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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my mum’s attitude to the NHS?

321 replies

Beautifulblues · 06/01/2023 11:39

She’s turning 64 this year and so has benefited from the NHS all of her life.

She came from a fairly poor background, council house, working class, she had to leave school at 16 to get a job as they needed to contribute to the household. She shared a bedroom with her siblings until she was 14, very little in the way of luxuries.

Despite all of that she’s now a staunch conservative and she has said several times recently that she believes the NHS is no longer fit for purpose and we should be looking towards a health insurance system like other countries (she referenced France here but I have no idea of their healthcare system). I’m feeling very angry about it…she’s benefitted this long but doesn’t want me or her 4 year old grandson to benefit from the wonderful NHS as he gets older.

OP posts:
ILoveeCakes · 06/01/2023 11:42

The NHS is a greedy mess. They have spent years cutting beds while sucking in more and more money - and pocketing it themselves, spending it on non-jobs and lovely days out on "training courses".

They need calling out and a good shake up - not worship and all the treading on eggshells that goes on around them.

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/01/2023 11:43

ILoveeCakes · 06/01/2023 11:42

The NHS is a greedy mess. They have spent years cutting beds while sucking in more and more money - and pocketing it themselves, spending it on non-jobs and lovely days out on "training courses".

They need calling out and a good shake up - not worship and all the treading on eggshells that goes on around them.

The NHS is not doing that. The present government maybe.

Phos · 06/01/2023 11:44

YABU. She's entitled to an opinion whether you agree with it or not.

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/01/2023 11:44

The NHS is pocketing money 'themselves'? Who is pocketing this money? Nurses? I don't think so.

EVHead · 06/01/2023 11:46

We need to discuss options for the NHS, including looking at how other countries do it.

It’s not fit for purpose at the moment. We need to be able to discuss alternatives.

Your mum isn’t suggesting scrapping the NHS. She’s suggesting a model you don’t know anything about. Learn about it!

YABU.

SleeplessInEngland · 06/01/2023 11:46

ILoveeCakes · 06/01/2023 11:42

The NHS is a greedy mess. They have spent years cutting beds while sucking in more and more money - and pocketing it themselves, spending it on non-jobs and lovely days out on "training courses".

They need calling out and a good shake up - not worship and all the treading on eggshells that goes on around them.

Having to deal with an ageing population doesn't make it greedy. No-one who wants to make lots of money works for the NHS, even the consultants.

SlagathaChristie · 06/01/2023 11:47

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/01/2023 11:44

The NHS is pocketing money 'themselves'? Who is pocketing this money? Nurses? I don't think so.

Not nurses, but possibly the "Directors of Lived Experience" on £110,000pa....

@op Whatever your thoughts on the NHS are, you are entitled to them. Your mother is entitled to hers. You don't get to stamp your feet and demand that mummy agree with you all the time, she's her own person. I thought people stopped doing that after their teen years?

Stuffin · 06/01/2023 11:48

Umm but the NHS is funded through taxes, it might be free at the point of use but it isn't free so I don't actually think the argument that she benefited but you won't is correct unless you don't pay tax and never plan to.

I think it isn't fit for purpose and would like to see an independent (non political) group look at reforming it.

PuggyMum · 06/01/2023 11:49

It's all the non jobs and freeloaders sucking up the money.
My friend works in recruitment. If you're a manager on 60k in Trust A and there's the same job in Trust B - her company will put you forward and if you get the job they get a percent of the salary as a fee.
And of course negotiate a higher salary - some people do this every couple of years or so.
The money they make have over fist is eye watering.

Facecream · 06/01/2023 11:49

There are many flaws with the NHS. Many.
The legal bills for the defence of medical negligence and/or abuse is shocking.
The management structure is shocking.
There is so much waste from things I see my DD use - one use tubing and special medical food sent in bulk to trial and dumped if not suitable.

ILoveeCakes · 06/01/2023 11:50

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/01/2023 11:44

The NHS is pocketing money 'themselves'? Who is pocketing this money? Nurses? I don't think so.

What a low effort and completely blind response.

If you aren't aware of any NHS waste or well paid non-jobs then you shouldn't be commenting at all. Also, nurses are on pretty good money after a few years and there seem to be a lot of cushy numbers for them now away from patients - they aren't all running around the wards getting hands on - not by a long way.

Hopingforno2in2023 · 06/01/2023 11:51

I am a previous massive supporter of the NHS and someone who used to work in it and who has massive respect for the idea and the staff who work in it. It is no longer working and we need to look at other options.

PuggyMum · 06/01/2023 11:51

When MIL used to work there they had to make all purchases through a portal. A pack of whiteboard pens was £30 but £10 on Amazon. I don't know if that's still the case but it used to really annoy her how they paid through the nose for stuff.

