Page 3 | to ask again for payment? very small amount

lilila · 2022-12-30T16:49:12+00:00

A friend asked if I could pick something up for her whilst shopping, which I did. it only cost around £3 She said that she would send tge money over to me. I did mention the item in a message the next day,and she said that she needs to pay me Do I just let it go now? It's not so much tge amount, but the principle. I could factor it in the next time we meet (for example, if I pay I could add it on, or take it off a future payment to her) I am thinking its negligible, so to forget about it..I really hate things like this though, and they can add up!

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/12/2022 18:34

lilila · 30/12/2022 18:20

It wasnt about the 25p, it was that she told me I was paying the higher amount..it does sound really silly though!

Basically you've noticed she's a tightwad and now you can't unsee it. It's not £3, it's probably not even the principle, it's that she's a taker.

I get it.

Livelovebehappy · 30/12/2022 18:34

I think it’s cheeky, and wouldn’t chase her again for it, but it would bug me. If it happened with me, and she offered to pay it back, I’d say it’s okay, no need, but just to not bother to repay it seems rude. Lesson learnt though. If she asks again, get the money upfront.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 30/12/2022 18:37

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/12/2022 18:34

Basically you've noticed she's a tightwad and now you can't unsee it. It's not £3, it's probably not even the principle, it's that she's a taker.

I get it.

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This.

I have friends that I wouldn’t bat an eyelid about £3 because it’s swings and roundabouts.

I have a relative, however, that even 20p would bother me because they are always the person who pays less and they never offer up money, you always have to chase them or take the hit.

EllesB · 30/12/2022 18:42

£3 is well below my “don’t worry about it” threshold when it comes to picking things up for friends.

Jasmino1o · 30/12/2022 18:44

Ok, it seems there is more to the story then isn’t there OP?

If it something that happens often it is a bit tiresome, especially when the line “I’ll pay you back” is used and then it never happens. It’s more of the expectation of you paying more every time, or you buying something for her and that she just doesn’t repay.

toocold54 · 30/12/2022 18:45

Unless you need the money then I’d give it a few days.

A while back I owed my friend £3 and I just never had the change on me and then I completely forgot about it.
Then I saw the item and it jogged my memory so I made sure to get change that day and give it to her.
Now I would just transfer it over straight away.

I don’t think she sounds like an intentional CF but if you borrow something then you should give it back, regardless of the amount.

I’d give it a few days and then bring up the item and see if it jogs her memory.
If not you might have to be more straightforward and just ask her outright.

YouWouldNotBelieveIt · 30/12/2022 18:47

Leave it, but don't do any more errands for her.

toocold54 · 30/12/2022 18:48

£3 is well below my “don’t worry about it” threshold when it comes to picking things up for friends.

It is for you but it wouldn’t be for most people.

The NMW is £9.50 so if that happens just twice you’ve lost an entire hours pay just because someone hadn’t bothered paying you back.

susiesuelou · 30/12/2022 18:51

I honestly cannot imagine asking a friend for £3 for something from the shop. I'd be so embarrassed.

Original poster

lilila · 30/12/2022 19:00

Jasmino1o · 30/12/2022 18:44

Ok, it seems there is more to the story then isn’t there OP?

If it something that happens often it is a bit tiresome, especially when the line “I’ll pay you back” is used and then it never happens. It’s more of the expectation of you paying more every time, or you buying something for her and that she just doesn’t repay.

I guess a little..I had a friend years ago whomslways borrowed from me, but never paid back fully..even asking if I had spare change so he could but some 'treats'..there was an occasion whereby I really needed some money back that I had lent him, but he didn't want to give it back as it was 'raining'..my tolerance might have been affected from those days 😂

there have been a few small things with this friend, and I guess thats why it has bothered me.
the friend had forgotten to buy birthday/Xmas gifts for my DS over the past couple of years..i have bought for her DD, and don't give to recieve, but maybe that has contributed to this feeling a little

OP posts:

Robin233 · 30/12/2022 19:03

Remember:
Only lend what you can afford to loose
Or loose the friendship / tel relationship!

amiold · 30/12/2022 19:11

For god sake...

