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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do high energy children ever calm down?

103 replies

GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 20:39

My son is 4. He has a huge amount of energy and people often comment on this (and I mean very often, to the point that I get sick of hearing it). From the moment he wakes up he is what I can only describe as nuts! He doesn't stop, at all. Just constant movement, climbing, jumping, etc etc. It's like he's been given a shit load of stimulants and has duracell batteries powering him. His key worker adores him but has also commented that in her 20 years in childcare she has never met a child who has anywhere near his energy levels. He is lovely, normal amount of tantrums, very kind, has a very good diet/routine and sleeps exceptionally well. I just struggle so much in the day and am reaching the point of exhaustion. Its just me and him most of the time and I can't keep up. AIB unrealistic I'm hoping he will eventually calm down a bit? I was close to tears today because he's just drained me of a energy. Anyone have similar and lived to tell the tale?

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 02/01/2023 20:40

DS found alcohol at 18, that seems to have slowed him down a bit Grin

ArtichokeAardvark · 02/01/2023 20:44

No suggestions, but offering solidarity. My son is also 4 (nearly 5) and is charitably called a 'livewire' by his teachers. Always, always on the move, always talking at top volume and has to be centre of attention. The only thing that anchors him is if an adult sits and does Lego with him (doesn't work to leave him to it) so we spend a small fortune on Lego kits just for peace and quiet. Does your son have a similar interest that you can focus his energy into?

GlassBunion · 02/01/2023 20:50

My son was like that as a young child. Was flagged as a concern by a HV.

Calmed down by 7.

No issues now. He's 27.

ILoveeCakes · 02/01/2023 20:51

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IveHadEnoughNowFfs · 02/01/2023 20:54

Same as my 6 year old. Conscientious, bright, sociable, does well at school, eats well, great vocabulary and no issues with communication (communicates too well actually it’s sometimes like arguing with a teenager but suspect my parenting is part way to blame) BUT OMG SHE DOESNT STOP. From the minute she opens her eyes til she goes to bed, it’s constant. Sending solidarity to you, I’m hopeful they’ll calm down one day… eventually… probably right around the time we are for to be checked into a ward but still.

Adventurisoutthere · 02/01/2023 20:54

I was a high energy child - I am now just a high energy adult according to Dh 😶

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 20:55

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But there's nothing wrong with him?

OP posts:
IveHadEnoughNowFfs · 02/01/2023 20:55

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Erm, no? You don’t go around doping healthy active children just because they’re “too much” wtf sort of comment is that?!

You do know that normal kids have energy i spades?

Possibly the stupidest comment I’ve ever seen on mumsnet and that’s saying something!!!

Shutupyoutart · 02/01/2023 20:57

If you find out let me know op! My ds (5) has been like you describe since he was old enough to crawl /walk.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 20:57

GlassBunion · 02/01/2023 20:50

My son was like that as a young child. Was flagged as a concern by a HV.

Calmed down by 7.

No issues now. He's 27.

His key worker said she has no concerns, he doesn't have any of the 'flags' for things like adhd as he isn't impulsive, can focus on things for long periods of time (such as painting or building things, listening at story time etc), and he listens well. So I'm hoping my son is the same!

OP posts:
Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:00

IveHadEnoughNowFfs · 02/01/2023 20:55

Erm, no? You don’t go around doping healthy active children just because they’re “too much” wtf sort of comment is that?!

You do know that normal kids have energy i spades?

Possibly the stupidest comment I’ve ever seen on mumsnet and that’s saying something!!!

Show quote history

My uncle is a GP and literally said to me the other day 'you could probably get a diagnosis of ADHD if you asked enough doctors' (tongue in cheek)

OP posts:
Monsoonmavis · 02/01/2023 21:01

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Please don't do this. Find a way to channel his energy into something rather than using medicine to calm him down. My now 20 year old was absolutely wild when he was younger. He was always on the go and didnt stop long enough to catch his breath. When I tell him now about how wild he was when he was younger he doesn't believe me as he is now such a calm person.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:03

ArtichokeAardvark · 02/01/2023 20:44

No suggestions, but offering solidarity. My son is also 4 (nearly 5) and is charitably called a 'livewire' by his teachers. Always, always on the move, always talking at top volume and has to be centre of attention. The only thing that anchors him is if an adult sits and does Lego with him (doesn't work to leave him to it) so we spend a small fortune on Lego kits just for peace and quiet. Does your son have a similar interest that you can focus his energy into?

Lego is also the one! That and baking/dancing/going for a run (we have to put on specific running gear and run round our local race track otherwise we 'aren't doing it properly'), biking (he has a seat that goes in front and separate handlebars which are attached to mine). TV? Not interested. Playing with toys in his room? Not interested. Wish he had a sibling!

