Do you Drive?

[Aquarius1234]

AIBU to be annoyed when a random stranger asks this question??
Wtf.

People get het up about the weirdest things 😆

No wonder people don’t have friends - I asked this of someone recently because I know they don’t have a car. As it happens she drives but her husband doesn’t. She didn’t seem annoyed at the question.

I might ask a very young person ie a 17 year old and add ‘yet?’.

You need to add context, OP.

But do you drive though?

Why isn't the question "CAN you drive?"

Do you drive?
Is on a par with ..
What do you do?

I get more annoyed when people assume everyone does.

I opened this thinking we were going to have a thread about driving. I was coming on to say yes and talk about it. I'd assume anyone asked that question because they wanted to talk about cars/driving or they were making idle chit chat and were looking for common ground.

Yanbu. Run the fuckers over. "Drive that, loser."

Odd question- would never be 'offended' though! Just a fact so I would say yes I do- do you?

Do you vs can you isn't all that relevant though, i would have learned if it was in any way affordable, it never was for me. IMO it's not something to judge someone about, unless they're looking for lifts etc. If someone doesn't drive but gets around umder their own steam, it's nobody elses business (and better for the environment bla bla)

I can't spell on MN morto

I only ever got asked this when I lived in London, because it was quite usual not to drive in the inner city and just 100% public transport everywhere. So if I was ever talking about going anywhere other than London "do you drive?" was very commonly asked.

No idea why it would anger you, it's just small talk.

I take it you don’t drive, OP?

That’s funny. It’s about a 40/60 split of drivers and non drivers amongst the over 25s I know. 17-25s, I can’t think of any that drive.

It took me many years to have enough spare money to learn to drive and then even more before I could afford a car. It’s not exactly easy to get lessons and tests through a pandemic either.

Are you a cyclist who completely ignored the road rules, nearly caused an accident, scared some poor driver then got into a heated argument where you tried to blame them? And they asked you: ‘do you drive?’ Is that why you’re angry?

Or do you not drive and you think that the person asking you is trying to devalue you or judge you harshly?

Or you can’t afford a car right now and you feel like they are looking down on you for your financial situation?

Or you have a medical condition that prevents you from driving and you don’t want to talk about it or feel like you have to justify yourself?

Or you think that they think that you are too stupid to know how to drive?

Or you think that they are a CF angling for a lift that you don’t want to commit to?

Or…?

Oops

Online dating sites for context. ( no idea why I bother) It's the shittest question ever and offensive even. Yes I can drive, what's your point? Ps no I won't drive far if that's what your thinking!!

Since your update that it’s do with OLD I think you’re even more unreasonable. Of course it’s a valid question.

It sometimes seems like a trick question.
Never heard of trains these people!
Or is their small talk so bad ..

Good effort 👌

Sorry - how is it possibly a ‘trick’ question? You either do or you don’t.

I always ask it when online dating. I would hate to date someone who couldn’t drive. It means I have to drive to busy places with no parking or there can’t be any spontaneity or I end up being a taxi to someone who has no clue about the cost of fuel

I can drive - so answer to that would always be yes - but have had long periods in my life where I didn't drive - so answer then would be no.

The difference between the two variants - do you versus can you - is the crucial nuance, as is the motivation for choosing one to ask one instead of the other.

But do you always get asked the same question?
As though they are judging you, or thinking ahead. I mean you could drive but prefer trains anyhow.

Can you may be seen as less threatening small talk.