Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About flying business class

263 replies

KittiKati · 07/01/2023 11:18

DH has fibromyalgia & MS. It’s extremely difficult for him to sit in a plane seat for any length of time whether short or long haul.

We were talking about holidays and he suggested he flies business class and me and DS fly economy. I said I didn’t feel that this was appropriate and would rather save up the extra money and we all fly business class.

He seemed genuinely put out by this and is acting like I am being unreasonable? Interested in other peoples opinions please

OP posts:
Merlin3189 · 09/01/2023 19:49

I've said YABU since there are only two options, I do see your point of view and think it not unreasonable, but it's not what I'd do.

If paying a large premium for first class is worthwhile for everyone, then go ahead - and perhaps you should have been doing it already? But it looks to me that it is only worth it for your DH, so there's no need to waste money for everyone else.
Often my partner and I travel in separated seats (in economy) in order for me to have sufficient legroom (I'm 1.97m, she's 1.57m.) The difference in cost (if any) is more acceptable to her than it is to me!

silverbubbles · 09/01/2023 20:04

I think you sound unreasonable. he is not travelling business class for any other reason apart from health.

HolidayHappy123 · 09/01/2023 20:06

If it’s short haul the business class seats are exactly the same size as economy with the middle seat blocked.

KittiKati · 09/01/2023 20:24

Yeah I’ve said no problem at all, he can go Business class, me and DS will slum it in economy ☺️. We both work hard and don’t have any particular money worries, but it seems silly to waste the extra costs of business seats when we could easily spend the money elsewhere either on the house or towards another holiday.

I’m not sure it’s worth it for a short flight but long haul I think it’s definitely worth him having some comfort. Not sure where we want to venture to yet, out son wants to go to New York (DH and I have already been there and are not bothered about returning) or DH and I quite fancy Abu Dhabi but I’m not sure DS will like it. There’s so many places in the world who knows!?

They also want to go inter railing around Europe on sleeper trains! 😁

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/01/2023 20:31

OP, have you ever flown business class? We did this year for the first time, from LA to Manchester (via Heathrow). The business class lounge at LA was amazing, so quiet and loads of seats to choose from. Did really feel exlusive, like we were in celeb-land! But it went downhill after that really, in terms of value for money. At Heathrow the lounge was shit, a glorified all inclusive type of atmosphere - overcrowded and noisy and with uncleared tables at Heathrow.

Yes, so we had lie flat seats on the plane from LA to Heathrow but it was over the engines so even with ear plugs in and it being a night flight it was just so noisy. And they turn the lights out and just expect you to go to sleep so don't expect much service at all. I was uncomfortably hot and so thirsty. With the noise too I didn't sleep a wink even though it was a night flight so I SHOULD have felt tired, so all in all, it was a total waste of money.

The food was fine but, it was just food, we'd had loads of it in the LA lounge anyway so didn't need much. And of course had availed ourselves of champagne in the lounge too so by the time they hurriedly brought us a glass of champagne as the rest of the flight was boarding it didn't feel much of a treat to be honest. I mean, it's just a glass of fizz when all is said and done!! The meal in the morning as we were approaching the UK was a cooked breakfast if you wanted it. But it was, like, 3am to our body clocks so we weren't really hungry and ended up leaving a lot of it.

Business class from Heathrow to Manchester was pointless. So we could sit at the front of the plane, get off first, and we had an empty seat between us. So what? They threw some afternoon tea at us and were virtually hovering over us waiting for us to eat our scones because the flight was so short they needed to collect the tray back in ready for landing. Hardly a premium experience. We didn't enjoy it, we'd had the lounge food at Heathrow and our appetites were all over the place.

If we were doing it again, I would book economy but look VERY carefully at the type of aircraft and choose my flight and seat accordingly. We had a very pleasant journey indeed in economy from the UK to the US and would book the exactly the same again in a heartbeat. I would be happy to pay for my DH only to go business class if he had the issues your DH has, as I really don't think business class is worth the thousands of pounds extra per family. I was glad we tried it, but unless someone else is paying I wouldn't bother with it again. Maybe if we were going to Oz or somewhere longer than 11 hours I would consider it.

What you'd need to consider is that he would be "queue jumping" if he was business class, so he'd be on his own checking in, separate from you. He'd then have access to a different lounge to you. Would he be able to manage on his own? SAme with getting off, he'd be off the plane first having to wait for you to get off.

MrsDouglas · 09/01/2023 20:42

I hope I don't get shot down here lol but I would suggest a similar compromise... he stays at jome and you go on holiday with your son 😆 then it means you dont have to save up for any business class seats at all 😆😏

MrsDouglas · 09/01/2023 20:45

I hope I don't get shot down here lol but the regularly inappropriate voice in my head responds with this compromise; I would suggest a similar compromise... he stays at home and you go on holiday with your son 😆 then it means you dont have to save up for any business class seats at all 😆😏

cruisebaba1 · 09/01/2023 20:45

Soapnutty · 09/01/2023 18:15

Fibromyalgia... definitely would not get a business class seat IMO.

Hark you, fibromyalgia can be incredibly painful and having more space could prevent a lot of discomfort not only on the plane but with less increased pain for the first few days of the holiday.

Well said!!!! Someone on here who understands FM

Siepie · 09/01/2023 21:09

MrsDouglas · 09/01/2023 20:45

I hope I don't get shot down here lol but the regularly inappropriate voice in my head responds with this compromise; I would suggest a similar compromise... he stays at home and you go on holiday with your son 😆 then it means you dont have to save up for any business class seats at all 😆😏

You suggest he should be left out of his family's holiday because he's disabled?

Dibbydoos · 09/01/2023 21:17

You ANBU.

