To be absolutely pissed off with DS not sleeping

[Starsinnightsky]

teen DS who has autism has hardly slept for 3 nights now. Keeps saying he’s “scared and worried” about something but won’t tell me what so nothing I can do about it. He’s only slept a few hours here and there. He’s been having meltdowns all night. I’ve hardly slept either as had to be up with him. I’m starting to get really pissed off with him to be honest. Both me and him are so tired and exhausted by this point and he’s still not telling me what is worrying him this much and I have no idea what it could be and until he does I can’t see him sleeping properly.

He’s also been having meltdowns all day too

Would he be able to write it down?

Nope we’ve tried that

I really am at my wits end, this can’t go on much longer

Does he take melatonin?

Sleeping tablets? Insomnia and lack of sleep will be making the anxiety worse

Yep normally works but it’s doing absolutely nothing the past few nights

Does he know what's wrong? Would you be able to go through everything you can possibly think of and him answer yes/no.

No advice but my SEN daughter (4) has had crap sleep since school stopped.

I have so much empathy.

Is he feeling scared about going back to school after the hoildays? Maybe worried being out of routine?

Do you have to be up with him? Could you make sure he’s safe then just leave him to it?
My DD has stages like this, last time I absolutely couldn’t get to the bottom of it so just let her stay up in bed with me and she read on her kindle until about 4 am but I got some rest.

I had similar with my son. It was torture having so little sleep. I ended up on the phone to camhs in tears as I didn't know what else to do and I was exhausted. They gave him Lorazepam for 1 week. It did seem to help. If you're son is under camhs it might be worth calling to see if they can help. It really is so hard when they don't sleep.

When my son went through this (no SEN though), I bought him a set of mini worry dolls for him to tell him worries to before putting them under his pillow before going to sleep. It did the job. Might be worth a try, the novelty factor alone might help.

Ignore me if this is stupid or obvious but would he go to sleep with you lying next to him? In his bed, yours or on the sofa? He might not know what’s wrong. Poor both of you, I’m so sorry 💐

Absolute sympathy from me. My 21 autistic DS also did not sleep last night. Last time he pulled this trick he became overwhelming anxious and then psychotic

Can you just leave him to it?

Thanks everyone, I’ve already tried all this though but honestly thank you for the suggestions.

This is the only one I’ve not tried but I don’t know where to start as I honestly don’t know what it could be

It’s only been the past 3 nights though

Maybe but I’ve already asked him this and he said it wasn’t

Was just going to say this. Does he need constant attention? I’d just be removing the pressure and saying ‘oh I’m sorry you feel worried. Well I am here to talk to if you want to tell me why you’re worried’ and letting him do quiet activities such as reading or listening to audiobooks/music quietly.

He has challenges sleeping and feeling worried, but he needs to learn that others need to sleep, and develop coping mechanisms for when he can’t sleep. Your health is also important.

He’s apparently worried I’ll get “very angry” if he tells me what it is.

That's a worry. Reassure him there's nothing that would make you angry. Also meditation exercises can help with sleep --envisioning a safe place where worries can be safely expressed.

Could it be something bad that has already happened or something he has done and fearing the consequences?

Mine is younger but in this situation we do what we call - back to back where we face away from each other, he tells me the issue then walks out of the room and goes to his room.

I leave him and won't discuss it until he signals its OK