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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it awkward to date a man a lot skinnier an you?

90 replies

pearlearringgirl · 03/01/2023 16:55

There’s a man who Im not sure if I'm interested in or not…. He’s handsome and has a good personality.

Just don’t know though… He’s a lot skinnier than I am. I’m not overweight as such but I’m a little curvy. I have never been with a man thinner than me though so I’m just wondering if it would feel awkward especially in intimate moments. I like him but I’m worried I will end up feeling self conscious.

Am I being unreasonable to worry about this?

OP posts:
SockGoddess · 03/01/2023 22:19

All the reassurance about slim men loving bigger women is lovely, but kind of missing the point. The OP (refreshingly) isn't worried about what the skinny guy thinks of her, it's the other way round. She's worried whether she'll be turned off by him.

No, she said she was worried she'd feel self-conscious, then later that she'd feel really big in comparison. I can understand that, being both tall and not skinny myself, but in my experience there isn't that awkwardness/self-consciousness as long as you do actually fancy each other.

SockGoddess · 03/01/2023 22:21

I always used to joke I’d never date someone whose ass was smaller than mine

That would have SERIOUSLY reduced my dating pool! In fact though most men I've been with have seemed to really like my big bum.

autienotnaughty · 03/01/2023 22:35

When dh and I met I was 9 stone and he was 11 stone. Over the next 10 years he gained about 3 stone (technically obese) and I gained about a stone (still a healthy weight) in past 2 years dh has lost 4 stone and I've gain about 2 stone. So now I'm classed as obese and he's tiny.

I hate it, he's bony and looks older and drawn. I feel huge next to him. Whe he was 14 stone I worried about his health but still felt he looked good.

unc79 · 03/01/2023 22:41

That would have SERIOUSLY reduced my dating pool! In fact though most men I've been with have seemed to really like my big bum.

Me too, whilst my DH is a good 2+ stone heavier than me, I still have the bigger arse I think! I don't think it would be uncommon for slim healthy females to have bigger bums than similarly slim and healthy males, it's one of the areas many women are curvier I think.

goodmorningsunny · 04/01/2023 06:44

I dated a guy much skinnier than me. Ruined my self confidence (but that's just me). You know what people are thinking.

I found it awkward eating with him too. I'm a normal size he was just verrrry skinny and he would barely eat anything and I'd eat a normal meal. But if the topic ever came up, he'd insist he ate hugggee amounts. In reality, he's fill his plate with huge amounts and then end up throwing 70% of it away.

Wasn't his fault, wasn't mine. But it became a serious issue for us.

Cherry35 · 04/01/2023 07:11

How many kilos different? Do you still find him attractive?

DrManhattan · 04/01/2023 08:13

Would defo not go for someone smaller or thinner than me. I don't find them that attractive.

Boooooot · 04/01/2023 08:20

My husband weighs about 10 stone. And it 6ft that makes him very skinny! I’m 5ft 6 and a size 18 so massively fatter than him but because he’s tall he doesn’t make me feel massive at all.

kimchifix · 04/01/2023 08:45

Not for me - I have dated a very much shorter and also a very much skinnier man in my life and both made me feel weird, and awkward. I don't mind slim, but I don't like feeling like a gigantic monstrosity! Grin Having said that some of the happiest couples I know have a disparity in height / weight so it clearly works for some!

SPlRlT · 04/01/2023 11:28

Sorry to be vulgar but....

The good thing about skinny men is that their dick can look big without all the pubic fat obscuring and shortening the dick. I know some men give it that funny fringe haircut to make it visually longer by trimming the base or root of the penis but having slept with a few skinny guys yeah it visually looks bigger and getting on top of them is easier with narrower hips. Even interlocking your legs around their hips in missionary is easier as there is less of them so there are logistical benefits. I suppose like men think they can 'fold' a slim petite woman and handle her easily in bed.

BabyOnBoard90 · 04/01/2023 11:53

Fat guys date slim women all the time. Not a big deal

QueefQueen80s · 04/01/2023 11:55

I wouldn't say no to Mckenzie Crook 😆 But I've had to think about this recently and I feel
similar to you.. the man who asked me out had legs like toothpicks and I'd feel like a whale (size 12 mum bod)

Mari9999 · 13/05/2023 13:16

OP, it may be that you exude more self confidence.

OneLilacTurtle · 03/06/2025 05:46

My other half always been skinnier then me I’m a 16 yeah he’s gained a little weight but only around the waist personally we have no issues our sex life has always been amazing if I everr became single I would date a similar man to him because that’s what I’m attracted to

Katemax82 · 03/06/2025 06:59

My dad was 6ft and 9.5 stones! My mum was size 16 at least when they were together, they managed to have 3 kids do must have been ok

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