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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder when DD will ever be dry at night

95 replies

Ilovechocolate87 · 05/01/2023 21:07

DD is 5, 6 in March.She was fully toilet trained in the day by rising 3 (after many false starts and challenges along the way) but is still in pull ups at night.
I spoke to the H/V about a year or so ago, who said it isn't something that can be control, is down to hormones etc, and she will grow out of it in time.
But I'm wondering when that will ever happen....her pullup is soaking full nearly every single morning, and also she is often weeing in it as soon as it goes on at night.She says she 'forgets' but whilst I never tell her off for wetting during the night as I know she doesn't realise, I do get frustrated with her sometimes for this because she is fully awake playing and I'm not sure if it's just laziness because she can't be bothered to go to the toilet, and knows the pull up will catch the wee or else I'm wondering if the sensation of the pull up going on somehow tells her brain to wet herself and it is genuinely an accident?
Money is tight as it is for many at the moment, and spending £20ish a month just on huggies pyjama pants is really something we could do without....
Does anyone know of any cheaper alternatives? The reusable ones just seem extortionate for only one!
Or do I bite the bullet and just leave her with nothing on incase the comfort and security of the pull-up is the problem and maybe it might 'train' her body.I tried a couple of times a couple of years ago but felt awful as she was waking up lying in urine, then it took forever stripping the bed, bathing her etc and I'm wondering how I would manage that on school/work mornings (also have 1yo to get sorted)
I definitely don't want to withold drink if she is thirsty, but she often has the bulk of her drink late afternoon/early evening so unsure if that isn't helping.
What do people recommend? I don't know what the answer is...

OP posts:
LittleDonkeyKong · 05/01/2023 22:57

My Dd is 12 and on medication for bed wetting. She has never been dry on a night. Had bloods and consultation with paediatrics but nothing medically wrong.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/01/2023 22:58

Was going to recommend Lidl or Aldi pull ups as a cheaper option

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/01/2023 23:00

Our son was dry at 4. Our daughter was too but then regressed at 5 until around 7. They’re individuals, goes with the territory (medical issues notwithstanding)

Themind · 05/01/2023 23:02

Night time pants from qldi are half the price, think theyre about 4 quid a pack for 15 of them.
My son pees like a river and they hold it all night, he is six. Please don't worry 1 in 5 kids aren't dry at that age.

pastypirate · 05/01/2023 23:07

The first thing enuresis clinic will want to rule out is constipation. Constipation pouts pressure on the bladder and causes bed wetting. If this was my child I'd be noticing if she's having a bowel no enemy every day.

StellaGibson2022 · 05/01/2023 23:09

Rowthe · 05/01/2023 21:47

So make sure she drinks plenty in the day time.

No fluids in the 90 minute before bed.

Make sure she does a wee just before getting into bed. Dont out her pull up on until she is in bed.

Approx 2 hours after she is asleep take her for a wee.

Keep doing this. Every night.

Until shes waking up with a dry pull up she isnt ready to come out of the pull ups.

She is still quite young.

If it persists over 6.5 years old see your GP.

This and don’t stress!

I used to do bath, cuddle, teeth, wee and then pull up on, PJs. then about 11pm (when I went to bed) took them for a wee.

They won’t wake up I promise! Good luck and get to Aldi or Lidl for the pull ups going forward.

Claireshh · 05/01/2023 23:10

We saw a consultant and he fixed the problem for our then nine year old.

  • six wees during the day
  • drinking 1000ml of water before 4pm (we used large ion water bottle). I would assume less for younger child
  • lift for a wee at 10pm
  • no food after dinner (we’ve adapted to no food after 7.30pm now as he stays up later)
  • still used pull ups until he had ten dry nights in a row
  • stopped lifting at night once he’d been dry for a while.
It took at least three months to start to work. I know this approach works as if he deviates too much - stops drinking plenty of fluids or eats snacks in the evening he has an accident.
trac2007 · 05/01/2023 23:15

Here for solidarity! My eldest just got it all so easily. She was dry overnight quite young. Middle DD is nearly 5 and she wears a night time nappy, I just get the cheap 6+ or 7 from Tesco. She’s never had a dry nappy, but I have wondered whether she just wakes in the morning and lays there chilling and pees as she knows it’s on. She declared the other day she didn’t want to wear her nappy anymore cringe so I went with it, success, a dry night! Next night, wet. Third night, wet. Tonight she asked for a nappy back on. Also trying to potty train my 2 year old DD…she’s just peeing all over the floor 🤦🏻‍♀️ Pass the biscuits!

Wibbly1008 · 05/01/2023 23:19

I put a rubber sheet on the bed (under the normal sheet to protect mattress) then picked my dd up and took her to the toilet every couple of hours for about a month. We had a couple of wet nights , change of sheets, but not many. By that time she was dry. Pull ups just make her remember being a baby and just weeing. If she wets the bed her brain will work out to wake her up for a wee if she needs it.

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/01/2023 23:47

I would withhold drink at least an hour before bed time and ensure she pees before sleeping.

