To wonder when DD will ever be dry at night

[Ilovechocolate87]

DD is 5, 6 in March.She was fully toilet trained in the day by rising 3 (after many false starts and challenges along the way) but is still in pull ups at night.
I spoke to the H/V about a year or so ago, who said it isn't something that can be control, is down to hormones etc, and she will grow out of it in time.
But I'm wondering when that will ever happen....her pullup is soaking full nearly every single morning, and also she is often weeing in it as soon as it goes on at night.She says she 'forgets' but whilst I never tell her off for wetting during the night as I know she doesn't realise, I do get frustrated with her sometimes for this because she is fully awake playing and I'm not sure if it's just laziness because she can't be bothered to go to the toilet, and knows the pull up will catch the wee or else I'm wondering if the sensation of the pull up going on somehow tells her brain to wet herself and it is genuinely an accident?
Money is tight as it is for many at the moment, and spending £20ish a month just on huggies pyjama pants is really something we could do without....
Does anyone know of any cheaper alternatives? The reusable ones just seem extortionate for only one!
Or do I bite the bullet and just leave her with nothing on incase the comfort and security of the pull-up is the problem and maybe it might 'train' her body.I tried a couple of times a couple of years ago but felt awful as she was waking up lying in urine, then it took forever stripping the bed, bathing her etc and I'm wondering how I would manage that on school/work mornings (also have 1yo to get sorted)
I definitely don't want to withold drink if she is thirsty, but she often has the bulk of her drink late afternoon/early evening so unsure if that isn't helping.
What do people recommend? I don't know what the answer is...

Try not to get caught up with this, it will click when the hormone kicks in, you can't train or force it and you'll cause your daughter stress if you try and force this before she's biologically ready.

My son was dry through the day and night at 2, but then my step son was almost 7 no amount of waking him for wee etc helped, but when it clicked it clicked. I think it's advised if it goes beyond 7 to seek medical advice incase there's an issue but perfectly normal af your daughter's age!

It was the same for us. We tried without the pull ups every 6 months or so, and it never worked until once, when she had just turned 10, it did. My DD is a very heavy sleeper and I was really reluctant to do the training with the alarm as it just teaches them to wake up more, as far as I could see. I didn't want to mess with her sleep, I'm glad we just let her be until her body was physiologically ready for her to go abholen night asleep without weeing. The worst bit of the whole thing for us was making sure the judgier end of the family never found out - appreciate the cost of the pull ups can also be an issue though.

Oh yes hiding the pull ups really well when friends came for tea. Forgot that but!
it feels like they’ll never get it but they do in the end. It’s really common. Try to accept that and it’s a lot easier to deal with.

@biscuitbadger sorry it's been like this but how many adults don't manage it?. Pretty much none. Your daughter will get there in her own sweet time.

My friends dd was the same. Apparently friends sil was 16 before she was fully dry at night.
Your gp will discuss enuresis clinics with you.

My son was five and a bit and still in pull-ups at night.
Sat him down one day and had a chat, he confessed he did wake up when he needed a wee but was too warm and cosy to get out of bed and he knew the pull-ups would catch it all.
Took the pull ups away and he knew he had to get up after that!
( of course do the loo visit before bed).

Actually about 1 or 2 in every hundred otherwise healthy adults don’t outgrow bedwetting.

This explains why adult pull-ups can now be bought in every supermarket too.

I’ve read occasional articles about it that pop up in the press and it’s like a massive taboo.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/18/what-im-really-thinking-the-adult-bed-wetter

From my own experience of DD8 who was a nightly bed wetter but who has gone down to one or two wet nights a week I can offer the following from my GP (from an earlier thread on the topic):

“She advised me to do the following:

Ensure that DD has plenty of water to drink during the day AND in the evening in order to stretch the bladder. As she’s wearing pull-ups anyway there’s no reason to restrict drinks in the evening. More water at all times will stretch the bladder more quickly.

Avoid caffeinated, fizzy or artificially sweetened drinks as this can irritate the bladder and won’t help it stretch.

Talk to DD about the issue gently and ask her if she wants to try wearing ordinary pants at night, but not to push it if the idea makes her nervous.

Keep using the pull-ups to keep her dry and comfortable, unless she actively wants to try without.

Try to find out (tactfully) if she’s using them for convenience. A very very small number of children do this, but most are not lazy and would want to get up and use the toilet.

She also said that bed wetting alarms are available but that she doesn’t favour them as they often cause stress to the child and the family, disrupt sleep and aren’t always effective, but that medical opinion is divided on that.

Going forward, she said to try all of the above, especially drinking lots to stretch the bladder.

She said if it hadn’t stopped in the next six months, get back in touch and she will arrange some tests to rule out any problems.

She said that in the vast majority of cases where a child is still wetting the bed aged 7, it will just stop on its own before they finish primary school.”

I can also add that FruitShoots are evil at any time of the day or night.

DD was day trained around 2 and normally never had daytime accidents from
that age, but if someone gave her a FruitShoot she would wet like a baby even at age 5 (much to her distress).

Thanks very much for the wealth of useful ideas and experiences! Its interesting to hear your similar stories.

Really pleased to hear about the Aldi pyjama pants, as DD grew out of the largest size 6/7 'pull ups' a while ago now, they were too narrow to fit her bottom properly! And hadn't found any pyjama pants anywhere other than huggies so far.

For those asking about her wearing it before bed, she is only having it put on when getting changed ready for bed, but the trouble is that there is sometimes awhile between doing her bedtime routine and her actually falling asleep, where she is playing/reading quietly in her room/bed, and thats when she wees in it.