We're going to Thailand for a family wedding later this year and we're all going BC cos my mum needs to be in BC. My son suggested PE which we used when we came home from the USA cos we took a red eye as it's easier to sleep there vs SC, but Thailand is a 14+ hour flight, so BC feels best.

BA have a sale on at the mo, might be worthwhile taking a peak now.... But be careful cos BC for short haul is not BC.

Good luck x

ArchibaldsDaddy · 09/01/2023 21:26

Utter chutney! I fly Business with work quite a bit and, other than a slightly better meal and maybe a little more legroom, I’m very little better off. An aisle seat would allow the same amount of stretch.

The key issue here is the reaction to you all joining him - that’s total arsey behaviour. Even if I could fly Business, if it meant being separated from my family, I’d fly back with my gang.

So, YANBU - but he definitely is being a bit of a belter.

ArchibaldsDaddy · 09/01/2023 21:27

Utter chutney! I fly Business with work quite a bit and, other than a slightly better meal and maybe a little more legroom, I’m very little better off. An aisle seat would allow the same amount of stretch.

The key issue here is the reaction to you all joining him - that’s total arsey behaviour. Even if I could fly Business, if it meant being separated from my family, I’d fly back with my gang.

So, YANBU - but he definitely is being a bit of a belter.

scaredoff · 09/01/2023 21:34

I don't understand what you mean that you "didn't feel this was appropriate". What exactly is your problem with his suggestion? It makes perfect sense to me.

It also depends of course on how much money you have. I could never imagine taking the whole family business class and it seems an incredible extravagance. But if you have sufficient funds that it isn't, I suppose that's different.

Covermeinsunshine · 09/01/2023 21:39

I think you are not being unreasonable. It’s not just about his disability, it’s about the way you start your holiday. If you are able to save and all go business, then that’s the way you should travel…. as a family. The fact he’s taking umbrage at the suggestion is very strange.

He may be travelling business for medical reasons, but that doesn’t negate the fact it’s an upgrade. Why would he not want his wife and daughter to travel with him?

I’m afraid if it were me, we’d either all fly business, or if he insisted on travelling on his own in business, I’d be on a plane elsewhere for a girls trip with my daughter.

As much as you and your daughter don’t have fibro or MS, your lives are all impacted by your husbands illness. If saving some extra so you can all fly business is feasible, then what a treat for your daughter, and what a great start to your holiday.

Gardengirl108 · 09/01/2023 21:40

We were flying with Cathay Pacific from Delhi to Bangkok and were offered one free upgrade to business class at check in. I got them to give it to my husband as he’d twisted his ankle the day before and was still needing to ice it. It didn’t even cross my mind for a second that he couldn’t take the upgrade if we all didn’t have one. And if I’d needed it to be comfortable, then he wouldn’t have hesitated to make sure I took it. That’s what you do for people you care about. In the end, they gave all 3 of us a free upgrade (including DS) at the gate, so we lucked out. First and last time I’ve flown business and it was fantastic.

MrsDouglas · 09/01/2023 21:50

There is always someone trying to twist comments into something that feeds their own negativity 🙄leave me out of it hun. I was actually responding to this post with my opinion; his wife and child should also be able to fly business class because they are a family going on holiday! The holiday starts before you reach your final destination. If they travel separately, why not go the whole hog and book separate hotels.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 09/01/2023 21:51

YABU
Business class us hugely more expensive and you and DS are fortunate enough to be able bodied. DH had a medical need for it, you don’t. Unless you are wealthy enough to be able to easily adored the extra cost then you are being really selfish and very unreasonable imo.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 09/01/2023 21:51

Because there is no medical need for separate hotels.

StillMourning · 09/01/2023 22:19

@KittiKati re European sleeper trains, ME TOO!! They look fantastic and not to expensive 😁

Bernardo1 · 09/01/2023 22:25

That's true, but a sympathetic crew would quitely take back an opened bottle.

HedgehogB · 09/01/2023 22:35

SavoirFlair · 07/01/2023 13:28

i think it is unreasonable to expect you to take the shitty seats AND the child care.

Mumsnet never fails to deliver … the “shitty seats”… would they be “shitty” if everyone flew them? I doubt it.

it’s always about perception of who has managed to gain a an advantage or benefit over another. Everything has to be split down the middle 50/50 or else a person is a CF. It’s absurd.

Maybe the OP’s DH does a lot for the family in other ways? Perhaps this is the only real way they can actually get off on a holiday together, in which case it’s no real sacrifice to take the childcare for the flight, and perhaps he reciprocated somewhere elsewhere?

This

Jobsfor2023 · 09/01/2023 23:09

I’m just not sure about this. I’m a frequent flyer with work so can go business and agree with many of the comments already made (wouldn’t pay myself unless medical reason). I’ve also inter-railed in Europe (and Asia and the Scot Sleeper). Have you actually been on a sleeper train? I’m wondering how severe your partners MS is?

Littleladygeorge · 09/01/2023 23:17

I’ve got MS. I get that a long haul flight would be uncomfortable, it would for me too. But if he needs the extra comfort and room of Business Class then you all fly Business Class. I’d be really unhappy flying in a better class than my hubby and daughter.

Mamanyt · 09/01/2023 23:51

Why is it not "appropriate?" He has, not one, but TWO medical conditions that would make economy impossible for him. I'm sorry, but this sounds a bit petty. I bet, given the choice, he'd gladly get rid of his fibromyagia and MS, and fly economy with you. Would you gladly TAKE them in order to fly business class? Didn't think so.

RunRunRunSomeMore · 10/01/2023 00:38

This is clearly abusive. Fibromyalgia and MS my arse, he wants you in economy class to demonstrate his superiority over you. And so he can shag the stewardess in the business class loo.

LTB, obviously.