To want to smack my mother in law

[yummymummyismyname]

Joking obviously 🤣🤣

My MIL has been staying with us since the 18th and isn't leaving until Monday as she lives in the UK so it is a long way to come (we live abroad). Frankly, she has been nothing but difficult since the day she arrived (3 days early!) and has spent the entire time critiquing my parenting skills whilst not offering to help with anything, she has not even offered to cook one meal or help wash up in her whole time here and I am thoroughly sick of it. My DH is out at work most days as he's a doctor so it is left up to me to host her as i'm a SAHM and I am sick to the back teeth of her. Naturally, DH thinks she's amazing and can do no wrong as he is a proper mummy's boy but he does not hear the rude way in which she speaks to me. What should I do to address this as DH won't listen to me when I complain to him and I can't have this again.

Thanks x

This sounds like a great opportunity to use this polite phrase to your MiL when DH is there. (learnt on a thread a couple of years ago)
”Did you mean to be rude, or was it a mistake?”
😁

I would want to punch her too, she sounds vile. Don’t cook for her or clean for her. Let husband do it all. She is not your responsibility daft wench

This OP.

Encourage one of your SIL's to get pregnant. She can go there then and "help"

You have my sympathy. I've been at my MIL for 3 days with her critiquing my parenting. In the end I said, hey you know what you're obviously so much better at this parenting lark than I am, why I don't leave DS here with you for a week so you can potty train him in your house with all your cream carpets, whilst I spend a week away. That soon shut her up.
I find the best way to deal with it, is to give as good as you get. Let her know you won't tolerate rudeness. I've also made lots of plans to have time visiting my friends and then lots of time for my DH to have quality time with his mum and DS, whilst I have child free time. It's worked well. But we still have 3 days to go so who knows how that will go. I'm so so ready to go home.

I should also add u put up with MIL bad behaviour for 10 years before I decided enough was enough. Now I call her out on it. I live abroad too so fortunately don't have to see her often but when I do I pull her up on it. Most of the time she is very ignorant, says she doesn't understand my problem so then I explain it to her and tell her exactly what is not OK.

I find it helps with rude adults to treat them as you would rude toddlers. Explain slowly and carefully why what they said was rude or unkind. Repeat until subject gets fed up of the constant helpful explanations. They find this really annoying in my experience so it is strangely satisfying but it is also helpful for those such as your DP for example who stand by and affect not to realise the impact of bad behaviour. Ultimately if you regard your DP as the arbiter of her behaviour and complain to him then it's not surprising she doesn't take you seriously. Talk to her, be polite but ruthless. Leave your DP out of it or it gives him more power and diminishes yours.

I’d present her with concrete facts. “MIL, I don’t want to fall out with you but so far you’ve criticised a, b, c, d and e. I can’t keep on feeling on edge in my own home. Please could you not keep talking to me like this?”

Then, every time she criticises you, say “You’re criticising my parenting again. Could you not?” If she’s rude, say something like, “Please don’t instruct me like that.”

She’s a guest. She’s not your mother and you’re not a child. She doesn’t get to give to you continual unsolicited ‘guidance’. Be very clear about what’s not okay but keep it factual.