To cry over a potato smiley?

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I'm at my wits end with weaning my 10 month old. She eats basically nothing. I have tried spoon feeding, baby led weaning, a combination of both. I've tried so many different foods and the only things she will reliably eat are yoghurts, fruit pots and baby porridge. She hates anything too textured. If I spoon feed she shuts her mouth, if I let her handle it herself she throws it on the floor. I've just lost my shit over a potato smiley (not in front of her but fucking hell I could scream).

The amount of time I spend trying to make her nutritious or interesting food only for her to Chuck it on the floor is driving me insane. And im so worried about her development. Other babies her age are having 3 meals a day and dropping bottles but she's still having 5 over 24 hours because she's simply not getting enough food and when she does it's half a yoghurt or a bastard fruit pouch.

Has anyone else got/had dc like this? Does it get better? My elder two both ate like horses and would have bowlfuls of whatever I offered.

Does it seriously not matter if they aren't eating at all at this age?
It honestly doesn’t. I know that’s hard to believe and it feels like you’re starving your baby, but it’s true. There’s some great advice on this thread. Forget what other people’s babies are doing, it’s irrelevant, every child is different but sadly some people love to brag about how clever and precocious their baby is, so you hear stories about wonderful little Tarquin who eats a roast dinner at 10 months and washes up afterwards. Ignore.

Please don’t try to put food in her mouth if she clams up. Just stop trying at that point and offer different food another time.

My friend was at her wit’s end with her DD who would eat nothing (older than yours). Eventually she realised DD didn’t like cooked food! As soon as she started putting out raw finger food, down it went. She quickly progressed to normal eating and grew up with no food issues.

Another friend was in tears every day because her DS spat out everything he was fed (quite violently!) He simply wasn’t ready for solids and was fine being weaned later. No issues after that. Her mistake had been persisting way too much in getting him to open his mouth and accept the food. She’d poke his mouth with the spoon until he opened up. So he did, then blasted it out again because he just wasn’t having it. The mess in her kitchen was unforgettable.

Some babies don’t like being spoon fed but will feed themselves.
Honestly, you don’t need to worry. But don’t the little buggers put us through it 😁

Eat what as a standard diet? She isn't eating anything, that's why I'm worried.

Thank you so much for the comments. It's really reassuring to know that other peoples kids are like this. I think I probably need to scale it back, stop putting in so much time and effort and give her what she likes. It's really hard for us all to sit and eat together due to work patterns and kids clubs etc but I will try to definitely sit and have lunch and breakfast with her

Same experience here.

Dd is now 2.5 and still eats jack shit. She did luck a banana this afternoon though, which was a first. Some days I think I should save myself the hassle and scrape her plate straight into the bin.

Just keep going and don’t pressure.

We did Food For Fun until one!

You're putting too much pressure on the both of you. This doesn't sound like fun. I would reconsideration the weaning for now and do food for fun. Ours came naturally after that.

My DS was a terrible eater and still is at 9. He eats next to nothing and always preferred fruit puree/yoghurts and his milk. His older sister was a brilliant eater and adored broccoli/sprouts/mushrooms/cauliflower - literally any veg and was great with protein and carbs too. He was a shock to my system and made me realise I'd not "done a great job weaning" DD - I'd just been bloody lucky! Try not to stress. Children eat what they need.

So does food for fun just mean little tastes of stuff rather than trying to get significant volumes in her? For example if we go out for a meal we tend to just give her the odd chip or breadstick or whatever to gnaw on just to keep her entertained. Maybe I should take that approach at home too. I'm just worried that she's not getting full. But she's still having five 5oz bottles over a 24 hour period so presumably that'll sustain her for now and if she's having dirty/wet nappies and sleeping ok I guess it's a good sign?

You have my solidarity, my DD was like this and only started eating properly at 18 months, even now at 20 months she's still struggling with a lot of textures and really doesn't eat much

Food is fun before one is the motto I used to attempt to go by. However DS at 5yo with an extremely restricted diet who ate like your DD as a baby and it would reduce me to tears too (and still does!) so I completely understand. He’s been diagnosed with ASD last month and referred to a dietician who specialises in children that have restricted diets, could you ask your GP for a referral too? There doesn’t need to be a diagnosis of ASD for it, they are hugely supportive even if it’s just to let you know that you’re doing fine, fed is best no matter the food and to keep offering foods even if it does end up over the floor

Nope, it doesn’t matter if they’re not eating anything at such a young age! Not eating isn’t going to affect her weight gain or feeling full.

Food is not to fill them up - that’s what the milk is for and why milk should never be reduced under 1.

Don’t use purées - they don’t teach anything. Baby doesn’t learn how to chew, swallow, take appropriate size bites etc this way and that’s what’s most important at this age.

It’s not about getting food into them but about what they’re learning while at the dinner table.

Exactly. The idea of filling them up and dropping bottles/breastfeeds as quickly as possible is very outdated. Thinking of the first 6 months of weaning as providing ample opportunity for a baby to learn a new skill really helped me feel less stressed. If she’s sleeping well, peeing and pooing and growing on her centile then calorie intake is likely not lacking!

