To have said no to taking them

[SarahAshley2]

Just at parents having lunch and my SIL wanted us to drive them home in our car (about a 20 minute journey). They drove over but were leaving their car at garage next door for MOT in morning.

Our car is a five seater (one seat has a car seat for my DS). So leaves two in front and then two small spaces in back. However there were six of us.. four adults and two kids. SIL said it’s fine, her 6yo daughter will sit on her lap and the rest of us just squeeze in. We were given no pre-warning of this arrangement until BIL slipped it in to conversation. DH said nothing and so it was left to me to say ‘how are you getting home by the way? We won’t be having you in our car as you’ll not fit and it’s illegal’. They didn’t happily agree, DH chipped in ‘well we can but it’s a squeeze’. Luckily someone else there then offered to drive them and that was that. However I feel annoyed DH didn’t really back me up and they just assumed it was ok.

Would you have done the same? I mean it isn’t a two minute journey and not only uncomfortable but actually illegal!

I wouldn’t have taken them in the car without enough seats, but I’d probably have done two trips.

No way. It doesn't matter how short the journey is - isn't there some statistic about the majority of accidents happening within the first mile of home / a journey?! What would happen to your poor niece then - no seatbelt etc.

I hate people who are cheeky enough to assume you'll just go along with this. Good for you for saying something and I'd be having a word with DH later to say how you feel - he should have backed you up.

I would have just drove. I don't get why people make such a fuss over minor things like this (each to their own though of course).

Oh so they didn't ask you you just said you wouldn't? Bit of a non story tbh. Yeah it's a bit shitty they would have done it but they didn't suggest it.

My BIL mentioned earlier in convo ‘oh we’ll get a lift with you’ but didn’t outright ask! So a bit later when we all started getting ready to leave I said ‘erm how are you getting home?!’

Why couldn't you do 2 trips? It's not like these people were random strangers!! Very bizarre

It didn’t even cross my mind as we had my son to take home and put to bed. Maybe if they asked earlier rather than assume just as we left I might have suggested it! It turns out someone else happily took them, my question more was about if you’d have driven them all together.

I would for a two min journey. Not 20. And to do two trips - they can get a cab

I've had this exact thing come up with OH's family and their DD. No space and they offered to put her on their lap and was 30 min drive.
Both me and OH said no- it's against the law, dangerous and if we get caught then that's on us.
It's irresponsible.
Don't let people make you think you are making a fuss. Rather a fuss than put them and yourselves in a harmful position.
They accepted it btw and didn't take it personally at all. We also said it nicely and it wasn't an issue. So you should feel free to say no and they should also be understanding
X

I would have done the two trips and addressed it as soon as DBIL said it. But I also know DH and I would have been on the same page about no one sitting on laps. But then I feel there's been loads of ads in Ireland about the one without the seatbelt doing the damage.

Because it's illegal for a reason?

That's ridiculous people telling you to do two trips when you have your own child to take care or.
Obviously if you OH dropped you and little one off and went back for his side of family then good for him, bit it's not something you should have to be thinking of for them

If DH wanted to do them a favour he could've run you and DC home then gone back for them. Definitely wouldn't have children on laps. Also high police presence on the roads here at the moment and it would be the driver facing the consequences not the parents.

Either my dh or I would have drove them and then come back. As family, we help each others. They even have their own car so I'm assuming that's an one-off lift request. Don't understand why you're making such a fuss.

Minor things like seatbelts

I’m not making a fuss about the suggestion of coming back to get them am I? It wasn’t even a thought. I asked if you’d have had kids on laps!

No I wouldn't have taken them. I might have considered two trips if they'd asked nicely, in advance, and if they were good ppl, being family doesn't entitle you to special treatment, it's whether they'd do the same for you.

Would have driven

..do you are annoyed about something that didn’t happen, and that you weren’t actually asked to do ?

You know that children aren’t allowed to travel on laps, so not sure what you are looking for here.

I would've done two trips.

It's illegal!!!

They did ask! We didn’t do it as I said no but they asked us to do it.

Legality and safety a minor thing is it?

My BIL mentioned earlier in convo ‘oh we’ll get a lift with you’ but didn’t outright ask!

I think this was perhaps him hoping you would offer to take them. I don't think it necessarily means they wanted you to take more people than seats. There was the more sensible option of you or your DH giving them a lift then coming back for you/him. That is much more likely.

No seat belt no lift. As the driver I think, if pulled over u would be fined for child not having a seat belt on.