Whilst i definitely don't want to refuse her a drink if she is thirsty and asks for one, I will try doing what some posters suggested about spacing the drinks out and giving her more fluid earlier.She doesn't have squash at bedtime but does have alot around teatime, so may replace this with milk.

DS age 4 is wearing pull ups at night and I'm also convinced that he wees in them while falling asleep at night/while playing in the morning before getting dressed!

DH is insistent on getting him into pull ups instead of nappies but it doesn't make any difference. I think if you want to find out if she's still weeing in her sleep, you'll just need to trial no nappy at night. Make sure she has a waterproof mattress protector on just in case, maybe double-sheet the bed with the protector in between, but that should eliminate the doubt as either she is still weeing in her sleep in which case she'll wet the bed, not the end of the world, reassure, change bed and back into nappies. Or she is weeing before/after sleep and hopefully not having the nappy on will cause her to recognise that she needs to wee and go to the toilet instead. You will probably need to be willing to go and help her to the toilet in the night and early morning.

Drinks apparently don't make any difference unless she's having something really diuretic like caffeine or alcohol (hopefully not!!). This includes coke, though. There's no reason to restrict liquids like water. If the hormone is there that suppresses urine production during sleep then she should be fine to go the whole night with normal drinking.

I had one genuine bed wetter and one lazy child. The lazy one we stopped with pull ups as he was peeing on them when awake. We tripled made the bed so waterproof sheet then normal sheet then another waterproof sheet and so on with bed mat on top. So you just whip off a later and chuck in the bath to deal with in morning. Quick wash down in the bath with some warm water so it isn't overly nice but not awful in morning.
He stopped within two weeks.

Really happy I found this thread. Lots of good advice on here as I am also really struggling with my DS

It’s more common than people think and attitudes have changed quite quickly.

I know people who were bedwetters before age-appropriate pull-ups were available.

They still wet the bed then, not because of laziness but because they couldn’t help it.

Previous generations had to make do with rubber sheets or plus-sized nappies and parental attitudes that varied from ignoring the problem, embarrassment, fretting that there was a medical problem all the way through to punishing the child.

By all means try without pull ups for a night or two to see if it works, but if the child is still wet without the pull up, they’re clearly not ready and need the protection.

Fortunately DD8 seems to be coming towards the end of her bed wetting days, and I did wonder whether I should have done something earlier, but the pull-ups have meant that she has stayed dry and comfortable and retained her self esteem as well as a good night’s sleep.

The fact that they can be bought in every supermarket now for kids up to 15 means there is a need for them, but that’s not to say you shouldn’t try different options to see if they work to stop it.

My advice would be to try different things, but if they are not working, don’t make your child sleep in a wet bed night after night. Get the pull ups back on and try again or try something different a few months later.

DS was like this until he was 7. He would sleep through any bedwetting and would just end up soaked while still asleep if we left the pull ups off. We tried an alarm which I was really sceptical about but after 2 days of broken sleep he started to improve and after 5 days he was completely dry. It was like waving a magic wand. He's 14 now and hasn't wet the bed since. I know they don't work for everyone but it definitely did for us.

Do you not lift her? We used to put to bed after a wee, let them go to sleep then left about 11 and they would wee again then sleep through. No need for expensive pull ups and waste then

It is very common and at least one in ten six year olds and one in twenty 10 year olds ( so 1-2 per class)wet the bed. The vast majority just grow out of it and imo for that reason I wouldn't do anything to make a child feel stressed or self conscious. Nothing wrong with drinking plenty and putting double sheets on the bed but now that pull ups are available I would just let nature take its course. One of my DC was 5 before they were reliably dry at night and I did suspect that they might have been dry a few months earlier and the other two DC were 20. All were dry at average age during the day and had no other problems. Late night dryness often runs in families .

We have tried lifting but she doesn't wake up enough to register what's going on.I wonder if that's maybe why she is wetting herself in the first place, she is in such a deep sleep and so doesn't wake when she needs to wee

Ds was 8 before dry at night. Its a hormonal issue. We were prescribed Desmomelt and he quite quickly became dry at night.

Just to update- we tried a week of no pullups to see if she was using them as a 'crutch' and only weeing in them whilst awake/dosey, but whilst the initial few nights she was dry all night (strangely that also happened last time we tried it) after that we had multiple nights where she wet herself and called out in the middle of the night awhile afterwards and then had the upheaval of having the disturbance of getting up to be cleaned up and changed,whilst I sorted out all the wet bedding and pyjamas.
It was difficult for me too considering I'm already up every 1-2hrs at the moment feeding baby, although of course I was totally understanding as it isn't DD's fault!

We had tried lifting (but she didn't wake up enough to register what was going on) limiting her drinks an hour before bed, and making sure she weed as close to sleep time as possible, but it's clear she just isn't ready yet.

The recommendation for the ALDI pyjama pants has been SO handy though, as we are now buying them instead of the huggies ones,and it's saving us lots of money.

Will see how she goes and if she is still wet every night by 6-7 we will maybe speak to the doctor.

Thanks again everyone!

@Mummyof287 I'm also in the same position with my dd7, I bought some reusable pull ups from cheeky wipes website, washed them all as per the instructions, then realised they were too small for dd 🙈 if you are happy to cover postage, I'm happy to send them to you. They cost a fair bit but were never even used, but because I'd washed them I obviously couldn't return them. It's the red ones with the inserts I bought. Have a look and message me if you'd like them.

My 9 yr old DS has this issue yet my 7yr old DD has been dry at night since she was dry in the day years ago. Our health advisor suggested keeping the day pants on under the pullups, so their pants still get wet so they can feel it but it keeps the bed dry.