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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it awkward to date a man a lot skinnier an you?

90 replies

pearlearringgirl · 03/01/2023 16:55

There’s a man who Im not sure if I'm interested in or not…. He’s handsome and has a good personality.

Just don’t know though… He’s a lot skinnier than I am. I’m not overweight as such but I’m a little curvy. I have never been with a man thinner than me though so I’m just wondering if it would feel awkward especially in intimate moments. I like him but I’m worried I will end up feeling self conscious.

Am I being unreasonable to worry about this?

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 03/01/2023 20:18

Not at all!!! Met DH 16 yrs ago. He was super skinny....I was curvy and a bit overweight at that. We are a perfect match. Also I slimmed down a bit and he on some (much needed!) Weight so we are more even now 😆

Auntiedear · 03/01/2023 20:18

FloydPepper · 03/01/2023 20:04

Like this

perhaps he doesn’t like massive tree trunk legs…

Show quote history

Indeed, perhaps he doesn't like "massive tree trunk legs" and that is absolutely fine!

Notimeforaname · 03/01/2023 20:20

Might as well give it a go op if you want. But it's fine to have a preference, everybody does .

I once dated a skinny guy and when we had sex I just couldn't get over his scrawny sparrow legs flapping - urgh!

I had the opposite of this, Id only ever been with skinnier guys..til I got with a much cuddlier guy but his stomach kept getting in the way in bed and I got the ick.

Also dont like large bodybuilder type guys either.

Convinced myself to open my mind and appreciate all body types, slept with a beaut of a personal trainer...he had a micro penis, I was raging.

nc824 · 03/01/2023 20:21

@FloydPepper I suspect the most fragile thing about you is your own self esteem.

Keyansier · 03/01/2023 20:23

I'm 5 foot 10 and just over 8 stone so every single man I have ever been with has been bigger than me! Have personally never found it to be a problem.

Spacebears · 03/01/2023 20:24

I've had a few partners that have been way slimmer than me including my current. No issues at all. It's only a problem if you make it one, he's probably into women bigger than him.

Zanatdy · 03/01/2023 20:26

I’m not keen on very skinny men so it would be a no from me, but also I like to go on top sometimes so that would obviously scare me! But I guess plenty of women have men heavier than them on top of them in missionary and it’s not a massive issue

FloydPepper · 03/01/2023 20:27

nc824 · 03/01/2023 20:21

@FloydPepper I suspect the most fragile thing about you is your own self esteem.

Brilliant. Made me laugh 😀

FloydPepper · 03/01/2023 20:28

Auntiedear · 03/01/2023 20:18

Indeed, perhaps he doesn't like "massive tree trunk legs" and that is absolutely fine!

Show quote history

I just don’t think either “jokey” descriptor is ok really.

Auntiedear · 03/01/2023 20:29

FloydPepper · 03/01/2023 20:28

I just don’t think either “jokey” descriptor is ok really.

Show quote history

It wouldn't be ok to share that sentiment with that person or anyone they knew but, on an anonymous forum I think it is ok.

Meggie2008 · 03/01/2023 20:33

I'm a 14/16 and around 4 stone heavier than my partner. He's taller than me too, never been an issue

eatdrinkandbemerry · 03/01/2023 20:34

My partner is so skinny and I'm carrying a few extra pounds 😩.
It's never been a problem but I can't steal his hoodies or shirts 🤷‍♀️🤣

crackofdoom · 03/01/2023 20:36

Slim/ slight men are my ideal, and I'm a curvy size 12. The last man I was with was pretty slim, and couldn't get enough of me.

I never get that "Oh I love a big man to make me feel all small and feminine" thing. You....want to be made to feel small? Doesn't society already do that to women, constantly?

Daisychainsandglitter · 03/01/2023 20:50

My DH is much slimmer than me. Never been an issue!

SockGoddess · 03/01/2023 21:00

I've ranged from a 12 to a 16 and have had a few beanpole boyfriends (my type) who seemed to be perfectly happy for me not to be skinny - in fact one was especially keen on larger women and I would say I was actually on the slimmer end of his tastes. It depends on what he likes, I don't think slimmer men necessarily only want slimmer women. If a man was judging me and saying I should be skinny, well THAT would be awkward, but if both partners are attracted to each other then not awkward!

GoldenCupidon · 03/01/2023 21:02

crackofdoom · 03/01/2023 20:36

Slim/ slight men are my ideal, and I'm a curvy size 12. The last man I was with was pretty slim, and couldn't get enough of me.

I never get that "Oh I love a big man to make me feel all small and feminine" thing. You....want to be made to feel small? Doesn't society already do that to women, constantly?

Only once did I date a medium size but really muscly guy and it WAS very sexy, that strength and that he could (as people say on here) “throw me about”. So I sort of get it. But I think slim men are so kind of masculine and elegant.

maybe I just fancy everyone 😳

Ghostlight · 03/01/2023 21:06

I think on a practical level it often helps if at least one person in the relationship is a little softer.
I have a chronic condition and have always been underweight the few times I have been with a similarly 'skinny' man it was awful.
Bone on bone is so uncomfortable- we got bruises from each others hip and pubic bones and hugs felt like we were a pair of xylophones being stacked in a cupboard.
I love softness in people I date now, your 'skinny' guy will probably very appreciative of your curves.

WandaWonder · 03/01/2023 21:09

I have been married to one for a long time, I don't see the issue

GoldenCupidon · 03/01/2023 21:09

pair of xylophones 😂

Digitalisaredangerous · 03/01/2023 21:12

Pair of xylophones has killed me

Purplecatshopaholic · 03/01/2023 21:12

Each to their own, and what you find attractive. I always used to joke I’d never date someone whose ass was smaller than mine, lol. Never have, I prefer tall, well built blokes, just my preference.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 03/01/2023 21:24

My “type” was always tall slim men, I was, in my dating days, a 12/14 shortarse. Luckily, dh fitted that criteria, though we’ve both filled out a bit in 40 years.
All three of my tall, slim sons are in or have had long term relationships with women size 16 or bigger. They are all happy, that’s all I’m bothered about.

Sparklesocks · 03/01/2023 21:26

Only if you allow it to be.

5128gap · 03/01/2023 21:33

All the reassurance about slim men loving bigger women is lovely, but kind of missing the point. The OP (refreshingly) isn't worried about what the skinny guy thinks of her, it's the other way round. She's worried whether she'll be turned off by him.

WandaWonder · 03/01/2023 21:56

5128gap · 03/01/2023 21:33

All the reassurance about slim men loving bigger women is lovely, but kind of missing the point. The OP (refreshingly) isn't worried about what the skinny guy thinks of her, it's the other way round. She's worried whether she'll be turned off by him.

She either is or isn't, I am either attracted /turned on by someone or not

Do people need to think about it?

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