Two of mine didn’t eat more than a tablespoon full of anything until they were 18 months (and were also breastfeeding v frequently until then). Now they eat almost everything. “Food is for fun until they’re one” if you want a cheesy catchphrase and even longer in many cases. But keep using breastmilk or formula until they’re reliably eating a wider range so they’re getting the nutrients.

Sorry if someone else has replied similar - I haven't read all responses!

I was the same as you at this age. Really panicking at what my daughter was and wasn't eating but we stuck entirely to baby-led weaning and no purées etc, though she did have yoghurt. she was just more interested in milk than in food. All she reliably ate was mashed potato until she was about 14 months old when I stopped breastfeeding, but even then she'd eat the odd bit of fruit but no vegetables or meat.

She's now 3 and eats literally anything and everything and has a really healthy appetite! We often laugh now at how silly it was to panic about her diet at that age as she quite often asks for a snack of carrot sticks or an apple and I just never ever thought that would be possible when she was little.

Food before 1 is just for fun X

Yes absolutely. Eating is for trying tastes, textures, and the idea of feeding yourself until one (and a bit beyond I reckon). That's why doing it together and not paying too much attention to them while they're doing it (beyond choking) works best.

If it continues much past that you can give yourself licence to worry and get some assistance but I'd give it a break for a while.

For example if we go out for a meal we tend to just give her the odd chip or breadstick or whatever to gnaw on just to keep her entertained.

No, you should be giving her a small proper “meal” like you’re having, even if she won’t eat anything, so she understands what mealtimes are by watching you.

This is about education and learning and is a very important window for this.

Loads of great advice here. I know it's hard but just try to put food out and kind of ignore it. My eldest loved boiled up butternut squash, carrot and sweet potato. Honestly, everything in my house, including me and my child, was orange for 6 months.

I just wanted to echo what others have said. Just let her play with the taste and textures.

My eldest barely swallowed anything other than milk before he was 18 months old, but is now a 17 year old 6’4 rugby player who can easily put away 3,000 calories a day and will eat anything that is standing still.

She’ll start to eat for nutrition in her own time and when she is ready. In the meantime, think of food as being more like playdoh.

Having been in your shoes 2-3 years ago, I now look back and laugh how stressed I was. I want to tell myself to chill the fuck out! I pass this advice on to you too. She's just not ready, she just doesn't need or understand the need for food yet. It's not important to her. Just keep eating things in front of her, offering bits of your food to her, no pressure. It'll come in time. Mine just woke up one day and started eating. Then you'll get to a point where she's stropping and demanding what's on your plate, trust me.

Absolutely this. Honestly. If you're giving little tastes of age appropriate bits, that's all you need to be doing right now.
My DC is a tiny dot but gaining weight on her curve beautifully, and has 4 x 8oz bottles a day. She'll either nibble on loads one day, or won't touch anything other than milk other days, but she'll try anything.

My youngest didn't eat anything that could be considered a meal until he was well over a year old. It was incredibly frustrating and he's still still picky, but at Christmas he ate a Brussel sprout by choice. It won't last forever.

Also it can take 10+ tries before they decide they like something. Then they'll probably decide they don't like it again. Then love it again.

Nigella Lawson had great advice on feeding children which I took to heart - try to separate the effort of cooking for a child from the joy of eating. Yes, it’s annoying to spend hours pureeing apples (which I used to do) but don’t let the effort mean added pressure on your child to eat. Also, as others have said, milk is the main source of food until 1, not solids.

I went through this with mine, it's horrible. I'd honestly take a break completely, no spoons, just let her steal a little something from you when she shows interest. My little boy is almost 4 and is still not great with food, we have graze plates around always for him to help himself with no pressure.

DS1 tucked into a full plate of spaghetti bolognaise age 6 months.

DS2 refused food other than yoghurts, blended vegetables and fruit until age 2.

It is very easy to get het up about it all and blame yourself. Been there.

My lovely paediatrician summed it up by saying that by the time they start school they'll have all caught up. You don't see children in reception only drinking soup snd refusing to chew.

He was right. Be kind to yourself. It will all work out in the end but it can be pretty difficult to see that when you are in distress

It's so hard not to worry! I believe before age 1 it's pretty fine as the milk supplies everything they need.

My youngest daughter wasn't gd with milk or food! Health visitor suggested at 7 months old to cut her down to 3 bottles a day! I did not take her ridiculous advice which wld mean she wld be getting below the minimum required amount for her age. I also spent way too much time worrying and trying to make her food that she just used to throw about. I was told to try her with foods 20 times plus to get used

I did cut her down to 4 bottles at 9 months but I'm not sure it helped. She did get better but even at age 2 wld often hardly eat a thing. Seemed to like breakfast and then not much for lunch and usually didn't touch her dinner. She's just turned 3 and seems to be eating more now which is great. Still has days where she survives off not a lot. She's on the slim side but not under weight and I use vitamin supplements.

My daughter is 3 years old and still like this won’t eat it it goes on the floor I don’t know how she’s surviving 😩