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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About flying business class

263 replies

KittiKati · 07/01/2023 11:18

DH has fibromyalgia & MS. It’s extremely difficult for him to sit in a plane seat for any length of time whether short or long haul.

We were talking about holidays and he suggested he flies business class and me and DS fly economy. I said I didn’t feel that this was appropriate and would rather save up the extra money and we all fly business class.

He seemed genuinely put out by this and is acting like I am being unreasonable? Interested in other peoples opinions please

OP posts:
Autumn61 · 09/01/2023 18:39

Sure save up but you probably won’t get another holiday for a couple of years with the amount of money it will cost! Being a bit petty tbh .

BungleandGeorge · 09/01/2023 18:41

I think it’s fine to say you all need to sit together. Otherwise you’re in the cramped seats and overstuffed departures on your own with a child! Or perhaps he takes the child in business with him?
short haul fine but long haul it’s not unreasonable to expect to stay as a family. If it takes longer to save then it takes longer to save

Cersai · 09/01/2023 18:45

Business class seats in Europe not much difference - middle seat empty, slightly more leg room.

Long haul - makes all the difference because you can sleep , lie down , stretch and some flights have a bar area to hang out . My son and I fly business especially in an overnight flight as my son is difficult to handle for various reasons . Many times my husband has chosen to fly premium economy front row while we are in business. Another time he and my son were in business and I was in Premium Economy. No big deal. I would say if you can’t afford Business - ideally you should all fly together then Premium Economy would be a sweet spot. ( Btw Singapore, virgin and Middle Eastern carriers esp Emirates have amazing PE and with a child you can get first row ones.)

To be clear you can’t drink his drinks or even walk in the business class section . They may allow for few min to meet him during day flights else the section is curtained off.

Climbles · 09/01/2023 18:48

I used to travel business class a lot with my old job. I’d never pay for it. It’s nice but so much more expensive.

Rosie22xx · 09/01/2023 18:49

You'll see each other at the destination. Not a big deal.

Soapnutty · 09/01/2023 18:50

MS or ME? Don't want to sound unsympathetic, but if it's ME, he's being a complete dick, if it's MS, he's just being dick.

@UnicornsHaveDadsToo, I have severe ME and so yes I am touchy on this but I don't like your presumption here that ME affects the body less than MS. Both illnesses can be v debilitating and both have a spectrum of severity. Severe ME would have more disabling symptoms than MS that is on the milder end and whilst the MS is not in relapse. I don't want to make this into an illness Olympics, but I challenge this assumption by some that ME is automatically a less disabling illness than other chronic illnesses. I know of two studies that actually score ME, especially severe, as having one of the lowest quality of life scores amongst many illnesses. I have now been bedridden for many years, so no plane travel for me but those less severely affected air travel can still be v difficult especially the lack of sleep which causes an increase in flu like symptoms and pain and having to be upright for a long time.

Mollymoostoo · 09/01/2023 18:58

Mrsmch123 · 07/01/2023 11:45

😂😂if one goes business class then we would all go. Not a chance would I be sat in economy while my husband was in business! Medical needs or not.

Me too. Business class is a choice not a disability adjustment. And if my hard earned cash is going in the pot, I would want to sit there too.

Cranarc · 09/01/2023 18:58

It's a lot cheaper (or certainly used to be) to buy a row of 3 economy seats than 2 business class. DH and I often do that. Clearly with DS you would need to buy the row of 3 and then another on the aisle next to it, but is that an option?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 09/01/2023 19:01

It sounds like it be worth it for him for long haul but not short haul. Whilst it will be nice for you to go business class too, you will have a lot more money to spend on holidays if you and your child go economy.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 09/01/2023 19:03

Cranarc · 09/01/2023 18:58

It's a lot cheaper (or certainly used to be) to buy a row of 3 economy seats than 2 business class. DH and I often do that. Clearly with DS you would need to buy the row of 3 and then another on the aisle next to it, but is that an option?

With business class you will be able to lie down, two economy seats won’t give you that. Also not sure how you can guarantee an empty seat if there is no one to sit in it, if the airline has oversold tickets. I don’t think it’s a good alternative

HappyNewYear2023 · 09/01/2023 19:13

I dint know if you are being unreasonable because you havent given us enough details nor have you bothered coming back.

HTH

montessorinanny · 09/01/2023 19:14

Perhaps the compromise if it works for your DH is for everyone to do premium economy.

Nocutenamesleft · 09/01/2023 19:15

If you can afford it. Just do all of you.

notimagain · 09/01/2023 19:20

Also not sure how you can guarantee an empty seat if there is no one to sit in it, if the airline has oversold tickets.

FWIW some airlines allow you buy an extra seat - this for example is from BA.com:

"You can buy an extra ticket to keep the seat next to you free, e.g. for additional personal space or to secure a fragile or precious item, such as a musical instrument or painting."