OP posts:
Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:04

Monsoonmavis · 02/01/2023 21:01

Please don't do this. Find a way to channel his energy into something rather than using medicine to calm him down. My now 20 year old was absolutely wild when he was younger. He was always on the go and didnt stop long enough to catch his breath. When I tell him now about how wild he was when he was younger he doesn't believe me as he is now such a calm person.

Show quote history

Wouldn't dream of it as there's nothing wrong with him. I'm appalled at the suggestion!

OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 02/01/2023 21:05

My little brother was like this, there are many family anecdotes. I was a calm, placid child usually found with a book, had to be woken up Christmas morning etc. He's now almost sloth like and I am constantly moving/doing something. Christmas day he said to me can you sit still for five minutes? (I was just tidying up a bit). My family all burst out laughing because we were totally opposite as children. I think he used a lot of energy playing sports as he got older, team and athletics, then once he hit adulthood he has an active job, and a sedentary partner which seems to have had an impact 😁

GoingtotheWinchester · 02/01/2023 21:05

My high energy kid is now 14 and shows no signs of slowing down 😄. Sport is his drug of choice - but he has to do a lot of it!

Merryoldgoat · 02/01/2023 21:06

My husband was like this apparently - the calmest man I’ve ever met now.

Get him into swimming - my cousin was like this and his mum says swimming club saved her sanity.

Biscuitandacuppa · 02/01/2023 21:07

My dd was similar but like another op would engage in an activity, Lego, building kits, colouring. She has recently been diagnosed with adhd, she is a lovely, kind, highly intelligent, disorganised mess monster! I suspect with the right guy she will achieve great things.

I learnt as she got older to give her ‘alone time’ it is rare that we can sit through a movie. She has to be doing something at the same time and will usually disappear upstairs part way through so she can run about and jump up and down. She then comes back and we start watching again. I find giving her the space to express her energy far more productive than trying to make her sit still. At your ds age we spent a lot of time at the park or on long walks.

Biscuitandacuppa · 02/01/2023 21:07

Guidance not guy!

CeeceeBloomingdale · 02/01/2023 21:07

Yep, much less spirited in the teens, barely leaves bed 🙄

PropertyGeek525 · 02/01/2023 21:10

I recommend plenty of physical activities (sports, play gyms, trampolines) and a few siblings (or lots of play dates with equally energetic children)- that has helped me. Trying to satisfy their need for lots of attention without some help will be exhausting.

hettie · 02/01/2023 21:10

Oh yes, dear good yes.....Dc1 bless was described as a 'lively personality' but those that were more frank just says he had a ludicrous amount of energy. We had to be up and out the house by 9 am, he just fizzed (and ran and jumped and talked and did everything with gusto and at speed). Taking him out to the park was liking going on an expedition with a mini parkour champ. I was so knackered by 6pm. It's better now, it was a gradual thing. I think by year 5 or 6 of primary it was easier......
What helped was lots of different things to do through the week. Gym, football, swimming (swimming did actually tire him), rock climbing thank you my lovely climbing friends pre school, crafts, play groups, parks, reading, Lego, lots of pretend play (big on imagination games). Lots of variation basically. We didn't have a car so walked miles and miles to get to activities (he quite liked buses and trains thankfully).
At 16 he's got normal amounts of energy (well at least for our family, sibling wasn't much different and dh and I are very active).

Pinkflipflop85 · 02/01/2023 21:11

My son is like this. Even now, while he's supposed to be relaxing for bed, he's bouncing off the walls.

He has ADD and was wired from the moment he was born!

Please be careful with your wording. I know you haven't meant it, but saying your son has 'nothing wrong with him is pretty offensive as it implies ND children ate faulty.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:15

Pinkflipflop85 · 02/01/2023 21:11

My son is like this. Even now, while he's supposed to be relaxing for bed, he's bouncing off the walls.

He has ADD and was wired from the moment he was born!

Please be careful with your wording. I know you haven't meant it, but saying your son has 'nothing wrong with him is pretty offensive as it implies ND children ate faulty.

Fair enough. I am ND and don't find it offensive but will keep it in mind for others who may.

OP posts:
Bouncebacker · 02/01/2023 21:15

They do, eventually! My high energy child just turned 11 and he is calmer, has more focus, and can control himself generally when needed. He still takes the most difficult route on any journey (up slopes, down ditches, behind trees, into puddles) rather than take the easy path, he doesn’t sleep much, but is aware more of what he needs - has started going for runs when he feels wild, has taken up sports and managed to learn the rules and techniques. It’s tough when other children sit down and play with toys for hours, or paint, or read books, and yours can manage five minutes max before he is off and away But do have hope - my boy who nearly broke me about aged five when five years of no sleep and no evenings and not even five minutes for a cup of tea caught up with me, is now a gorgeous, bouncy, fun, wild, kind, interesting pre teen (though I sense it’s all going to change again soon!)

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