To cry over a potato smiley?

[bigbodge]

I'm at my wits end with weaning my 10 month old. She eats basically nothing. I have tried spoon feeding, baby led weaning, a combination of both. I've tried so many different foods and the only things she will reliably eat are yoghurts, fruit pots and baby porridge. She hates anything too textured. If I spoon feed she shuts her mouth, if I let her handle it herself she throws it on the floor. I've just lost my shit over a potato smiley (not in front of her but fucking hell I could scream).

The amount of time I spend trying to make her nutritious or interesting food only for her to Chuck it on the floor is driving me insane. And im so worried about her development. Other babies her age are having 3 meals a day and dropping bottles but she's still having 5 over 24 hours because she's simply not getting enough food and when she does it's half a yoghurt or a bastard fruit pouch.

Has anyone else got/had dc like this? Does it get better? My elder two both ate like horses and would have bowlfuls of whatever I offered.

She’s 10 months old. There’s nothing to stress about. My DD didn’t eat anything more than a mouthful (if that, sometimes nothing) until she was 13 months.

At this age food isn’t meant to fill them up. It’s about exploring different tastes and textures (it’s normal to take 10-15 tries to like a food), learning how to chew, swallow and take appropriate size bites, how to use cutlery etc.

Best thing to do is give them exactly what you’re having, cut appropriately as per solid starts and mind the salt/sugar content, and sit down and eat with them. If they don’t touch it, that’s okay. If they throw it on the floor, that’s also okay.

Getting stressed (and as much as you might think you aren’t showing it, little one will pick up on it through tone and body language) is just going to put more pressure on mealtimes and make baby not want to partake in them.

So show them exactly what we do at mealtime, in a no pressure, stress free environment, and eventually they’ll pick it up.

What a lovely, reassuring post Bea.
Hope it helps Bigbodge

@BeeColourful thank you I've tried so hard not to stress but it's taking it toll now. I try really hard and have offered such a broad range of things that it's just disheartening when she clams her mouth up shut or chucks it straight on the floor. It's more because im worried about her being full and putting on weight though. Does it seriously not matter if they aren't eating at all at this age? I know they still get the majority of their nutrition from milk but surely they should be getting at least something from food by now.

My DC was reluctant to eat textured stuff beyond the age they ‘should’ have eaten them.

I’d keep to the smoother stuff she likes and try again on a weekly basis.

Also, don’t spend ages making food for her if she won’t eat it. It’s demoralising and a waste of time, the ready made purées are mostly not unhealthy (just check the ingredients) and they are puréed to the correct texture for age (or older if you need to keep using them) so you don’t have to worry about that bit either (which sounds particularly relevant in your daughter’s case).

At that age mine would try everything but realistically swallow very little, it was either spat out or thrown and then she'd munch a bit more and do the same. You're not unreasonable to be frustrated and upset but you probably need to relax around it. Keep trying different things and some things will stick. Maybe she prefers cold food, or sloppier food (Bolognese, shepherds pie, stews with bread dippers, fish pie), etc. Took until 2 for mine to entertain anything with any kind of crumb or batter coating, for example, and she'd only eat potato "freezer food" type stuff...if it was still frozen 🙃 and she's only really started entertaining meat in any form at 3 years. Also took until 18m-2y for her to eat any kind of bread product or wraps/croissant/pastry etc. If she doesn't eat something keep offering small amounts along with other stuff.

This is absolutely normal at this age, please don’t worry

Keep offering her bites of whatever you’re having, don’t go to loads of effort to cook new stuff for her. She’ll get there.

Agree with PP, it is hard but just try and let go, they will eat more in time. My DS also didn't really eat solids until he was 1. He was very small for his age (but still growing along the correct percentiles and all that) and he still eats like a sparrow now.

Easier said than done, but try not to compare with your other children or babies around you. Take the stress of yourself, you're doing fine!

Oh god it is hideous. I am so sorry because I have also cried over mealtimes and totally understand how you feel. I ended up parking mine in front of the iPad and spoon feeding them. This is not exactly recommended but it was the only way I could get a meal into them and drop bottles

My daughter was breastfed (still is now aged almost 4 years old). She ate nothing - absolutely nothing until she was approx 15 months old. Then took to food immediately and now eats completely normally. Food was offered at meals times for her to feed herself (or not!) and then taken away without fuss or comment. Our job is to provide the food, and theirs is to eat or not.

Shes so young, please try not to make a big deal out of it as it will probably make it worse. She will eat eventually - all children are different.

My DC1 was bloody massive as a baby, met milestones, no issues and had very little interest in anything but milk till after one.

I'm not sure if we're allowed to post links or whatever so apologies if I shouldn't recommend anyone but look up Feeling Littles on social media. They are absolutely fantastic with loads of suggestions and generally helpful advise. One of their key messages is about exposure, it can take so so long for a baby or child to be interested in food. I think it can be like 20 times. 10 months is still really young, try not to worry even though it's frustrating!

DS was like this. He dropped off the centiles - literally less that the 1% centile. It was a constant battle that scarred me mentally. You feel like such a useless mother being unable to feed your child. Turned out he was autistic and just loathed all the textures.

If she isn't lactose intolerant, add some single cream to her milk or get extra fortified milk. Add abidec vitamin drops to it.

If you can get her to eat a single mouthful of anything at all, try to make it high calorie.

Try weird things. DS would eat humous of all things - only a spoonful, but I got the full fat kind and sometimes mixed it with finely blended avocado and/por Greek yoghurt. (Not saying she'll eat that but try strong or strange flavours just to see.)

