To have lost a bit of sympathy for her

[Aceofbase00]

A friend through work, she split up with a partner of 5 years in August. I offered her a lot of sympathy, apparently they'd just drifted apart and had become more like friends, and was apparently a mutual decision.
Now I've found out that she met someone else whilst she was still with the ex, broke up with her ex 2 weeks after meeting this other guy. The other guy is someone she's met a few times over the years, but they met again in July at a mutual friend's party and 'got talking'.
In late November the new guy was introduced to her family and other friends so they'd obviously been in an established relationship for a certain amount of time, even though she only left her ex in August.
I'm not saying she cheated but I have lost a bit of sympathy for her. There was even a photo of her posing with the new guy at this party, whilst she was still with her ex. I just think it's a bit shitty for him, even if technically she hasn't been unfaithful as I said.
It's just a bit frustrating when people play the victim and try to garner sympathy when she already had someone new lined up. Apparently her ex was terribly hurt by the break up and he's even removed all of her friends from social media, me being one of them.
I think people usually don't leave unless there's someone else waiting in the wings. It's likely none of my business but hey ho.

Also you've just been reported for the language you've used, nice one :)

Is she not allowed to be sad because she moved on quickly.

When I ended my first marriage I was sad about it. I was bloody glad I did it but it was still sad.

I think you need to do your 'friend' a favour and break it off with her

@Aceofbase00 so you can judge others but no one is allowed to judge you? Not very nice when the shoe is on the other foot is it?

@Aceofbase00 oooh no, not a report! I’m terrified 😉

You're proving yourself to be a bully and internet troll, but feel free to carry on. I didn't come here to be insulted so I will ask for the thread to be removed

My ex would have loved for people to feel like this. I knew DP while I was still with him, but we were actual friends until a couple of months after I left DP. I never have and never would cheat on anyone, even that abusive excuse for a human, but my goodness did he try to make out I had. Luckily the response from my friends was "we'll back you up in any way needed". I think he just wanted to blame something else for it, as he knew in reality I was tired of the shouting, name calling, money grabbing, laziness, etc....
I cried too, I was sad because I didn't know in which sly little ways he was going to try to make it all more difficult, just that he would.

until after I left ex*, not DP!

Always find you get better replies when you take the genders out of these questions.

Sounds like she wasn’t happy, maybe never was, someones maybe been stringing her along in the background for years too maybe.. Lots of if buts maybes.

Hopes she’s happy now. Experience suggests she won’t be.

Hope he finds someone worthy too. Experience suggest he wont.

Id love to know stats on if my friends experiences where the grass never turned out to be greener, is the norm. Seems like it’s only about 1 in 3, where things get better from our friendship groups. Only about 1 in 6 for the guys. I’m not a fan of people sticking together, i was a child in a DV relationship, but too often i hear ‘get out’ as the norm on here rather than people working through their challenges, over as something as silly as bins, politics or Jordan Peterson. (Andrew Tate i can understand lol)

This. Every time someone mentions an affair or an extramarital attraction on Mn, the hive mind screams ‘Well, do the moral thing and end your relationship before investigating anything else!’ Your friend did this.

I'm struggling to understand why her relationship is any of your business

Once again, if you're unable to share an opinion without resorting to insulting me, you'll be reported. Like you've just been too

Sorry you experienced a cheater OP. However, it does seem you are projecting here and assuming quite a lot, as a result. Can you not be happy for your friend?

I was in a very similar situation to your friend about 11 years ago. I met my now husband when I was on the verge of getting engaged to my bf of 6 years who I lived with. All very serious and long term. He just wasn't the one for me. I had been having doubts for ages and never had the courage to end things and when I met my husband I just knew it wasn't right and I needed to end things so I did.

It was still very sad, my ex was devastated and kept trying to change my mind and put the guilt on. We had lots of problems and a break up was probably always going to happen but he got to pass all the blame onto me for how quickly I moved on and absolve himself of any responsibility for things not working out. In a break up context you're very aware of friends taking sides and judgment coming from all angles.

Anyway - I've now been with my husband over 10 years and have two beautiful girls and ex is now married with twin boys and I did him a favour. As has your friend probably. It's easy to sit and make judgments from the sidelines but you won't really have any idea what her relationship was really like.

Please feel free to report me I only stated how you are coming across in your posts and am sug

Sorry posted to soon
Am suggesting that you look at yourself and the way you are coming across

No need to throw your toys out the pram because it's not going the way you expected and everyone piling on your 'friend' with you.

Also MN don't tend to remove threads just because you don't like the answers op.

Woah, some of these replies are harsh!

I have a friend who has had a few relationships that she's ended, and every time she has made sure she's got another man waiting in the wings. It does make me feel less sorry for her when things do end up going wrong

Listen, it's very simple. If you can't string a sentence together without swearing at someone, calling them a name and so on, you will get reported. I don't tolerate it. I didn't ask posters to agree with my OP. I asked posters to not verbally abuse me. I won't stand for it.

Yeah your right none of your business.

It sounds like she met someone else and ended her unhappy relationship before she started anything with the new guy. As we always advise people to do. If you find it unsavoury, that’s for you to decide. It doesn’t really reflect on her though.

No one needs sympathy however many people need empathy.

It's none of your business.

I think you're projecting your experiences onto your friend. Relationships are not black and white.

I ended my previous LTR when I was propositioned by another man. We had a brief physical relationship after I broke up with my ex, but I was still heartbroken (about my ex) for a very long time. I desperately wanted the relationship to work, but he was a lot less invested than me. It wasn't until I was pursued by another man that I could see this, and that I didn't need to settle for someone who treated me as an option. Didn't stop me grieving the relationship though.

Surely if she’s really your friend you’ll be glad for her happiness.

You don’t know the full story & you don’t think she cheated. So why be so negative about her falling in love? So what if it seems quick. Does that really affect you?

There are many reasons for people to leave relationships.

Good luck to them all.