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Original poster

Struggling to conceive please please help

118 replies

infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:14

Hello,

I'm really struggling to conceive. I've had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to remove adhesions. The surgery went successfully however I do have one completely blocked tube. Other than that my doctor says I'm good to continue ttc.

My biggest concern however is that I have spotting before my period which lasts 5-7 days. Sometimes it's quite significant - others it's barely anything. My doctor was not concerned about this at all.....

I'm really concerned and fed up of my body not working properly.

I'm wondering if this is likely to be low progesterone?

If so, is this easy to sort out? Can it be done naturally?

I should add - I suffer greatly with stress :( my life is quite stressful and I don't know how much of this could be from that too? I started having spotting 5-7 days before my period a few years after I was in a bad car accident which made me think it was stress related.

Can anyone advise please? I feel like giving up

OP posts:
Taillighttoobright · 31/12/2022 18:20

My GP totally patronised me - or so I though - after I had been ttc for 4 years with no success. He said I needed to relax about it. I gave up at this point, booked a jujitsu course, and got pregnant almost immediately.

LongLiveGoblingKing · 31/12/2022 18:22

How long have you been trying to conceive?

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:22

@Taillighttoobright

I feel like I'm being patronised by mine too - I'm in such a dark place I can't even function with the weight of this.
I have also been told to relax by my doctor... hopefully relaxing will also unblock my tube 😒

OP posts:
IslaO · 31/12/2022 18:24

@infertilemertyl i feel you and please know you are not alone. So many of us in the same boat.

youve taken the steps and got the right procedures done so that’s a massive positive.

from experience, male factor can be huge. Has your partner had a semen analysis?

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:26

@LongLiveGoblingKing

2 years prior to the surgery. Apparently there's no way I would have got pregnant before the surgery regardless.

My worry is this spotting - I feel like I'm being fobbed off that it's nothing. Most of the time it starts the week before my period - I worry that I don't even have a chance for implantation!

I haven't had any tests for progesterone as that would mean writing a 5000 word letter to the receptionist to explain why I'm worthy of a doctors appointment. Sorry, I sound so bitter (I promise I'm normally a nice person) I'm just at the end now and seriously struggling ☹️

OP posts:
Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:27

@IslaO

Thank you - I'm so so sorry you are going through the same. I really wouldn't wish this on anyone.

No he hasn't - we have discussed this but in my gut I think it's just me because of the known issues I've had :(

OP posts:
TakeMe2Insanity · 31/12/2022 18:39

I’d highly recommend going and seeing a private fertility doctor. Infertility is long and horrible.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:45

@TakeMe2Insanity

I'm worried this would void any future potential nhs ivf rounds?

The nhs have in general been very good with me but I do feel dismissed.

OP posts:
Frosty1000 · 31/12/2022 18:46

I feel your pain and it must be very frustrating and worrying for you. When you say doctor do you mean a GP? Or a gynaecologist specialising in fertility?

Pointless being told to relax if there's hormone issues that need to be checked/addressed if you are for example not ovulating or have a low egg reserve. I had fertility issues and thought you should have been referred to someone specific in that field.

Hope you have some success soon.

Blahburst · 31/12/2022 18:49

Save your pennies and go private. Infertility is a bitch. 💐

Frosty1000 · 31/12/2022 18:49

infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:45

@TakeMe2Insanity

I'm worried this would void any future potential nhs ivf rounds?

The nhs have in general been very good with me but I do feel dismissed.

Check your IVF allowance in your health authority as some may have age cut offs or no allocation at all or just one round. I went private as they wouldn't offer me anything so don't set your heart on NHS as it may be a long old wait that takes you over the age cut off and you may waste time.

Wifflywafflywoo · 31/12/2022 18:50

I did a hormone test from a website, had the results back via private lab/nurse. Took results and info on my cycles etc to a private reproductive endocrinologist who took one look and wrote a letter to mu gp demanding they refer me straight for IVF. In the meantime I followed the book It Starts With The Egg. We managed a lovely, healthy egg haul and a then a baby. Cost to us probably around £250.

I spent years being fobbed off by my gp. On one occasion he told me to cheer up as that could work just as well as any drug.

Best of luck OP, I completely understand the pain you are in and hope you get through it all xx

frangipani13 · 31/12/2022 18:51

How old are you, OP? I wouldn’t hold out much hope for IVF on the NHS a lot of areas won’t fund it and if you’re over a certain age you won’t qualify either. I don’t know if you’re anywhere near but there is a clinic called Bourn in Cambridgeshire where I had some private testing done which only cost about £200. They tested my progesterone, AMH, husbands semen analysis as well as scans. When I was TTC my first my GP ordered 21 day bloods which is when progesterone peaks i believe so hopefully that should be ok for them to sort? Cambridge IVF are also linked to the NHS ibbelieve and offer some lower cost options, I think they just charge costs.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:51

@Frosty1000

Gynaecologist but I think he is also a fertility specialist as he told me to come back to him in a year if I'm still having problems.

