To be hurt by this?

[Lis1992]

So my sister and her partner are staying. I had said to my parents that I’d pay for a takeaway for all tonight as they cooked last night. Then people changed the type of food they wanted but both takeaways are nearby. So parents said they’d get the pizza that two of us wanted and the chips that others wanted (next door) my mom said to me ‘so you just pay for yours and then it’s cheaper’ . In the end parents just paid for all but I was so hurt and insulted by this comment. I’d never say that. The second thing is, I was in the shower. We had all planned to watch a movie. I feel so left out but maybe I’m being too sensitive? I heard them all choosing a movie downstairs and joking around (or serious I don’t know!) saying they should wait for me. Saying ‘oh just tell her you guys had it on the tv and we started watching it’ and stuff. In the end I just said ah watch it without me I’ve seen it. But I’m upstairs upset now and don’t know if I’m being too sensitive. AIBU to be hurt?

I think OP is hurt that her parents paid for all of the takeaways except hers

They did pay for hers. They didn't offer initially possibly as the OP is easily offended.

The takeaway sounds like a non-issue. If you were ordering from somewhere different from everyone else then it makes sense they paid for one, you the other. They probably just thought they were making it cheaper and easier for you.

The shower thing I would probably have waited but wouldn't think of it as a big deal. Maybe they were irritated you went for a shower right when you all were meant to be watching a film.

These things are hard op. It could be that you are left out in subtle ways which don't come across well when you describe them here. It could also be you're too sensitive. Or a combination of the two - if you're constantly taking offence people might get tired of it and it ends up with you being a bit excluded. It's so hard to say from the outside though.

Sorry op but also this, there seems to be a lot of anxiety and over thinking about lots of things at present. Would you consider seeking some help with this?

You went from offering to paying for everyone to not paying a penny, and yet you’re aggrieved 🙄

It’s clear your offer to pay was fake and your parents saw through you.

I am going to guess you have a tendency to take things very personally.

From your point of view, your parents offered to pay for everyone’s take away, except yours. But from their point of view, there was 3 places to visit. It was easier for your mum to pay at the places she went and you pay for the place you went. Only you wanted something from where you went. Your mum thought she was doing a favour and saving you money. Doesn’t sound like her intention was to say ‘we will pay for everyone else’s but not yours’. She obviously rethought that and felt it was only fair she paid for yours too.

However, in this situation, I think you were wrong. You offered to pay for a takeaway so they didn’t have to cook. It ended up costing them money and you are still annoyed. When your mum said you could just pay for your own, you should have insisted you would give her the money. I pay for loads for my adult daughter. But if she offered to pay for a takeaway so I didn’t need to cook, then it turned into me having to go out and collect most of the food and pay I would be thinking ‘what was the point in this?’. But I would also point it out to her. In a lighthearted way.

When it comes to the movie, again, you weren’t in the shower. Because you could clearly hear what they were saying. People had been doing their own thing. You went off to get a shower, we’re out of the shower but still faffing around when you knew people were sat waiting to start a movie.

I would guess your family, often feel you are easily offended or they have to tip toe around you. If I were at my parents I would have shouted up to my brother ‘hurry up, we are starting the movie you will miss the beginning’ and put it on. I wouldn’t have sat round waiting when we had no clue how long he would be. or if I was in the shower and I could hear them in the living room, I would have shouted down I was going to be 5 mins.

But the conversation they had either was a joke, or a group of people that don’t feel they can be direct with a person so coming up with ways the head off their reaction but fed up of waiting.

I still want to know if the takeaway was in the house when the film choosing conversation was happening.

I assume op is 30/ 31 as she is born 1992? Unless her user name is a red herring!

Am I understanding this right -

You said I will pay for a chippy for us all, chip shop is next door.

Someone said they would rather get a pizza (which is more expensive) so your parents stepped in and said, we will pay for the pizza, you just get your chippy, it will be much cheaper for you anyway.

Playing peace keeper between you and your sibling probably.

I think they were being nice. You have no reason to be upset over that.

The shower thing - I imagine you went off to have a shower and sulk about the takeaway and they started without you rather than indulge your attention seeking sulk.

I don't mean to be rude but it is exhausting dealing with someone who sulks and gets offended over nothing so o can see why they did it. Especially if this is a regular occurrence.

This. Complete non event.

OP's other posts are just as non event-y. Guess some people just like to be riled about nothing.

Your poor parents. Who could be arsed with such endless drama?

So you wanted to be the one to pay for the takeaway for everyone, but when your mum said she’d pay for the others (as she was getting them from somewhere else), you’re annoyed that she didn’t suggest to also pay for yours too at that point?? Why should she have gone from not expecting to pay at all, to suddenly paying for everyone? Why didn’t you say ‘No I’m definitely paying Mum- I’ll give you cash for the others, or do a quick bank transfer now’ ?

The overheard film conversation honestly sounds like you have a history of being difficult about these things and they just wanted to get on with watching a film, so were trying to find a way of doing that without upsetting you. Obviously they didn’t know you could hear them. You could have said jokily at the point you heard them ‘Hey!! I can hear you you know! Give me 5 and I’ll be down and I’ll help choose one’ or something. Sounds like your family are used to you being super sensitive about things to be honest.

Way too sensitive.