Sleepwhatsthazzz · 05/01/2023 23:56

So I did do the reading and suggestions of not taking nappy off until they are dry for a week. I do also know it says not to lift them. But my instinct was telling me to go against this. Like your dd, my dd was wetting before she went to sleep and also being lazy in the morning and going as soon as she woke up. So I got those small waterproof mats layered them all up with blankets inbetween in case of night time changes. Lifted her at 10pm and she was able to make it through the night with that one lift. She had a few accidents in the morning as she was forgetting she had no pull up on. Then we forgot to lift her a few times as she never wet the bed. This was when she was 4 and all in took about 3 months. Best thing I ever did as I truly believe she would still be wetting her pull ups if I hadn't lifted her. We now lift our 4 year old at 10pm. Occasionally have forgotten until midnight and she has been dry. We do have a wee chat with her while she is up peeing, so she is not sleeping fully but falls back asleep again instantly

nothingleftttt · 06/01/2023 00:06

@OneToThree
Did you do anything or did they just become dry at 10?
9.5 here and waiting for a referal to continence team

LittleOwl153 · 06/01/2023 00:25

Parnent of a long term bed wetter here ... think 10+

She will grown out of it... it will take time and comparing to other kids will not help you it just adds to the stress (sorry!)

A few things to try...

Stop any form of fruit shoot - these bottles drinks are evil for the bladder no matter when in the day they have them..

Limit dark squashes... blackcurrant is particuarly problematic.

Don't limit water/milk before bed - her bladder needs training/expanding not emptying/frightening

Aldi pull ups were cheaper/held more for us but I'm going back a good few years. There are some good reusable about and many wahm small companies make them. I don't know ow how good they are with a ig wetter though.

If you decide to ditch the nappies look for umbrella sheets - they are a bed pad which will help with the washing. Also buy several full sets of bedding/PJs don't add to the pressure of it all.

I haven't read full responses so I hope you have sme useful suggestions. Big thing is to do whatever it needs to take the stress/pressure out of it. It won't help her and you don't know how Long you are in this for till you get out.

Ericaequites · 06/01/2023 00:35

My sister wasn’t dry until past 12 fifty years ago. It drove my mother batty, but she just had to wait it out. The new IKEA waterproof sheets are great, as my late partner also had problems when ill.

ElspethTascioni · 06/01/2023 00:39

Lidl pull-ups are very cheap. A couple of quid for 30.

WineIsMyMainVice · 06/01/2023 00:47

DD is 10 and we’ve only just got her dry at night. It’s been a complete battle for years! So 5 is really nothing to worry about!
The advice I would give is to get them drinking lots first thing in the morning. Apparently this switches the kidneys on. Drink lots throughout the day. Then nothing for an hour or 2 before bed. Pull-up on just before bed. Then loo (even if they say they don’t need it , you can generally get a bit!) then bed.
In the end we got the alarm. It was a hard few months but it worked!
Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves though. She’s still young.
good luck

HanSB · 06/01/2023 02:02

Try a bed wetting alarm, it worked for my nearly 6 year old at the time. It took just over a week and never had an accident in the night since. It was like a miracle for us. She wakes up during the night to go by herself every night.

Warspite · 06/01/2023 02:43

I used to “lift” DC when I went to bed so they could do a wee almost whilst still asleep. Worked a treat. Clean and dry day & night before 3yrs old.
Maybe I was lucky but might be worth a try?

Snowwhite83 · 06/01/2023 02:59

Nice guidelines on bedwetting show bed wetting is not a concern developmentally until 7 years old but if you feel you beed help now the best thing is normally to get your gp to do a referral for toileting so school nurses can help you. ERIC continence website is also very good about explaining what to do.
Good luck

NeighHarry · 06/01/2023 03:53

As others have said, make sure she's drinking plenty during the day.
I would invest in a Kylie sheet for her bed, you can buy them on Amazon.
I always used one when mine were small.
I agree with others that Aldi Nd other supermarket own brand pull ups are a lot cheaper and just as good.

blackheartsgirl · 06/01/2023 05:07

My youngest dd wasn’t completely dry at night until she was 9. I refused to put pull ups on her during the day after about the age of 3and she was great during the day but not at night.

only 1 out of my four that wasn’t.

I did read somewhere that it’s some gland or hormone that affects thier ability to be dry at night.

OneToThree · 06/01/2023 07:29

@nothingleftttt
we did everything! Reward charts, no liquid 2 hours before, 3 wees before bed, pull ups, no pull ups, sitting on toilet when we went up, not doing that, doctors at 7 with the tablets (can’t remember what they’re called now), then probably from 9 it happened once a month ish, then 10 it completely stopped.

OneToThree · 06/01/2023 07:33

I never told them off, never made a big deal of it, never mentioned it in the morning either.
Their year 6 residential I was nervous for them but it was fine.

yikesanotherbooboo · 06/01/2023 07:35

I used nappies for my DC for as long as they fit them; DD was dry at 5 and skinny DS1 was 10. DS2 was a much sturdier build snd went into pull-ups at 5 ish... also dry at about 10.

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