To give a cash reward to the twin who gets the best GCSE results?

[Stackss]

DS and DD are both in year 11 so have their GCSEs coming up shortly. Both are bright and of very similar if not identical academic ability and are predicted very similar grades.

Both are relatively hard working (although with a tendency to coast) but DH and I would really like them to knuckle down and push themselves to get the best grades possible.

We therefore came up with the idea of an effort-based reward scheme allowing them to earn treats for completing revision- e.g. 75 hours= a meal out, 150 hours= a night away etc.

However, both twins have suggested that instead, the twin who gets the best results should receive the whole cash reward. They are both competitive with each other and have said this would give them greater incentive to work harder.

My concern is that the twin who doesn't do as well will be doubly disappointed on results day as they will also get no reward. Should I go with the twins' suggestion?

That should have been A*. I forgot the formatting would do that!

Absolutely no way would I be doing that. I’d be giving them both a reward if they had worked hard, regardless of their grades.

I’d probably go with a combo of results and effort - not necessarily 9’s unless that’s what’s expected. But staying on track/improving their results from previous years and a bucket load of effort = they’ll get some cash/driving lessons or something.

"Well done, you tried hard and got better" is praising them for effort that led to results.

Saying "Effort that doesn’t translate to results is worthless", although I don't 100% agree with the sentiment, doesn't say anything about level of achievement compared to others and doesn't apply any differently to academic or nonacademic children. Putting in effort to take your grade up from a 6 to a 9 is worthwhile, as is putting in effort to take it from a 1 to a 4, or putting in effort to gain an ASDAN CoPE.

What an incredible way to fuck up your children, make sure you don't burn them out before their GCSEs are even here OP.

Agree with everyone else - terrible idea. Though I've never been one for cash rewards for results. If you work hard and do well, that's the reward. If you don't I am looking at you, DD then you don't.

You can do whatever you like but it’s not how I parent my kids

I want them to be high achieving in school, work and life - all this “prizes for coming last” approach is bullshit

I've read some really crap ideas on here but this is just the crappiest by far

WTF? Why would you want to do this to your children? You'd be setting them up for a lifetime of issues. It's a no from me!

It's a terrible idea. GCSEs are their own reward you shouldn't resort to bribery.

I think this is a terrible idea. I get they are competitive but the 'looser' will feel this for a very long time, if not forever. If I were in your shoes I would be celebrating their successes and the effort they put in, not play them against each other.

75hours a meal out! My kids would rather pay for the meal themselves..

Terrible Idea! My older sibling got money according to her GCSE grades. Much more academic than me! I tried just as hard and didn't get anywhere near the grades she did. My parents gave us the same amount of money.

Surely the 'reward' for doing your best to get the grades needed for whatever the next stage of life is (college, apprenticeship, whatever) is...er.... getting the grades you need?
Want to do an apprenticeship? Need certain grades to do it? Get those grades and get accepted for the apprenticeship - that's the reward !
(Or a place in 6th form or at college or whatever they want to do next)

Ask each of them, separately, how they will feel if they are the loser in this competition. Especially if they really have worked their socks off and it is down to something outside their control, like your daughter getting a period or your son having a headache.

This is definitely a wind up. Nobody can be this awful a parent.

oh dear God! Really? you cant see why this is a seriously awful idea? you come across as horrible competitive parents. will you do the same for a levels, for a degree? I cant remember what results my kids got at gcse. they worked as hard as they could and they were all individually happy with their acheivements so on that basis so was I. How do you think the one who loses is going to feel? that sense of failure is going to carry on throughout their life isnt. every family argument or teasing is always going to have this element in it. Encourage your kids to work hard and achieve for their sake. help them to realise that qualifications are just keys to open other doors.

This. Both suggestions are awful, but pitting siblings against each other for cash is particularly grim. If it really was the kids who came up with that I'd be a bit concerned to be honest. There's normal sibling rivalry, then there's an unhealthy level of competition that breeds resentment.

Just encourage them both to do their best and treat them both to something nice once the exams are over.

It’s not equally bad. It’s a compromise between the twins’ extreme suggestion of “winner takes all” or not still receiving any achievement based reward. This way both will receive similar amounts even if grades vary. I’ve just helped my ds through Y11 and didn’t pay for his grades, just encouraged him and supported him. The compromise I suggest is specifically for these twins who want something like this. Not all kids.

What a cunty thing to do to your kids. Kids are kids for a reason - they don't always understand the fallout (emotional or otherwise) from certain actions. You can work incredibly hard and still bomb out on the day FYI.

Creative effort. I don't know how people think these up sometimes. Wonder what the Daily Fail will think?

Absolutely.

Divide and conquer, OP.

See if you can engineer a full-on Harry and William situation. Twins can be so annoying with their closeness, an' all.

That's a horrible idea. If you are giving money pay per grade, so they both have an equal chance of gaining the same amount.

The exam results are their own reward.