To cry over a potato smiley?

[bigbodge]

I'm at my wits end with weaning my 10 month old. She eats basically nothing. I have tried spoon feeding, baby led weaning, a combination of both. I've tried so many different foods and the only things she will reliably eat are yoghurts, fruit pots and baby porridge. She hates anything too textured. If I spoon feed she shuts her mouth, if I let her handle it herself she throws it on the floor. I've just lost my shit over a potato smiley (not in front of her but fucking hell I could scream).

The amount of time I spend trying to make her nutritious or interesting food only for her to Chuck it on the floor is driving me insane. And im so worried about her development. Other babies her age are having 3 meals a day and dropping bottles but she's still having 5 over 24 hours because she's simply not getting enough food and when she does it's half a yoghurt or a bastard fruit pouch.

Has anyone else got/had dc like this? Does it get better? My elder two both ate like horses and would have bowlfuls of whatever I offered.

Food is fun before 1 !

It's absolutely fine. Lots of cultures around the world don't introduce any solids this early.

One thing I’ll add us they’re all really different. DD1 was like your DD and super fussy about lumps or textures. If I gave her finger food she chucked it straight on the floor. Couldn’t understand how anyone did baby led weaning.

Then DD2 had major food FOMO (she still does lol) and would eat EVERYTHING and never let any of it fall on the floor. I didn’t do a thing differently and they’re both good eaters now.

Offer a range of nutritious food and stay chilled about whether she eats or not. Fruit, porridge and yoghurt sounds pretty good tbh- carbs, protein, sugar, good fats. Good luck!

My eldest child wouldn’t eat as a baby, he’s a healthy normal weight 8year old, my youngest would eat anything he was on the 75% for height and weight, he is now 5 and on 1% percentile for weight the nurses are worried about him, I’m worried about him. Your baby will eat when she wants, try not to stress and worry although it’s hard, have you spoken to your health visitor?

My dd is grown up now but at 10 months to 24 months she was awful, unbelievably fussy & rejected all my nutritious home made meals. I have clear memories of tearfully binning the whole meal (bowl & spoon included!) one day when I'd just had enough.
She slowly started to tolerate cereal, sandwiches & some very basic dinner time foods which she sometimes had in front of the telly as a distraction. Like your dd she had fruit purees & yogurt & honestly that's ok.
It's so hard but try to ignore what others around you are doing & stick with what's right for your dd. I had friends with dc who ate everything they made & it's tough but theyre all different!
If it helps at all, dd grew up to be a very good eater, a super healthy child & teen & is now a healthy adult who needs no distraction to eat!
You'll get there.

Dd was a nightmare. She’s 16 now but I remember her not eating anything. We’d have to distract her with toys to try and get a few mouthfuls in. She just wanted breast milk. it was so very stressful and wasteful.
She did eventually take those Ella’s kitchen pouches which she held herself and sucked straight from the pouch. Not textured etc but at least a bit of variety. She has not improved much I’m afraid and we still argue about her eating more veg!

@bigbodge are you eating with baby and giving her the same food as you? BLW is much less stressful than spoon feeding as you just put the food down and let the baby explore.

Also, when are you giving her milk feeds? Before or after food?

I do try and sit with her and eat but it's rarely a family affair as we all eat at different times.

At the minute the schedule is as follows:

Breakfast around 7-8am which is usually baby porridge which is one of the only things she will eat plenty of. Sometimes I sneak mashed fruit into it. Older dc will be eating breakfast with her at the same time.

Bottle around 9:30-10am before her morning nap.

Lunch around 12pm which is hit or miss. Often miss. I'll try and sit with her and eat a sandwich or whatever.

Bottle around 2pm before afternoon nap.

Dinner around 4:30-5pm. I try to cook things but she often refuses so it'll usually be a yogurt or a slice of toast cut into fingers at this point.

Bottle before bed about 6-7pm.

Bottle around 11pm

Bottle around 4am

It looks like a lot when you put it down like that but the reality is lots of little and often bits rather than full meals.

your kid barely knows what food is as a concept. I think a lot of people are quick to jump to describing a baby as 'fussy' when in fact they just aren't comfortable with a lot of foods yet as they are entirely alien to them and they don't even know how to eat them. All they've known when they are hungry is milk. You wouldn't be very keen either if someone starting trying to press unfamiliar substances with unexpected flavours and textures and smells into your mouth!

I would treat food basically as play rather than expect it to fill them up. Like others have said, let her just mess with it and taste what she wants, no pressure. She learns about her toys by mouthing, shaking, bashing, squishing them etc - food should be no different really. If you're handing her a crust at the table to keep her busy or whatever, that's perfect. Just keep doing things like that. Let her see you eating, let her have food off your plate etc: you are modelling it all for her. And just keep reminding yourself that she gets everything she needs from her milk, and any solids that go in are just a nice bonus while she's figuring this all out.

Honestly i think the biggest thing that is not clear with weaning is that some babies will want and be interested in a lot of solid food even before 6 months (a lot of baby boys especially and some take much, much longer to be interested. Pushing it when they are not interested completely puts them off.

However i do think the confounding factor is bottle feeding to a degree. When you bf your milk supply massively "stabilises" between 3& 5 months and no matter what lactation websites say, there is definitely a limit for most people as tp the extent you can significantly increase supply after this. Most people are not producing five 8ounce bottles worth of breast milk every 24 hours, i think for some babies there can be a self fulfilling cycle where milk supply stabilises, they are hungry, they try food & find it quells their hunger, they then feed less as not hungry due to eating, supply drops again, they are hungry and eat more solids etc.

