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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said no to taking them

65 replies

SarahAshley2 · 02/01/2023 19:30

Just at parents having lunch and my SIL wanted us to drive them home in our car (about a 20 minute journey). They drove over but were leaving their car at garage next door for MOT in morning.

Our car is a five seater (one seat has a car seat for my DS). So leaves two in front and then two small spaces in back. However there were six of us.. four adults and two kids. SIL said it’s fine, her 6yo daughter will sit on her lap and the rest of us just squeeze in. We were given no pre-warning of this arrangement until BIL slipped it in to conversation. DH said nothing and so it was left to me to say ‘how are you getting home by the way? We won’t be having you in our car as you’ll not fit and it’s illegal’. They didn’t happily agree, DH chipped in ‘well we can but it’s a squeeze’. Luckily someone else there then offered to drive them and that was that. However I feel annoyed DH didn’t really back me up and they just assumed it was ok.

Would you have done the same? I mean it isn’t a two minute journey and not only uncomfortable but actually illegal!

OP posts:
Trethew · 02/01/2023 21:02

I would have suggested they drive themselves home, one of the adults returns and dumps the car, then gets a lift back with you at your convenience

Keyansier · 02/01/2023 21:04

Not going to tag everyone who commented, but I did say in my post "each to their own" aka people can make their own decisions and choices. I don't see anything wrong with anyone who disagreed with me and say they wouldn't do what I said I would. It's people's personal choice.

bestchristmasever · 02/01/2023 21:04

Keyansier · 02/01/2023 21:04

Not going to tag everyone who commented, but I did say in my post "each to their own" aka people can make their own decisions and choices. I don't see anything wrong with anyone who disagreed with me and say they wouldn't do what I said I would. It's people's personal choice.

It's not personal choice when you're breaking the law.

MeridianB · 02/01/2023 21:08

YANBU! I can’t believe how casual some people are about car safety.

MeridianB · 02/01/2023 21:09

Trethew · 02/01/2023 21:02

I would have suggested they drive themselves home, one of the adults returns and dumps the car, then gets a lift back with you at your convenience

I like this. If only for the ‘farmer, hens, grain and fox’ puzzle element 😁

Glitterandcard · 02/01/2023 21:13

Keyansier · 02/01/2023 21:04

Not going to tag everyone who commented, but I did say in my post "each to their own" aka people can make their own decisions and choices. I don't see anything wrong with anyone who disagreed with me and say they wouldn't do what I said I would. It's people's personal choice.

No, it isn’t personal choice - government has removed that particular personal choice, and quite right too. It’s dangerous, illegal and it has potentially huge ramifications for, among others, minor children. This is not a “live and let live” kind of issue.

PrincessofWellies · 02/01/2023 21:17

Keyansier · 02/01/2023 21:04

Not going to tag everyone who commented, but I did say in my post "each to their own" aka people can make their own decisions and choices. I don't see anything wrong with anyone who disagreed with me and say they wouldn't do what I said I would. It's people's personal choice.

The Angela Dublin case to which I referred involved an overloaded vehicle and four people died as a result. 3 of them children aged 12/13. That's why there is a seatbelt law and it is against the law to overload a vehicle.

MeridianB · 02/01/2023 21:23

Overloaded vehicles also handle differently, adding massive risk.

www.theguardian.com/uk/2006/apr/11/ukcrime.uknews22

Blueblell · 02/01/2023 21:24

No I wouldn’t have kids on laps that is stupid but I would have run them back first if only a 20 min drive.

Lost123454 · 02/01/2023 21:27

How were they planning on getting home?

It sounds as though they were all sitting there looking gormless and hoping somebody would offer them a lift

Very odd

Why not, as adults, arrange your way of getting home in advance?

I think you did the right thing. If the car had have been stopped by the police it would have all ended in tears, and maybe a fine and points for the driver who had been pressurised in to doing something that they didn't want to do

KarmaStar · 02/01/2023 21:45

Family ? I would have done two journeys.
when he first mentioned it I would have asked if they were ok for a lift.
it was obvious you didn't want to take them as you said nothing then
you waited until it was time to go to make it clear it would not be you.

AdoraBell · 02/01/2023 21:49

YANBU definitely not. Only passengers with a seat belt.

ACynicalDad · 02/01/2023 21:49

I works have done 2 journeys, but never more people than seatbelts.

MrsClatterbuck · 02/01/2023 22:15

Keyansier · 02/01/2023 21:04

Not going to tag everyone who commented, but I did say in my post "each to their own" aka people can make their own decisions and choices. I don't see anything wrong with anyone who disagreed with me and say they wouldn't do what I said I would. It's people's personal choice.

Try telling a police officer that you not complying with the law in regard to seat belts and child seats is your personal choice.

ChubbyMorticia · 02/01/2023 22:34

Nope.

Wouldn’t have taken two trips, either. Time and gas money that we weren’t planning on spending. Your BIL knew his car was going for MOT, he should’ve made arrangements prior. Poor planning on his part doesn’t mean others need to scramble to fix it.

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