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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do high energy children ever calm down?

103 replies

GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 20:39

My son is 4. He has a huge amount of energy and people often comment on this (and I mean very often, to the point that I get sick of hearing it). From the moment he wakes up he is what I can only describe as nuts! He doesn't stop, at all. Just constant movement, climbing, jumping, etc etc. It's like he's been given a shit load of stimulants and has duracell batteries powering him. His key worker adores him but has also commented that in her 20 years in childcare she has never met a child who has anywhere near his energy levels. He is lovely, normal amount of tantrums, very kind, has a very good diet/routine and sleeps exceptionally well. I just struggle so much in the day and am reaching the point of exhaustion. Its just me and him most of the time and I can't keep up. AIB unrealistic I'm hoping he will eventually calm down a bit? I was close to tears today because he's just drained me of a energy. Anyone have similar and lived to tell the tale?

OP posts:
Tallulasdancingshoes · 02/01/2023 21:19

My kids do multiple clubs, pretty much something most days. This helps to use up energy and keep them occupied. Could you try something like tag rugby?

Ricco12 · 02/01/2023 21:19

If you are ND I would think then he maybe is also, the red flags can not appear till later . He is too young to diagnose adhd. But by 8 you might well find he has been diagnosed

I would keep a look out as the high energy can very much be a sign.

FrogOfFrogHall · 02/01/2023 21:22

Agree with suggestion he may have ADHD. Bear in mind not all ND children present in the same way. Hyperfocus can be a trait of ADHD so the ability to focus doesn't rule it out.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:23

Ricco12 · 02/01/2023 21:19

If you are ND I would think then he maybe is also, the red flags can not appear till later . He is too young to diagnose adhd. But by 8 you might well find he has been diagnosed

I would keep a look out as the high energy can very much be a sign.

I'm dyslexic, dyspraxic and have OCD so nothing that would typically present how my son does, but will keep an eye!

OP posts:
Comedycook · 02/01/2023 21:23

Sorry to state the obvious but is he going outside every day for a run around. My ds was like this...I would take him to the park every single day whatever the weather. He's a teenager now and very sporty but lazy as anything at home!

123woop · 02/01/2023 21:24

Yes the ones I know have calmed down 🤣 most of them were calm by the age of about 7 or 8, and definitely by high school (though one is still "cheeky" but not full of energy).
Things that have helped have been zero sugar, including fruit, and some form of exercise, in particular things with more rigour like boxing or some of the MMA stuff. Even dance.
I'd personally be very wary of going down the medical route as previous posters have suggested unless it's absolutely necessary, speaking from personal experience 😬

YouJustDoYou · 02/01/2023 21:24

My ds is now almost 10 and can still run a marathon and be bouncing with energy after, and up at 6am the next day (which is an absolute lie in for him, he used to wake for the day bewteen 4am and 4.30am for years). He needs soooo much exercise it's unreal.

Haveagentlechristmas · 02/01/2023 21:27

If he is too much, you can ask your doctor for medicine

Noooo. Channel him into sports instead. Round us football and rugby clubs have already started at that age. Get him into plenty of ASC activities.

elliejjtiny · 02/01/2023 21:28

My 16 year old was like that as a baby/toddler but calmed down when he started school. My 11 year old is still very lively and loves to climb things and hang upside down.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:29

FrogOfFrogHall · 02/01/2023 21:22

Agree with suggestion he may have ADHD. Bear in mind not all ND children present in the same way. Hyperfocus can be a trait of ADHD so the ability to focus doesn't rule it out.

I'll keep an eye. His key worker said he doesn't display signs of adhd and she used to work specifically with ND children, but equally wouldn't mind at a if he did, and my brother does have ADHD so it's in the family (if there's a genetic link!). He's only just turned 4 though so a bit too early to go down that road.

OP posts:
Oblomov22 · 02/01/2023 21:30

What about a high energy sport? Rowing is the highest. Running, boxing, taekwondo, football, rugby?

Ijuststoodonlego · 02/01/2023 21:31

IveHadEnoughNowFfs · 02/01/2023 20:54

Same as my 6 year old. Conscientious, bright, sociable, does well at school, eats well, great vocabulary and no issues with communication (communicates too well actually it’s sometimes like arguing with a teenager but suspect my parenting is part way to blame) BUT OMG SHE DOESNT STOP. From the minute she opens her eyes til she goes to bed, it’s constant. Sending solidarity to you, I’m hopeful they’ll calm down one day… eventually… probably right around the time we are for to be checked into a ward but still.

You described my 9yo.

He's incessant but we Iove him. He is constantly on the go.

I'm teaching him to not talk over people and let others have turns in conversation.

He's a sweet boy, even if he doesn't particularly like resting.

He is going through a pogo stick)/Tigger phase currently where you have to watch him jumping about and hope he doesn't head butt you on the chin.

