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Original poster

Struggling to conceive please please help

118 replies

infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 18:14

Hello,

I'm really struggling to conceive. I've had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to remove adhesions. The surgery went successfully however I do have one completely blocked tube. Other than that my doctor says I'm good to continue ttc.

My biggest concern however is that I have spotting before my period which lasts 5-7 days. Sometimes it's quite significant - others it's barely anything. My doctor was not concerned about this at all.....

I'm really concerned and fed up of my body not working properly.

I'm wondering if this is likely to be low progesterone?

If so, is this easy to sort out? Can it be done naturally?

I should add - I suffer greatly with stress :( my life is quite stressful and I don't know how much of this could be from that too? I started having spotting 5-7 days before my period a few years after I was in a bad car accident which made me think it was stress related.

Can anyone advise please? I feel like giving up

OP posts:
Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 20:27

@BT11

It's so strange isn't it!! Thank you so much for replying.

I'm so sorry about your losses♥️♥️♥️

OP posts:
Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 20:28

@Daisywithastory

Thank you so much, I agree it really is a dark, nasty place to be in.

I will look into the vitamins as well xx

OP posts:
Twiggywinkle13 · 31/12/2022 20:35

DH and I tried for 3 years, I was in a very stressful job. I was signed off for a month and decided in that time to leave. I found out I was pregnant the day after I left. I think, for me, stress played a massive part in my fertility issue!

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 20:38

@Twiggywinkle13

Omg that's unreal 😱 I'm so pleased it worked out for you in the end xx

I've got to find a way to get my stress down.
My job is my own business so I've got to try and be a bit gentler on myself I think. I stress at everything - it's completely irrational

OP posts:
Twiggywinkle13 · 31/12/2022 20:43

I completely understand ‘just leaving’ was an extremely privileged position to be in for me and I know it would be much harder with your own business but hopefully even a way to manage the stress might help too. You have my every sympathy, it was awful!

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 20:50

@Twiggywinkle13

No I totally get it - before being self employed I had no idea how I would even stay on at my job if I did manage to even get pregnant as it was so manual.

Thank you so much, it really does mean a lot everyone whose taken the time to help me tonight xxx♥️

OP posts:
Porridgeislife · 31/12/2022 21:02

Sorry to hear you are having issues, it really is incredibly stressful when you are trying so hard and failing to have a baby.

Can I say, some of the advice you’ve been given by your consultant is a bit weird.

If your tube was so diseased it needs to be removed for IVF then your doctor should have removed or clipped it at the time, it’s not good practice (or good for your fertility) to line you up for multiple surgeries, I’d query this.

Spotting before your period is a classic endometriosis symptom which also lines up with tubal blockages and adhesions. Did they give you a reason for the adhesions?

Get yourself on the NHS waiting list for IVF, even if you’ve been told the tube needs to be removed.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 21:15

@Porridgeislife

Yes I queried this at the time too... I asked why it would need to be removed before ivf and he said it can have implications for implantation... I then questioned this again and said I thought this was only the case if the tube had fluid in it (hydrosalpinx) and he said not. The tube was also confirmed not to contain fluid. It was just blocked with adhesions.

Again with the endometriosis - this is what I had the surgery for! I had suspected endo but the histology showed that I didn't have any endo at all - they were just adhesions.. he did say I could have had endo in the past that has now gone but the damage has already been caused. I've discussed this with others (another surgeon) who have said this is plausible. I have had confirmed endo in the past.

This did all concern me but he is the head consultant in my area - I heavily researched his qualifications and asked (A LOT) of questions prior to the surgery which he answered to my satisfaction. He is highly qualified and even teaches others and has conducted studies which I have seen published online.

Does this sound right to you?

OP posts:
GrapefruitGin · 31/12/2022 21:38

I had two blocked tubes and before I could proceed with private ivf I needed them clipped. You cannot proceed with ivf - nhs or private - if you have fluid in your uterus. You absolutely won’t be able to have an embryo transfer until your tubes are cleared or clipped/removed.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 21:48

@GrapefruitGin

I don't have fluid in my uterus or tubes.