TempsPerdu · 06/01/2023 11:52

YANBU - my elderly mum has a very similar attitude. She’s a Tory voter and avid Daily Mail reader (often regurgitates chunks of it verbatim).

She recently needed to contact her GP (gastric upset possibly caused by some new medication) and found it was closed for the Christmas break. Answerphone redirected her to 111, where she found herself number 94 in the queue, then number 112 the next time she tried - hung up and still hasn’t been treated for her issue.

As a result of this she now blames doctors and the striking nurses/paramedics for all the NHS’ problems. Says they ‘should all be sacked’ and new people brought in (no idea where she thinks these new workers are coming from as she also voted for Brexit and favours ending all inward immigration). Any challenge to this viewpoint and she argues that she has ‘paid into the system’ throughout her life and is now owed all the care she needs.

I get her frustration, and I’m certainly not someone who sees the NHS as a sacred cow or who would ever place it on a pedestal - it definitely needs root and branch reform as well as increased funding - but years of Daily Mail brainwashing means she’s incapable of seeing what has caused the NHS to end up in this state, and the lashing out at doctors/nurses/immigrants is infuriating.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 06/01/2023 11:52

ILoveeCakes · 06/01/2023 11:42

The NHS is a greedy mess. They have spent years cutting beds while sucking in more and more money - and pocketing it themselves, spending it on non-jobs and lovely days out on "training courses".

They need calling out and a good shake up - not worship and all the treading on eggshells that goes on around them.

Training is absolutely not required. We all know what to do and keep current by osmosis. Kind of like being attached to the Borg.

FFS. HmmHmmHmm

RunnerBum · 06/01/2023 11:52

YABU

I’m not conservative but the NHS isn’t fit for purpose and we do need a different system. Tell more more about this French system that you’re so against?

SlagathaChristie · 06/01/2023 11:53

PuggyMum · 06/01/2023 11:51

When MIL used to work there they had to make all purchases through a portal. A pack of whiteboard pens was £30 but £10 on Amazon. I don't know if that's still the case but it used to really annoy her how they paid through the nose for stuff.

Universities are the same. There is a lot of bloat and waste in the public sector in general, unfortunately.

MissyB1 · 06/01/2023 11:53

Well it’s a national conversation that probably needs to take place at some point. But in my opinion it’s absolutely imperative that any move towards a European type model would need to be overseen by a committee made up of representatives from each political party, plus senior officials from the NHS, and clinicians currently working in the NHS.
Any such massive change to our healthcare system should never be trusted to any one political party.

Having said that the current privatisation by the back door that is currently taking place makes me sick with anger 😡

Mamamia7962 · 06/01/2023 11:53

I agree get rid of the non-jobs and employ more nurses and front line staff

SusiePevensie · 06/01/2023 11:55

The irony here is that the NHS has fewer managers and penpushers than comparable systems - it could probably do with a few more. And people here use A&E less than in comparable systems. It was a pretty decent healthcare system under Labour.

GentlyBen · 06/01/2023 11:55

SlagathaChristie · 06/01/2023 11:53

Universities are the same. There is a lot of bloat and waste in the public sector in general, unfortunately.

Show quote history

Universities aren’t in the public sector in the UK but, regardless, yes, it’s an issue in both the NHS and universities because they sign contracts with consortiums. It’s ridiculous. When I was at university I managed the SU nightclub. We’d have to pay more for wholesale drinks than they sold more in Tesco.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 06/01/2023 11:57

PuggyMum · 06/01/2023 11:51

When MIL used to work there they had to make all purchases through a portal. A pack of whiteboard pens was £30 but £10 on Amazon. I don't know if that's still the case but it used to really annoy her how they paid through the nose for stuff.

We can order stuff from Amazon. Have been able to for years. There's a tension between central procurement (ref. Carter report) which should be able to realise savings but there are risks associated with using a single supplier, and local intelligent purchasing which could result in duplication, waste and poor choices. Sorting it out would require investment...

PuggyMum · 06/01/2023 11:57

Not to mention PFI. Trusts having to rent back their own buildings that were sold for peanuts.

A lot of people have made a lot of money from the NHS and stripped it bare.

It's heartbreaking.

Viviennemary · 06/01/2023 11:57

It's a disgrace and has been for a very long time. I agree we should look at other countries and see how they manage.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 06/01/2023 11:57

MissyB1 · 06/01/2023 11:53

Well it’s a national conversation that probably needs to take place at some point. But in my opinion it’s absolutely imperative that any move towards a European type model would need to be overseen by a committee made up of representatives from each political party, plus senior officials from the NHS, and clinicians currently working in the NHS.
Any such massive change to our healthcare system should never be trusted to any one political party.

Having said that the current privatisation by the back door that is currently taking place makes me sick with anger 😡

This.