Sometimes I sneak mashed fruit into it.

Definitely don’t do this! Sneaking food/hiding food in other foods is a very bad idea and sends completely the wrong message.

Baby is young now, but this practice erodes trust, promotes the idea of “good” and “bad” foods (all food should be neutral), and repeated exposure to food with no pressure increases the likelihood of them trying and enjoying that food in future.

"Food before 1 is just for fun".it's easy for me to say but try not to stress she'll do it when she's ready.

My eldest was like this. I cried too. She would only eat mashed banana, yogurt and scrambled egg till about 2. She’s nearly 14 now and eats pretty much everything put in front of her. She changed a lot when she started school. She was pretty small up until about 11/12, and has now had a massive growth spurt and is nearly as tall as me and wears the same size shoes. So all in all, as absolutely frustrating as it is, soul destroying and worrying, don’t be like me and regret wasting so much time over it. It will get better. Hang in there ❤️

It sounds like it’s all got a bit overwhelming for you @bigbodge - understandably!! It sounds really frustrating! Tomorrow is a new day. Just like with all stages of development, every child is so different! They don’t all take to walking/talking at the same time or rate, and the same goes for weaning.

Stick to basics. Don’t spend hours slaving over stuff. What do your other kids eat for dinner? Just sit her down with the same, cut appropriately for her age and let her eat it or not. Or give her some of yours.

Does she wake in the night for the 11pm and 4am feeds? I’m wondering if trying to cut down during the night might be your first area to work on.

I genuinely wouldn’t worry about her not eating much at this stage. My DS is 2 and eats absolutely everything in sight. He’ll ask for more at every meal. My best friends son is a month older and is a VERY cautious eater. Standing them side by side, you’d never know any difference.

@bigbodge @Scrabblequeen is spot on

So all in all, as absolutely frustrating as it is, soul destroying and worrying, don’t be like me and regret wasting so much time over it. It will get better. Hang in there ❤️

This.

Thank you all I really do feel so much better about this now. It's just worrying because I suppose I associate eating well with being full and healthy. If she's not eating I immediately start thinking she must be lacking somewhere and that starts the spiral of stress and worry.

I will continue with a spoon fed breakfast as she does seem to like that but for lunch and dinner I will just offer little bits of everything and try not to get too worried when it ends up on the floor. I will try and make sure I sit and eat with her too. Maybe she eats so well at breakfast because she's with the older dc who are also having breakfast at the same time.

That could definitely be part of her enjoying breakfast so much @bigbodge 😊

I sit and eat with DS at every meal - usually just a small piece of whatever fruit/veg etc he is having as I prefer to eat later than he does 🤷🏻‍♀️ So you certainly don’t have to sit down to full meals at the same time but it could really help her 😊

Also, when you say baby porridge, do you mean the Cow&Gate/Aptamil type ones? Try her on real porridge and see if it fills her up a bit longer 😊 ReadyBrek is much finer than full oats so would make a much smoother porridge for her if that’s what she prefers 😊
DS loved it with fruit too - I used to make the ReadyBrek in the microwave then mash in some frozen raspberries 👍🏻 Cools the porridge down nicely too!

Oh god, this brings me back. I used to say to DH, I’m just going to rip up a couple of tenners and put them in the bin. That will save me having to get out the double bloody buggy, go to the supermarket, scour the shelves for something they might eat, prepare it in the most plain and non-lumpy way, serve it up hopefully, only to then have to scrape it off the floor and into the bin 😩

They are 7 and 8 now and eat mostly everything. We had salmon and cauliflower tonight. This would have been unthinkable a few years ago.

Please don't get yourself worried. She's so little. DC2 took forever with weaning. She lived on milk mainly, probably for too long actually! She just wasn't interested. She's 7 now and growing fine. Very slim, loves sport and still doesn't bother much with food. Some people are just that way (wish I was 😆)

Omg, that fucking book. And those stupid little fucking pots for the freezer. Too much of my life was wasted peeling, chopping, boiling, roasting, pureeing root vegetables to then spoon into those tiny little pots, freeze, defrost, beg to be eaten then ultimately spat out or thrown on the floor.

Life is too short. If they will only eat porridge and fruit pouches then so be it. Keep offering bit and pieces from your plate but don’t stress. Chances are it will sort itself out in the end. My 2 anything and everything now as teens despite my lack of success with Annabel Karmel!

My dd was the same , she just drank gallons of milk, anything with texture wouldn't make it past her lips . She's 24 now , still drinks milk like it's going out of fashion and still won't eat yoghurts with bits in it !

I will continue with a spoon fed breakfast

Why not allow her to feed herself? She won’t learn anything from being spoonfed.

Of course she will. How ridiculous a statement. Every spoon fed child is still being spoon fed as a teen or an adult?

You need to chill out.

Losing your mind because she throws food on the floor?! A ten month old is supposed to throw food around.

just give them what you’re having. Including when out. And accept the mess.

I was told food is for fun, until they're one. My daughter wouldn't eat anything smooth with bits in, only pureed food. Even now as an adult, she won't have soup if it's not blended and hates yoghurt with bits in.