I just have one blocked tube with adhesions - why does this need to be removed before ivf?
My surgeon wouldn't go into it as he wants me to try naturally for a year and sees no reason why I won't be successful naturally. X

OP posts:
Cuddlesinthekitchen · 31/12/2022 21:52

@infertilemertyl

I had similar with spotting and then my actual period lasted around 24-36 hours with a day or 2 of more spotting which only started once I stopped the pill to TTC.

i had day 3 and day 21 bloods and an ultrasound scan on the NHS as we had been TTC for a year but the wait to be seen was approx a year so we saw a private fertility doctor.

He looked over all my results and he said that my scan actually showed the lining of the womb was insufficient hence the short period and spotting and that the egg could actually be getting fertilised but there wasn’t enough lining for it to implant and suggested that could be due to a progesterone issue.

I started on progesterone pessaries which I had to do every day from ovulation until my period came, unless I got pregnant and then I had to continue them until 10 weeks.

I also had a HyCoSy done prior to starting the progesterone (no issues) and as it happens I fell pregnant the first month.

All in all, the consultation, the HyCoSy and the medication cost just under £1000 and it was worth every penny.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 22:00

@Cuddlesinthekitchen

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me.

Interesting regarding the pill - I had breakthrough bleeding for most of the time k was on the pill. It suited me for a while but then I just had random spotting - I did take the pill continuously though to prevent periods - I came off it completely back in 2018.

I've had scans, mri, a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and an hsg (unsure if this is similar to the hycosy - I was under the impression they were both very similar) and everything has shown as normal except the adhesions which have been removed and the one blocked tube with adhesions. The reason my surgeon says I haven't been getting pregnant is because my ovaries were stuck to my uterus with the adhesions and the eggs were all just dropping down (?!) instead of getting where they needed to be. He has confirmed he can see I have been ovulating from the small cyst he removed off the ovary with the blocked tube. He's also said my ovaries are healthy and he has no further concerns. He was really optimistic and not at all concerned that I have a blocked tube and only one working one - he said how you only need one tube to conceive and the chances aren't that much lower with just one. I wasn't optimistic or happy at all and he continued to say how great my results were!

I just feel so conflicted as in my head having only one working tube seems so concerning and in hand with this weird spotting I'm just struggling to feel any bit of positivity at all.

Sorry - massively offloaded to you there! X

OP posts:
BeatrixPottery · 31/12/2022 22:04

And I’m saying this as someone who struggled to conceive for 5 years. You’re a little bit ‘silly’ (I could be more blunt but I won’t be) to dismiss the fact it could be your partner and not as well as you, because your gut says so 🙄. It’s a long time since I’ve likely but isn’t it something like the male is solely responsible in 30% of cases. And in 50% both the male and female are found to have problems.

im not surprised the NHS haven’t mentioned your partner weirdly they still seem to believe in the immaculate conception.

We went to a very reputable clinic and had the tests that @AluckyEllie mentions, the £300 seems like a drop in the ocean now and some of the best money we ever spent. You won’t invalidate your NHS funding with this. When I did, granted this was in 2015, we could have taken the results back to our GP and gone from there, but we decided to do IVF at that clinic and they applied for the NHS funding we were eligible for given where we lived. It was via the Care Fertility Group.

Jellycats4life · 31/12/2022 22:05

I don’t know if it’s any comfort, but I used to spot for days and days before my period I used to worry too, but managed to conceive. So… it could be something or it could be nothing.

Post children, I hardly ever get it anymore. Bit annoying as it used to be a convenient warning that my period was on its way.

Twizbe · 31/12/2022 22:17

I spot before my period. It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant with my eldest and 6 months with youngest.

The spotting had no bearing on my ability (or lack of) to get pregnant.

I've since been diagnosed with a cervical ectropion and I think that causes some of my spotting.