Bedtimes are tricky at the moment too. He doesn't seem to want to wind down 🙄

Anyway OP, you're not alone.

declutteringmymind · 02/01/2023 21:31

I have 2

No special needs emerged so far ( I have asked a few times). Can and will behave perfectly in given situations. Noisy and jumpy at home. They have got better as they have got older but still full on. Sports have been the answer for us.

caravanbuckie · 02/01/2023 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What kind of medicine do you think a GP would give?

whereareyousleep · 02/01/2023 21:34

My 4 year old DS (5 in march) is exactly the same 100% full on. I struggle to name 1 toy that he plays with as he wants to jump off sofas, run around etc. He can't sit still which is fine in summer as we go out lots or can be in the garden. Winter is an absolute pain. I don't know where he gets the energy from he barely eats he's under the dietician as he's super tall and super skinny he goes to sleep by 8pm but is in my bed by 12 and fidgets around all night not awake but still moving! He's really hard work I obviously love him to death but he's very full on. School report he's as good as gold never have any trouble with him part from a record number of bump notes sits and does work etc. I keep hoping he will grow out of it and calm down because I am shattered and I always feel very guilty because I'm constantly saying just let me sit down for 5 mins!! Sorry that wasn't much help but your not alone.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:35

caravanbuckie · 02/01/2023 21:33

What kind of medicine do you think a GP would give?

Show quote history

Probably referring to stimulants. For a 4yo. Ffs.

OP posts:
FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 02/01/2023 21:35

Reminds me of lockdown 1. On our daily walk we always saw a mum and her little lad, who looked 5 or 6. He seemed to be part Border Collie. She took to timing him as he ran round the entire park. We watched him do the entire thing full pelt 7 times on the trot and he seemed no more worn out than at the end than the start.

Laszlomydarling · 02/01/2023 21:37

My daughter is 8. Very high energy. Always moving always talking. People have low tolerance for it when they're used to kids who sit in front of the tv or iPad for hours at a time. I think she's fabulous and whatever she does with her life will be amazing, she tries everything, fears nothing.
There is nothing wrong with being like this. But I do get tired. I have to be very firm with her about my need for quiet time. And about appropriate times to get up in the morning. This became much easier when she could tell the time.

mondaytosunday · 02/01/2023 21:38

Not in my experience. My son was either full pelt or full stop (asleep). He slept well but if he made it to 6am it was a good day! He played all the sports on offer and rugby snd rowing outside of school.
He's 19 now and still very high energy. He hums with it. He goes to the gym every morning, works a full day and often goes for a run afterwards. He can't really sit long enough to watch much TV. He can watch football and play some computer games, but he's practically vibrating. He rarely sleeps in past 8am on days off.
He did see a therapist for a while who thought he had ADHD, but he has no diagnosis. It's not just high energy that indicates adhd though (he has a few other issues).

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/01/2023 21:39

You need to run him like a dog - all the exercise all the time. Trampoline, walking/cycling instead of driving, and he doesn't get to decide he only runs on a track in running gear - get him doing parkrun (lots of 4 year olds at junior parkrun) and playing football for an hour at a time. It all takes the edge off and shakes the fidgets out, although sometimes you will be very tired.

My DS was unbearable at 4 unless he had been outdoors and moving fast for hours. He could cycle for miles but it had to be away from roads because he had no sense at all.

America12 · 02/01/2023 21:40

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Medicate a healthy child with what ?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/01/2023 21:42

Reminds me of lockdown 1. On our daily walk we always saw a mum and her little lad, who looked 5 or 6. He seemed to be part Border Collie. She took to timing him as he ran round the entire park. We watched him do the entire thing full pelt 7 times on the trot and he seemed no more worn out than at the end than the start.

If you live in Walthamstow and the woman looked very tired, this may have been me.

Original poster
GuinnessLover · 02/01/2023 21:42

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/01/2023 21:39

You need to run him like a dog - all the exercise all the time. Trampoline, walking/cycling instead of driving, and he doesn't get to decide he only runs on a track in running gear - get him doing parkrun (lots of 4 year olds at junior parkrun) and playing football for an hour at a time. It all takes the edge off and shakes the fidgets out, although sometimes you will be very tired.

My DS was unbearable at 4 unless he had been outdoors and moving fast for hours. He could cycle for miles but it had to be away from roads because he had no sense at all.

He will run anywhere, the running gear for the track is lighthearted as he likes to feel like Usain Bolt and if he doesn't have his sport gear on he says he won't run as fast. It's cute. He doesn't demand it.

OP posts:
gogohmm · 02/01/2023 21:42

Not really, my go getter is an adult, super fit in the military

Loopylouloulala · 02/01/2023 21:49

Try giving him an iced coffee, my boy has ADHD and stimulants do the opposite on the hyper part of him. That's what's basically in the medication. So give that a go, I don 't medicate my boy, but coffee is great and you can really see the difference

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