I'm not quite sure what their policy would be with regard to overbooking, but it might get awkward if they try to use it after you have strapped your cello into it.......🙄

OverTheRubicon · 09/01/2023 19:22

I'd be sceptical of someone who can't handle economy class short haul but can mysteriously manage business class long haul - yes it's more spacious, but it's still not perfectly comfortable, and it's a far longer trip.

Also mysterious is why the vast majority of fibro/ME sufferers are women, yet it generally seem to be the male sufferers who require or get the luxury treatment for it 🙄

Gemstar2 · 09/01/2023 19:22

How old is DS? If it’s a case of DH getting 10 hours of sleep while you single-handedly try to entertain an 18 month old on a packed flight then that’s quite different to you and your 7 yo sitting watching films together….but even so, I think I’d just be inclined to believe DH that if he thinks it’s worth paying tons extra for BC then he probably needs it and his daily pain must be pretty miserable…and if you don’t have to save up for 2 more BC seats then you can go on holiday sooner, which is a win!

TerraNostra · 09/01/2023 19:24

dnaconundrum · 07/01/2023 13:13

I don’t see the benefit of business here, sorry. I fly long haul every month and know aircraft like the back of my hand.

We just had an 11 hour flight and my husband had injuries, we asked to be moved to a comfortable position. BA gave us the baby bit where you can put a basket. More leg room than business!

What are you talking about? Long haul business class is completely lie-flat, you can’t do that in the bulkhead economy seat!

Soapnutty · 09/01/2023 19:25

Business class is a choice not a disability adjustment.

I don’t agree. If symptoms mean you can’t sit up for long periods, cramped spaces increase pain severely and/or lack of sleep on a long haul flight increases symptoms then a business class seat which has more space and the opportunity to lie flat and have a greater chance of sleep acts as a disability adjustment.

I do agree with those who say the the attitude of person with the disability to it all will play a part. If they automatically think they are entitled and don’t acknowledge the other parent has the disadvantage of having to look after the children in economy in cramped seats then I can see the other partner might feel less happy that they have to go economy if finances don’t allow for two business class seats. I say this as someone disabled.

Spain1980 · 09/01/2023 19:30

When you fly business class you also have different check-in and access to a longe. All of which makes the flight more comfortable. If your husband flies Business and you go economy. You will effectively be flying as a lone parent. As it is a family holiday I would try to all fly business. Alternatively find out what the airline can offer you in terms of disability assistance. Such as early boarding, wheelchair/ride to the gate etc - and purchase extra legroom seats

Spain1980 · 09/01/2023 19:30

*lounge

SofiaSoFar · 09/01/2023 19:30

@OverTheRubicon

Also mysterious is why the vast majority of fibro/ME sufferers are women, yet it generally seem to be the male sufferers who require or get the luxury treatment for it 🙄

That's an interesting fact.

Soapnutty · 09/01/2023 19:33

OverTheRubicon · 09/01/2023 19:22

I'd be sceptical of someone who can't handle economy class short haul but can mysteriously manage business class long haul - yes it's more spacious, but it's still not perfectly comfortable, and it's a far longer trip.

Also mysterious is why the vast majority of fibro/ME sufferers are women, yet it generally seem to be the male sufferers who require or get the luxury treatment for it 🙄

My mum has ME (l do too but more severely and can’t travel). She can manage short haul flights in economy but for long haul flights (goes to see my brother in Oz) she needs business class as it allows her to get some sleep during the 24 hr trip which means she feels less ill and gets less increase in symptoms for the first few days of the stay. When my dad was alive and they would fly together to Oz, she would have a business class and dad economy due to cost. Their last two trips dad managed to get a 2nd business class seat for only another £200 and their final trip they did decide to pay out for him going business class too. If mum wasn’t fortunate enough to be able to afford business class to Oz she wouldn’t be able to go.

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 09/01/2023 19:35

I agree with you, why shouldn’t you and your son get a treat too? It’s only fair!

Zazazoolly · 09/01/2023 19:39

My goodness, if my DH has MS, even without any other condition, I would’ve been the one to suggest he flew in appropriate comfort. Apart from being more considerate towards his condition, he’ll probably arrive more relaxed and in better shape making fir a better holiday.

Wilmawheelmouth · 09/01/2023 19:43

Please don’t go there. You’ll be setting the precedent forever more. Ask yourself WHY is he put out? Is it the price for two ? If so, save up as you suggested so you can both go. Or, is it because you’ll actually be joining him and he wanted the experience of business class all to himself? Either way for a married couple he is acting weird ! The journey to the holiday destination is included as part of the holiday so you should be together. Why doesn’t he suggest he stays in a five star hotel whilst you stay in a third when you get there. Ffs. Or, even better, you could save up and book yourself into FIRST class travel and wave to him from there to the class below . See how DH likes it.