To stop breastfeeding cold turkey

[Newmama93]

Hi mums,

I still bf my 21.5 month old, he wakes me up 15/20 times a night to feed, screaming for hours on end if I say no, I give in and feed. I’m tired, I have stopped ovulating due to the constant night feeds and want another baby.

my husband was doing nights and my son slept so good, only feeding in the morning. He got sick and reverted straight back to wanting me all night and is feeding 5 times in the day, all naps, whenever he gets hurt or tired. I can’t do it anymore, it takes me an hour and a half to get him to sleep at he swaps sides and sucks and sucks then lays down then sits back up and sucks again.

my husband is off work and I ha e said I’m going to stay at my mums and get him to put DS to bed, my DH said I need to totally wean in the day as well or this won’t work and he’ll revert back soon (km going away with DS in 2 weeks where it’ll just be me ahh help)

some people are saying this is cruel to my son and I should wean slower at his pace,
but I’ve tried, it doesn’t work, he cries for hours until I give in. I’m tired, help

Not sure you should be having another baby just yet.

Thanks for the helpful words

It sounds like a plan you have the capacity to put in place and that’s a big point in its favour.

Your DS will probably find it a bit of a shock, but if he’s with his dad and getting all he needs, he’ll adjust quickly enough and soon forget about it. then he’ll be able to benefit from a mother who isn’t beside herself with exhaustion, which will also be a huge benefit.

Thank you, I guess people have worried me when they’ve made comments like what a sad way to end 21 months of feeding and that it’s traumatic.. he’s done it before and was sleeping with my husband for months he’s only reverted back for the past 2 weeks.

appreciate the advice

On Friday my husband said, I booked for you 2 nights in a hotel, you are tired you need a break. I found it was a good chance for me to wean my 16mth old ds. I usually wean cold turkey. So I left her with my mother for the weekend, the first night was terrible, they didn't sleep but 2nd night was better. I came back and she tried to nurse, she cried a few times but I stuck with it. We are coming to a week now, i am glad we have stopped the breastfeeding journey. She is even sleeping longer, she used to wake up so many times during the night, I was not sleeping well too.
So I agree with your husband to do it cold turkey.

Is he in the same room at night? Would you consider giving him water if he wakes and he can sleep once he have that drink but nothing else

With my eldest I just told him there would be no more milk at night, he was 15 months old but he understood, I said you can sit on my lap and cuddle or lay in bed but I'm not feeding you and he cried the first night, i stayed with him, I repeated it the second night and he knew I meant it so he just went to sleep.

Interesting !!

I have tried telling him no more milk and it’s gone at night, but he cries and tantrums and at around 2 hours I give in from anger and exhaustion.

not sure now whether to try and do it and tough it out myself or let my husband

I night weaned cold turkey and DCs were fine after a bad first night or two.

If you're feeding a lot currently you might want to pump fit a couple of days though to ease off gradually and avoid mastitis.

21 months is amazing, well done for breastfeeding for that long!

Definitely get your husband to do it it's much easier that way.

What do I do when I’m away with DS in two weeks without husband? He’ll be sleeping with me, I think I have to day wean as well so the milk isn’t on his mind at night and isn’t an option. I feel bad our last feed was a frustrated one and it’s ended like this.

thanks for all your tips! Feeling more confident

Following for advice. My little girl turns 3 in a few days and still is addicted to breastfeeding. I was ready to stop at 6 months. It’s so hard. I’ve gradually cut back so it’s only nap time and getting to sleep at night that she has it now but I really want to stop. Even bribery doesn’t work. I resorted to trying to bribe her with a new bike if she stops and she said “oh don’t worry mummy Santa can bring me that instead and I’ll keep milk”! Funny but not! Doesn’t help that breastfeeding turns me into an actual nymph either, my poor husband is shattered haha!

Good luck OP.

It'll be fine after the initial couple of days.

Not sure about day weaning, I day weaned first.

I "love" how your husband said you need a break and booked you a two night hotel - then gave baby to grandma for two days.

Dad of the year lol.

Hahaha I have to agree

I night weaned my toddler long before day weaning. It took 3 nights. First was horrendous, second a bit rough, 3rd ok. Go to bed wearing about 100 tops so it's difficult to give in.

Did you do it? So said no more night feeds? Yes maybe I have to be the one to do it if I’m going to keep the day one so I can go away with him and he not expect milk from me.

@Newmama93 they understand so much more than you think, be firm he'll soon get the message.

You can go cold turkey but just want to make you aware - this will cause a pretty severe shift in hormones for you and can leave you feeling very depressed. The hormonal shift is easier to manage if you wean slowly but I appreciate sometimes it is easier to go cold turkey. If you do choose to do this just make sure you try to get some self care in and look after yourself as it can make you feel very low. Good luck with it all :)

Agree

Why because my son feeds a lot?

you realise it takes 9 months for a baby to come? That’s if I get I can even ovulate again. Your mean girl comments are very obvious

Of course it's fine to stop cold turkey. My mum did it with me for the exact recommended time - 6 months, and immediately stopped. I am a healthy strapping 41 year old and I don't think I'm traumatised by it.

And incidentally, my mum was a GP.

The recommended time is now 2 years

God that sounds absolutely horrendous. I agree you need to wean him asap for the sake of your mental (& possibly physical) health.
Your husband should be supporting you a bit more with this I feel. It is very reasonable for you to insist that you can’t do this any longer and you and your husband need to come up with a plan together and stick to it. Let your husband take the brunt of it as you are the one who has been taking the brunt of it up until now. You must be exhausted.