Why is it ridiculous? It’s just a word to refer to your siblings children. Do you find the word sibling ridiculous? If not, why not?

But everybody knows what 'sibling' means; and it's still really odd when people use it in the singular to refer to just one brother or sister - like talking about your 'spouse' instead of your husband or wife.

These are 'catch-all' words that belong on forms that are designed to cover all eventualities concerning multiple unknown people; or when used in the plural e.g. "My siblings and their spouses are all coming to our house for Christmas".

Nibbling/Niebling make me think of Nibbler from Futurama too - or possibly Wagner.

She is your niece. Call her her name to her face but correctly call her niece in relation to other people.

Mangling language never benefits girls. Most human beings are non binary in the sense that we are not all walking sterotypes. We don't need to change language to be who we want to be.

You bit!

Just be careful with your phrasing. ‘I’m auntie to xxx and xxx’ ‘My sisters kids’ ‘I’m their auntie’ or if speaking to someone who doesn’t know about the gender change and is unlikely to see them then just go with niece, or if you must explain say ‘niece… well was niece but is now non-binary so I’m not sure what to call them’

Because the word 'sibling' was not coined to avoid the use of the words 'sister' or 'brother'.

The word- 'nibling' - has been created to avoid the use of the words 'niece' or 'nephew'.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll, I think this is something you're going to have to deal with yourself in order to understand it.

It grates on me to use "they" because yes, it can be confusing. It's the word that's acceptable for people who don't want to affiliate with a gender though. There are ways to use it so it's not confusing and the more you do it, the easier that will become. I somehow manage to avoid calling anyone "they" or "he" or "she" when the person doesn't want to be he or she. You can try that. It'll be healthy for your brain to have the workout.

I do advise you not to be stubborn on this. If you insist on calling people what they don't want to be called, you could cause serious problems. Don't say you haven't been warned.

I do think it would help you to sort this out to consider that you might really hurt someone who is struggling if you insist your way is right. Just make an effort to respect what people want to be. It costs you nothing and can help alleviate suffering. Don't be a drama queen.

Could you just use their name and say sisters name eldest/youngest?

I'd call her your Niece .. because ehh she's your Niece.. she can identify with what ever she wishes.. doesn't mean you have to change reality !

By all means call her by the name she wants to be called by but she can't stop being female offspring of your sister as this is a fact !

I would just call them by their name. If it's someone from another side of the family who wouldn't know them if you didn't say niece I just wouldn't talk about them- especially if they're judgemental.

There's a lot I don't tell my in-laws about my family as they're just massive gossips and I know it's all shared as soon as we leave.

@LoveMyPiano id refer to them in the way they wished to be referred to. Why would I want to hurt my siblings child, when they have done nothing to me/mine?

I think being kind, including using pronouns that an individual prefers, is the thing to do. Unless or until my siblings children did/do something hurtful then they deserve the respect of their wider family. And deciding they no longer wish to be referred to in the sex they were born in and me accepting that, is, in my mind, part of the respect I owe my family.

How about my sister's gender neutral child? They are instead of she/her.

🤣
Agreed

You will need to create your own post for this or you won't get any responses

I do advise you not to be stubborn on this. If you insist on calling people what they don't want to be called, you could cause serious problems. Don't say you haven't been warned.

I do think it would help you to sort this out to consider that you might really hurt someone who is struggling if you insist your way is right. Just make an effort to respect what people want to be. It costs you nothing and can help alleviate suffering.

Wow. Just wow. Listen up vipers! We've been warned: our language must at all times, even when the subject is not present, be correct.... or there will be consequences, serious problems!!!!

Tell you the truth @Antst my feelings get really hurt when reality is denied and I'm forced to go along with other people's beliefs, to not only respect their beliefs but compelled to speak and act as though I share those beliefs. So actually, yes, it does cost me something every time that I am forced into a position to be kind and alleviate someone else's suffering: it costs me honesty and pain.

Why does the respect never run in both directions? Why don't people respect my faith in science and biology and keep their gender theory to themselves? For example, I don't force Catholicism on anyone else, so don't force gender theory on me.

Whoops - didn’t realise I had done that 😂 first post! Apologies

Denise?

And de nephew?!

@UsefulChocReindeer, you're being a major drama queen and it won't end well. My father was the same. It will come back to bite you.

You can be flippant, you can try to paint yourself as a victim, you can make other people's genitals and gender about you. But the world has changed and people won't accept it.

In every single one of these situations I've encountered, it's the stubborn old curmudgeon who ends up losing out. People will not accept your attitude. Family members and friends will start hearing from their kids and relatives that you're not to be invited anywhere. By the time you wake up, it'll be too late. Do as you will with that information.

I don't see them

Well if they don't seer hear you, just refer continue to refer to them as your niece. This is a non-issue.

'Nibling' is how most of the people in my home county pronounce 'nibbling'. So that sounds daft to me.

LDS people aren't stupid. Some of us are pretty hot on this gender stuff, at least in my ward. I talk about it openly. I don't know how your religious side of the family are going to react to your niece claiming this gender identity though.

As someone assumed my own niece is non-binary as she's gender non-conforming, I'd honestly just stick to niece, or just use her name.

'My sister's child'