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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it awkward to date a man a lot skinnier an you?

90 replies

pearlearringgirl · 03/01/2023 16:55

There’s a man who Im not sure if I'm interested in or not…. He’s handsome and has a good personality.

Just don’t know though… He’s a lot skinnier than I am. I’m not overweight as such but I’m a little curvy. I have never been with a man thinner than me though so I’m just wondering if it would feel awkward especially in intimate moments. I like him but I’m worried I will end up feeling self conscious.

Am I being unreasonable to worry about this?

OP posts:
scaredysquiggle · 03/01/2023 18:17

My last partner was the same weight as me but with a very well sculpted chest and narrow hips and slim legs. I'm curvy but very fit. It all worked very well. Especially with my on top the narrowness of his hips allowed for great pelvic compatibility

OnlyFannys · 03/01/2023 18:26

I have to say skinny is my one shallow dealbreaker. I'm not bothered about height or if they are overweight but I'm just not attracted to skinny guys. I feel bad admitting that because I know many men struggle to bulk up

Original poster
pearlearringgirl · 03/01/2023 18:28

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/01/2023 18:06

just don’t snap him

🤣🤣🤣

Had a good laugh reading some of these comments.

It’s good to see it worked out ok for many of you… Maybe I should give him a try 😏

I was mostly worried I would feel really big in comparison to him 😳 I’m a curvy size 12 and I’m used to feeling small next to my partners lol

OP posts:
nancydroo · 03/01/2023 18:40

I think if was teens and early 20s would be open to dating a skinny man. But to settle down with, no.

chubbachub · 03/01/2023 18:55

Yes it's awkward
If you are having these thoughts now, you won't ever be able to relax during sex or want to go on top without fear of crushing him 😆

My ex was definitely lighter than me and also the same height I just felt like a wobbly jelly mess.

My now Dh is about 4stone heavier and a foot taller and its perfect.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 03/01/2023 18:59

Im a good 5.5 stone heavier than my partner, yes, i feel super awkward about it in every situation. We actually haven't ever been intimate in any way yet despite being together just over 2 years, due to meds he's on giving him 0 sex drive and only seeing eachother once a week. His Birthday is July 1st, i'm hoping to shift a decent ammount of weight by then and maybe things will happen, i'm certainly hoping so!

SPlRlT · 03/01/2023 19:09

I found it awkward but I don't care or flinch if I saw a couple like that.

I have dated guys who were thinner than me, they were really underweight maybe 16 BMI? and I was a BMI of 21 or 22 and in my late teens, early twenties. We had idiot 'friends' point it out and had names like Jack Sprat and even been called dumpy next to him (he was also tall). In the end it got under my skin and his, he started suggesting I lose weight and that he will go and bulk up.

In my twenties I later went out with a guy built more like a rugby builder and the way I felt feminine, small and he could sweep me off my feet was amazing, it made me feel so girly and protected.

I now in my 30s would date a man slimmer than me as met strong slim men and weak bigger guys... if he is slim but athletic and strong and if the difference of weight and height isn't too great between us then yes. I hated the huge (1ft+) height difference because I felt like I was his daughter walking next to him and couldn't kiss properly.

SarahAshley2 · 03/01/2023 19:10

It’s only awkward if you don’t find him attractive. The fact you’ve brought it up probably means it’s an issue for you. I’d find it massively off putting but I’m a size 6-8 so anyone smaller than me as a man would be teeny tiny!

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 19:10

AlmostAJillSandwich · 03/01/2023 18:59

Im a good 5.5 stone heavier than my partner, yes, i feel super awkward about it in every situation. We actually haven't ever been intimate in any way yet despite being together just over 2 years, due to meds he's on giving him 0 sex drive and only seeing eachother once a week. His Birthday is July 1st, i'm hoping to shift a decent ammount of weight by then and maybe things will happen, i'm certainly hoping so!

Is this a relationship? Once a week…. What do you do?

RainyDaysAndGreySkies · 03/01/2023 19:18

My ex is very skinny, I’m very fat. It worked just fine, never ever any issues even with me on top - which was incidentally his favourite position.

Hankunamatata · 03/01/2023 19:19

Nope. Always been 16 plus usually and always dated slim guys

Hankunamatata · 03/01/2023 19:19

None of mine were gym bunnies though just naturally slim

RocketIceLollie · 03/01/2023 19:22

If the guy likes you what does it matter? Everyone has different types and some men prefer fuller woman.

toocold54 · 03/01/2023 19:44

I think it depends how skinny.

Anyone that is too skinny or too fat isn’t going to be attractive to me.

I don’t mind slim (or chunkier) men and I am curvy so things like my thighs will be bigger than most mens but I wouldn’t want to feel like I’m going to break someone 😂

Do you think he’ll be able to lift you up?
I think I’d be slightly put off by a man who couldn’t lift me up if they needed to.

Runningfire · 03/01/2023 19:48

Oooh I love skinny men so much….

Auntiedear · 03/01/2023 20:00

Slim but still strong is absolutely fine with me but I wouldn't fancy someone who was skinny as in scrawny / weak.

I once dated a skinny guy and when we had sex I just couldn't get over his scrawny sparrow legs flapping - urgh!

FloydPepper · 03/01/2023 20:03

Could we do this without the jokes about picking him up, snapping him, etc

im shorter and slimmer than average, I find I get the piss taken out of me for both.

FloydPepper · 03/01/2023 20:04

Auntiedear · 03/01/2023 20:00

Slim but still strong is absolutely fine with me but I wouldn't fancy someone who was skinny as in scrawny / weak.

I once dated a skinny guy and when we had sex I just couldn't get over his scrawny sparrow legs flapping - urgh!

Like this

perhaps he doesn’t like massive tree trunk legs…

RocketIceLollie · 03/01/2023 20:08

The only problem might be his power in his motion....

SomeChickensAreJustTooBig · 03/01/2023 20:09

I’m skinny really but DH is VERY cuddly and strong. Size is not an issue ever, I don’t think, it’s all about whether you fancy each other.

DeadButDelicious · 03/01/2023 20:09

I like skinny, pale guys. Always have. Usually with long hair. Which is handy as I married a very skinny, practically translucent Scottish fella with waist length hair. Grin

I am big, a size 26 as it goes. I've never felt awkward or self conscious with him, in fact no one else has ever made me feel as sexy as he does, he loves every inch of me. It works. Really, really, well. If you like him I say go for it OP. 👍🏻

curvymumma79 · 03/01/2023 20:11

I used to have an 'arrangement' with my sons martial arts instructor. He was short just over 5ft, slender and incredibly fit! Both literally super sonic fit and hot!

He was my FWB. I'd known him for about 5 years.

We hooked up a few times a month, for about a year, and it was loads of fun.

I'm 5ft 8" and at the time was a generous, curvy 14 and he loved it!

We got on really well, and would talk for hours and I said that I was self conscious, but he couldn't see it. He said he'd always preferred a curvier woman, and he didn't see that I was self conscious.

He gave me the confidence in the bedroom, to be whoever I wanted to be, and it was great.

Jump in, and enjoy 😉

OrlandointheWilderness · 03/01/2023 20:12

My X was a lot skinnier than me. It would've been fine apart from the fact I just didn't fancy him.

FluffingtonMuffington · 03/01/2023 20:16

I love slimmer men and I'm a 12/14. In my experience they absolutely love the curves but obviously everyone is different. Go for it I say!

FluffingtonMuffington · 03/01/2023 20:17

I also know a couple where she is a size 26 and he is rake thin, they are adorable. It's a non issue imo if you both fancy each other!