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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've done everything possible and still aged

298 replies

Cheeeeeeese · 06/01/2023 15:27

I don't drink, never smoked, wear spf50 every day, moisturiser every day, use retinol, tretinoin, and so on. I sleep well 90% of the time, no children etc.
My diet isn't perfect, but this is all I can think of.
Despite this, I've still got crows feet, lines under my eyes and dark circles.
I am only 31 but presume the worst is yet to come. It's frustrating to already feel that I'm looking 'tired' at this age.
I've always looked after my skin well, yet I've still got these signs around my eyes already.

All I can think of is that they don't actually work? I'm using prescription strength products too. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
chrissycn11 · 06/01/2023 22:46

Lots to unpack here.

How long have you been using Tret, how many days per week and what strength?

How often do you apply SPF during a day?

Are you applying enough SPF? I advise doing 2 layers in the morning.

Do you spend a lot of time outdoors?

What colour are your dark circles, brown or purple?

Dark circles can be caused by so many different things, allergies, health issues, thin translucent skin or pigmentation. The cause can be narrowed down by the colour.

Lots of posts giving you incorrect information about Tret, it's the gold standard topical ingredient so long as it's used correctly. It doesn't thin the skin, it increases cell turnover, shedding the dead skin and thickening the fresh skin under it. It takes about a year to show full effect if used 5 or more days per week.

Crows feet are dynamic wrinkles caused by movement, if this really bothers you could look into microcurrent treatments to relax the muscle. For muscle relaxation you could do home treatments with a Myolift Mini or see a professional.

People have suggested LED masks, LED is a fantastic treatment to boost collagen and elastin. However, I would advise you to get a small table top panel instead.
It's both cheaper and more effective, plus it can treat a much larger area than a mask and it can be used on the body for pain or skin rejuvenation. It can even be used on the scalp to help with hair growth, Helios is my recommendation for a panel in the UK, Mito for those in the US.

ily0 · 06/01/2023 23:07

If this photo doesn’t tell you sun damage is THE most important thing I don’t know what will:

metro.co.uk/2022/09/05/womans-picture-is-a-stark-reminder-to-apply-sun-cream-to-your-neck-17302247/

Woman who is 92, applied SPF moisturiser to her face, didn’t apply to her neck, skin in face is in hugely better condition than face.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 06/01/2023 23:42

ReneBumsWombats · 06/01/2023 22:34

And ironically, that is incredibly bad for your skin and youthful looks.

It is terrible I agree Grin

Ididnthityouharold · 06/01/2023 23:44

Is there anyone on this thread who doesn't apparently look way younger than their age? Anyone?!

KarmaStar · 06/01/2023 23:49

It's what's inside that ages us imho.
Holding on to negative emotions,bitterness,blame,hatred,anger,jealousy,vanity,pride.....
Let it go and feel free.a genuine smile that lights up the face sparkling eyes,that's eternal youth right there.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 06/01/2023 23:49

@Ididnthityouharold I don't. Never have done. I was the 16 year old chosen to go in the offie, the one time I posted a photo of myself on here my age was guessed at 40 - I was 32!

I'm fine with it <shrug> I'm lucky to have the opportunity to age. I'm 40 now and I look 40. There's no shame in that.

Ididnthityouharold · 07/01/2023 07:01

Thanks for actually being honest! There's no shame indeed.

Benjispruce4 · 07/01/2023 08:48

I’ve won idea . I’m 51. I don’t think I look older but probably about my age. Up until 45 I would get the occasional surprise at my age and people said I looked younger but not anymore. I’ve always moisturised, with spf included since late teens. I avoid sunbathing but did use the odd sun Ed when I was 21/22 when they were thought to be safe because you didn’t burn!
I’ve never smoked, do drink but not lots and I eat healthily, never been overweight.
When you get to 50, it’s no so much wrinkles but your face starts to drop. I think looking young is more about an attitude, dress sense etc.

Benjispruce4 · 07/01/2023 08:55

I’ve no idea , that should read.

Benjispruce4 · 07/01/2023 09:03

My MIL is 74. She’s never been one for creams and makeup. Still not all grey. She looks younger. Her son, my husband is the same. Baby faced in his 20s , now 50 he looks 40. All his hair, no greys. Genetics is the main thing, followed by protection from the sun and lifestyle factors. I bet if we didn’t dry our skin by washing and showering and scrubbing it, it would settle and moisturise itself.