Some things that helped:
stop showing it worries you.
start eating with massive enjoyment in front of her
If she;ll eat rubbish - icecream etc, give her that at table so she associates dinner time with pleasure, and try to sneak other food in at other times.
Try the 'posting' technique. Cut food into tiny mouthfuls, of have a pot ready and just slip a spoonful in while she is distracted at play. I used to follow DS around soft play. There was a toy train he loved and I could usually get a few spoonfuls in while he drove it.

As she gets older (if the problem continues) put out lots of tiny pots and let her help herself. explain as soon as she is able to understand what different food groups do for her and get her to choose which food from each group she will eat.

Do ask for a referral to SALT if it continues. Could take months to get seen, so start pestering now. use any drop in centiles to push for a referral.

I had a similar experience with my third dc! He ate almost nothing at all until he was 9 months and then he was only really interested in fruit for a good while after that. He wouldn't take a bottle either, so I was still just bf him (and he was a huge baby - I remember eating 8 slices of toast in a row as a snack one day!). I can't remember exact timings, but he did go on to eat a really healthy and varied diet - he just took his time to become interested. He's 11 now and still strapping! He was quite a sicky baby - I don't know if that was part of the reason - it must have been reflux, but it didn't upset him and he still gained (plenty of) weight.

I cooked my way through the Annabell Sodding Karamel cookbook and my dc systematically dumped them all on the floor.

I can’t say for certain that my sanity survived that phase.

Mine was disgusted by solids until 18 months. Food before one is mainly for fun. Try not to compare yourself to others.

Just wanted to say that my DD was the same. Spat everything out and threw it on the floor. One day at 11 months old miraculously something clicked and she just started eating (and is now a thriving 11 YEAR old with a healthy appetite).
I remember being really worried but kept telling myself ‘food before 1 is just for fun’ and she got there (just!) eventually.

My first took to baby led weaning like a dream and ate anything and everything. My second wouldn't let a taste of solids past his lips till he was at least 9 months, at which point he would take small amounts of spoon fed puree. The health visitor who'd given me grief because he wasn't eating any solids then gave me grief because he wasn't eating anything textured. At about 13 months he decided texture was OK, and has barely stopped eating since. Both kids are now bottomless pits and eat most things.

They're all different, they all get there in their own time and way. 10 months is way too early to be worrying, which I know is easier said than done. Try not to compare her to other people's babies, what the books say or anything else - she's doing her own thing, and she's not read the books (and if she's as contrary as my children, if she had read the books she'd do the opposite just to prove them wrong).

My DD is almost 12 months and she's been largely the same. We did puree and finger food together from the start. I think she only started eating a bit more at about 10ish months but only finger foods. If I try to spoon feed her anything she will clamp her mouth shut, if I give her the spoon she will throw it. I still breastfeed and she has milk about 3 times a day, not counting nighttime as she still wakes multiple times! I try not to stress too much about it now,someone said to me its my job to provide nutritionally balanced meals and/or snacks throughout the day, and it's her job to choose what to eat. But yeah, solidarity, we've also found it very difficult.

Using screens to distract so you can fill her up without her noticing the process of the actual eating is counter productive in the long run, though I can understand the desperation.
You do need to be able to stay sane though op.
At that age mine responded well to being 'one of the gang' at the table. So we sat her up to the table with us when we ate (we ate when she needed to), gave what we had, chatted and ate and took it away at the end. No attention paid to flying food.
I think it helps because it's no extra work to give a kids portion of your own food, so that takes the heat out of your reaction some, also making the focus NOT the eating but having company at the table helps her along, you are a good example and if it's only you two at the table the chat can be quite inane and tedious but stops you focusing on what she's doing (or not doing). It's a similar skill to a dolls tea party. 🤣
Much easier if there is another older person present to help the chat. 😁
Just having that as a plan made a difference (to me!) I was also ready to tear my hair out, wanted to scream, and the frustration I felt at all my wasted effort and worry was like nothing else. Weaning is the worst thing I've ever had to go through as a parent. Baby was fine though, it was me that was in emotional shreds. 🙃

You are being OTT for a 10 month old. It’s actually really, really common for a 10 month old to eat that as a standard diet.

All of this excellent post. DS put loads in his mouth but looked disgusted and spat 95% out until close to 1 yo. Don’t keep giving yoghurts worrying about the need to fill her up. Weaning is a learning process, not a race to see whose baby can eat the most. DS is a fabulous eater with a wide palette now at 3.

Food before one is just for fun. Try not to stress it. Trying Food is literally just for taste n texture Currently, as frustrating as it is.

Keep offering little bits, preferably what you eat and when you eat. Bubs will get there eventually.

Mine just wanted to drink litres of milk. They weren't interested in food. It's easier to try with bought stuff because it's less upsetting when they refuse to eat it. The pair of them are grown up now and were ordering Thai food for themselves tonight so they did eventually progress on to solid food.

This - offer and don’t make a big deal. Smile if she tries something and don’t react. However I strongly suggest that if it is thrown it is removed. In my case food that was thrown was devoured by hungry labs - they learnt very very quickly 😂not to throw their food

Am I only one amazed this thread has got this far without saying 'just for fun until they're one'? If there's a rhyme about it it must be normal!

I will also say that anything that winds you up to such an extent - unless it is acutely dangerous - is something you should back right off about until you are calmer. I'm saying this as I could've done with a tattoo of 'back off' at various points when the kids were small (and again now they're teenagers tbf).