I think if £3 matters between friends. Don't be friends.

bravelittletiger · 30/12/2022 19:29

You definitely are keeping tabs. If you're genuinely so skint you need £3 back then fair enough but otherwise you sound properly tight. Your subsequent posts have confirmed that- you've given an example where you paid 50p more than someone else for a bill and have noted it and clearly more every time someone has more expensive items than you when you go for coffee. It's not a good trait to have- I would try and be a bit more conscious about how tight you're being and try to nip it in the bud.

squidgybits · 30/12/2022 19:37

I hate people who do this and it is about the principle
It does add up and it is CFery
If you ask a pal to pick something up for you, you pay, or you go buy it yourself, including you the one with the well off friend you asked to buy tena pads, I assume she drove and went out of her way to get them for you and they are not cheap. Why would you not pay her back? Friendship is not an answer, I have dumped many CFers for this exact reason, it starts off a few quid here n there.....

MsRosley · 30/12/2022 19:43

lilila · 30/12/2022 19:00

I guess a little..I had a friend years ago whomslways borrowed from me, but never paid back fully..even asking if I had spare change so he could but some 'treats'..there was an occasion whereby I really needed some money back that I had lent him, but he didn't want to give it back as it was 'raining'..my tolerance might have been affected from those days 😂

there have been a few small things with this friend, and I guess thats why it has bothered me.
the friend had forgotten to buy birthday/Xmas gifts for my DS over the past couple of years..i have bought for her DD, and don't give to recieve, but maybe that has contributed to this feeling a little

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I have a friend who has form for always 'forgetting' her purse if we went to the shops or a cafe. Over the years it became really clear that she manipulated situations to get other people to pay for her, and she never ever returned the favour. I do still see her occasionally but my generous husband is under strict orders to never pay for anything for her under any circumstances. There is only so much piss taking you can take in one lifetime.

Theydoyaknow · 30/12/2022 20:04

Mortified for you.

FuntCase · 30/12/2022 20:12

This sounds like it’s more about the person than the money. You don’t mind other friends buying more expensive coffees etc when you meet so you’re “down” there, but this is riling you up? Just say you don’t like her and say no from now on. Or get the money first.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 30/12/2022 20:46

You should both get Monzo. I can request money from my friends and it annoys them until they pay or cancel

pompomdaisy · 30/12/2022 21:05

My friend and I usually owe each other between £5-£10 as one gets coffees one week and maybe two weeks later I will repay and visa versa. It seems a bit petty to take a hump from £3 on this one week. Go for coffee then say 'your turn to pay'. It doesn't need to be agonised over!

Holliegee · 30/12/2022 21:08

There have been times when £3 was 10% of my weekly food budget for me and 2 children so if you need the money,remind her.

bravelittletiger · 30/12/2022 22:37

squidgybits · 30/12/2022 19:37

I hate people who do this and it is about the principle
It does add up and it is CFery
If you ask a pal to pick something up for you, you pay, or you go buy it yourself, including you the one with the well off friend you asked to buy tena pads, I assume she drove and went out of her way to get them for you and they are not cheap. Why would you not pay her back? Friendship is not an answer, I have dumped many CFers for this exact reason, it starts off a few quid here n there.....

Because friendship IS the answer. Unless you're genuinely skint and can't afford it or it is a pattern of behaviour where the implication is that the other party is taking you for a ride then £3 or a pack of Tena pads should be willingly given between friends.

ConfusedmumUC · 30/12/2022 22:45

I can honestly say if a friend asked me to grab something for them it wouldn’t even cross my mind to ask for it back unless it was £20+ and happened a few times. Just not the way my brain works!

UseAMuckySock · 30/12/2022 22:49

I’d leave it - but make a mental note to never help her out again

velvetiserenthusiast · 30/12/2022 22:49

Theydoyaknow · 30/12/2022 20:04

Mortified for you.

Same - so embarrassing

bravelittletiger · 30/12/2022 22:52

UseAMuckySock · 30/12/2022 22:49

I’d leave it - but make a mental note to never help her out again

I honestly don't think you can say you're friends with someone if you've made "a mental note to never help her out again". That's basically the opposite of friendship.