SnitterBug · 07/01/2023 09:19

Sun bathing causes wrinkles . Sagging skin is inevitable . Just look the best you can . Can't stop the aging process I'm afraid. I think it starts about 25 .

ily0 · 07/01/2023 10:21

SnitterBug · 07/01/2023 09:19

Sun bathing causes wrinkles . Sagging skin is inevitable . Just look the best you can . Can't stop the aging process I'm afraid. I think it starts about 25 .

Sagging skin is also caused by sun damage as it’s called by loss of collagen

Grapewrath · 07/01/2023 20:19

OP aging is a normal process based on many, many factors. Those who feel genetically blessed probably look at their older relatives with admiration and therefore may not see them through the same non biased lens as the rest of us. Many people who believe they look years younger actually don’t tbh, they probably look great but age comes to us all and very few people look ‘years’ younger than their age naturally. I get told I look younger than I am but I’m very aware that I don’t and that people are very kind!
The dark circles may be allergies. Congestion caused dilation in the veins and therefore exacerbates and purple/blue colour. If it’s more yellow/brown then get your iron levels checked.
I bet you look great- enjoy looking as young as you ever will!

Cosmos123 · 07/01/2023 20:34

Be happy with your face and skin.

Aging is a natural process.

Embrace it.
Accept yourself hold your head up high and be proud.

Admire your achievements and the love of family and friends.
Respect your healthy body for keeping you alive.

Life is too too short.

Cosmos123 · 07/01/2023 20:39

There's something beautiful about a person who's just themselves and comfortable in their own skin.
Natural confident beauty.

Toocooltoboogie · 07/01/2023 21:39

I think it's mostly down to genetics. My Mum had a pretty awful lifestyle and her health isn't great unfortunately but she has beautiful skin in her 70s. My skin is shaping up pretty well in my 40s and I don't have wrinkles but I've also inherited other things I wish I hadn't!

Cosmos123 · 07/01/2023 22:06

I want to look my age.

I have been young.

Now I am the age I am and pleased this face and body has got me here.

I don't want attention.

I have been told I am attractive and would be more so if I let my hair down. Thought that was a tad rude as I like my face.

But I really don't care. I love myself and all my friends and family.

I like my free dress style too.

Honestly embrace it and be free.

Notimeforaname · 07/01/2023 22:27

Genetics.

I smoke, so does my mam and she looks great I'm 35 and got ID'd in Tesco's yesterday, the lady said she didn't even believe I was 25. I dont use any face creams and sleep with my make up on a lot😳 it's a lottery really.

FixundFoxi · 08/01/2023 10:53

@Notimeforaname You might look great on the outside but the smoking will be doing damage on the inside to lungs, blood vessels etc 🙄

2023and33 · 09/01/2023 01:51

Just had a slightly change of heart - I think Shirley Henderson aka Moaning Myrtle could definitely be mistaken for 10-15 years younger than she is.

Kitkatcatflap · 09/01/2023 02:02

I bet you have one of those magnifying mirrors - get a normal one and I bet you're a knockout

PlinkPlonkFizz · 09/01/2023 02:04

You sound overly fixated on your "flaws". When my MH is a bit low, I tend to do the same. At age 31 you are so young. Maybe look for some MH support?

Flannan · 09/01/2023 02:21

I love MN. OP, I'm 76 and yesterday got asked for id to buy mouthwash. I probably look 24 on a good day. I don't do anything to my skin except scour it with carbolic soap and then slide a slice of bacon over my face.

As pp said - it's genetic. My mum is 103 and looks 9.

Seriously though, factor 50 every day?? 50?

Crackof · 09/01/2023 02:26

Aging is nice. You give fewer fucks.
31 is young btw.

Rebel2023 · 09/01/2023 02:33

Flannan · 09/01/2023 02:21

I love MN. OP, I'm 76 and yesterday got asked for id to buy mouthwash. I probably look 24 on a good day. I don't do anything to my skin except scour it with carbolic soap and then slide a slice of bacon over my face.

As pp said - it's genetic. My mum is 103 and looks 9.

Seriously though, factor 50 every day?? 50?

I wear it daily because I use tretinoin and also my mum had skin cancer
Incredibly pale (even without using SPF!) so I really need it even when other people don't burn, I do
The only time not used is if I'm staying in all day or say going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark (work has no outside windows where I sit)