He was happy with my ovaries and said he could see I am ovulating. They are apparently healthy and normal. It's only the one blocked tube that's the problem.

I just don't understand why I get this spotting - i do often have to wear one of those little panty liner things as it's like a brown discharge I get, sometimes it's red blood and others it's very minor. all of this happens from 5-7 days before my period begins. It's so frustrating but I'm so worried this is going to be another obstacle in the way of conceiving.

I also have discussed this with another two doctors (gp and the lady who does my smears) and they both said it's fine. Hopefully it's me who is wrong, I just don't get it.

OP posts:
bellamountain · 31/12/2022 18:53

infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:45

@TakeMe2Insanity

I'm worried this would void any future potential nhs ivf rounds?

The nhs have in general been very good with me but I do feel dismissed.

You don't need to tell the NHS? I would go to a recommended fertility clinic and take it from there. An initial consultation might be all you need just to help put your mind at rest. If you can also look at ways to minimise stress. Another poster mentioned jujitsu or meditation, yoga? Acupuncture is another way to help release stress. And reading, get into some really good books to help take your mind away from conceiving during your relaxation time.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:53

@frangipani13

I'm not too far from Cambridge so this could be an option - thank you. I'm very clueless on the ivf process with the nhs and private so this is helpful xx

OP posts:
Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:53

@frangipani13

Sorry - I'm 30 x

OP posts:
Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:56

@bellamountain

I do try to minimise my stress but a lot comes from my job (I'm self employed), which I do love but I find it impossible to switch off and relax. I can't even tell you the last time I've felt relaxed or calm - I seem to live in a constant state of anxiety. I have seen a therapist about this too but they only seem interested in putting me on medication which I want to avoid.

I will definitely look into yoga - I'll look into anything at this point to try and find at least some peace x

OP posts:
Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:58

@Wifflywafflywoo

It's incredible how insensitive gps are to all of this! I'm so sorry you have struggled too.

I do have that book but I haven't yet read it. I will read it - I've heard it has recipes/nutritional suggestions in it too. I should add - my diet is not great. I'm very slightly above average in weight but I eat far too much sugar and drink a lot of sugar free fizzy, caffeinated drinks. I assume this is also pretty bad?

I don't take any vitamins either. Sorry I feel like it's alll coming out now like confession! 😬

OP posts:
Frosty1000 · 31/12/2022 19:01

If you're 30 now then by the time you're at the top of the NHS list you could be so much older - please don't be offended by that comment, I'm not looking to upset you but as I've been through it wanted to let you know how it worked.

I went private and I was treated like a queen and within a month of the initial consultation I was booked in for the injection practice and ordering medicine. Yes it was costly and a risk due to what was wrong but I didn't want to regret not doing it.

frangipani13 · 31/12/2022 19:03

You might find acupuncture helpful too, it definitely relaxed me and sorted out my cycles when they were a bit all over the place. My acupuncturist knew I was pregnant before I did! They might be able to shed some light on the spotting too. Swimming, walking, meditation, warm baths, knitting, painting, you definitely need to find a way of controlling your stress as it will be a factor. When you’re stressed you release cortisol the stress hormone, which makes your body an inhospitable/ unsafe place for an egg to fertilise. Obviously not the case for everyone.

AluckyEllie · 31/12/2022 19:09

I went for a private fertility check and it was about £300. Bloods and USS for me, sperm analysis for husband. Well worth it because I put my mind at rest about an obvious cause and jumped the queue for an USS. It would not have had any effect on me going for NHS IVF and actually would have sped the process up as the private clinic was the one I’d have used (with nhs funding.)
They told me to go back to GP with results and start the referral process. I then moved jobs (from icu nurse shift work to 9-5 in an office) and got pregnant so for me I think stress was a huge factor in not getting pregnant. Could you change roles/company/shifts?

Wifflywafflywoo · 31/12/2022 19:18

We looked at it like this...

We might only get one shot at this. Do we half arse it and if it doesn't work regret that we didn't do more? Or do we go all in and know we tried our best?

Not going to lie, I was practically licking the vending machine at work, thought I would die without my daily caffeine and I dreaded vitamin taking time as I swear I friggin rattled. Taking my own blood for the home test via finger pricks will forever haunt us both in dark humour. But I kept a photo of my referral letter on my phone and just kept reading it. I drank water like it was going out of fashion and self isolated myself (peak covid times) as much as I could. I got my bmi down to 23, lost a stone and actually felt much better. I didn't really exercise as I was working a lot and we were in and out of government lockdowns. So just the dog walk around the estates. I was also super stressed at work so I started listening to music on my headphones as much as possible. It's amazing the difference dealing with bellends whilst listening to Tina Turner has on your blood pressure.

Honestly you can do this. Whenever you go to eat crap just think of having a baby. Give yourself the odd treat day too.

MuhMuh · 31/12/2022 19:25

Have you considered functional medicine?

instagram.com/drsohere_hormonesandhealth?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

this female doctor specialises in hormone balancing naturally.

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 19:25

Just go privately for IVF, no point moaning about a situation you have the power to resolve

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