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 22:20

@BeatrixPottery

Oh I know I'm being silly - so don't worry about offending me! My partner has been recommended to have tests by my gyno which we will be doing. In my gut I do think it's me because of the proof we already have but I'm not ruling him out at all or just ignoring it because of my gut - he will be having tests in the new year too.

Thank you so much - I'm taking on board everything that is being recommended to me. X

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Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 22:22

@Jellycats4life

Yes definitely comforting thank you!!

I too used to like the hint that my period was on its way! It's only over the last couple of years I've began to question if it's right.

Thank you ♥️♥️

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Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 22:23

@Twizbe

Thank you for sharing with me ♥️ I'm pleased you got pregnant x

OP posts:
alanabennett · 31/12/2022 22:31

nutbrownhare15 · 31/12/2022 20:14

I'd advise reading the book taking Charge of Your Fertility

I was going to suggest the same. We had secondary fertility and went the IVF route. I also did acupuncture and took Chinese herbs. I'm in the US so I had to pay for everything out of pocket but it was worth it. I went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist at a private fertility clinic. Remember that gynecologists are not the same as fertility experts.

I wish you the very best.

(I'm now the mum of three ❤️)

Floatyunicorn · 31/12/2022 22:43

Just another poster saying dont under estimate the effect stress can take when TTC.
I fell pregnant then unfortunately miscarried, and was obsessed with getting pregnant again, I was so obsessed. Each month that went by and my period turned up I was getting myself more worked up and upset. Eventually I let it go, stopped trying as much and bam, pregnant that month.

Also start on the folic acid now, only cheap from supermarkets or prenatal vitamins, they definitely will help!!
Good luck xx

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 22:48

@Floatyunicorn

Thank you - it is incredible how many are saying about stress. Not sure if I mentioned this (in one of my many posts in this thread) but my gyno also said this and he mentioned how much I was destroying myself with the stress of it all. I was absolutely hysterical - I'm a huge, huge control freak so having anything go remotely wrong in my life just makes me spiral.

I'm so happy you got pregnant in the end ♥️♥️

When the spotting began this morning I had such a meltdown. I'm only just holding myself together tonight at a family party when really I'm counting down the seconds until I can go home and cry ☹️

I promise I'm listening to all advice - it means the world to me that I've had so many replies- I'm truly grateful ♥️♥️

OP posts:
Blaggingit123 · 31/12/2022 22:55

I have spotting as well for 3-5 days and also had it both times I’ve conceived (ie had the 3-5 days spotting but no period actually arrived). Took 18 months to conceive 1st and 1 month to conceive 2nd. Spotting only started when trying to conceive but has continued since then (over 10 years but been on mini pill for about 7 of those years)

usedtolovenaps · 31/12/2022 22:55

How long has it been since the surgery? Sorry if you mentioned and I missed it.
You mentioned there was no way you could conceive before surgery, is that why drs aren't referring you for IVF? From what I understood it sounds there was a problem which they solved with the surgery and they now expect you to conceive.

Depending on how long it's been since surgery, I'd either continue trying or go straight for IVF. I'd be looking to get DH checked out just in case.

usedtolovenaps · 31/12/2022 23:00

I'm sorry OP, just read the second page of the thread and saw what your Dr said. I'd follow their advice then and try to conceive naturally since you've had the surgery now and I'd advise to try reduce the stress as you said you're very stressed in life/at work and it can absolutely have an impact ❤

Original poster
infertilemertyl · 31/12/2022 23:06

@usedtolovenaps

Only two months - I know it's early days yet - I'm just upset that the spotting hasn't gone as I assumed that would go with whatever they removed from me. It's the spotting I'm terrified is going to cause complications. I think because I stilll have the spotting im now questioning his credibility (I know that's so bad and unfair of me but I can't help it).

He flat out refused to discuss ivf with me (I did ask as I wanted every option covered for my own peace of mind) but he was so optimistic and even told me off for sitting there crying and being so negative. ☹️

Do you think my surgeon does sound right? I appreciate I look like an absolute twat wanting advice from others instead of my actual surgeon ! I just feel like I'm going mad with questions.

Thank you so much ♥️♥️

OP posts: