Page 2 | to ask again for payment? very small amount

lilila · 2022-12-30T16:49:12+00:00

A friend asked if I could pick something up for her whilst shopping, which I did. it only cost around £3 She said that she would send tge money over to me. I did mention the item in a message the next day,and she said that she needs to pay me Do I just let it go now? It's not so much tge amount, but the principle. I could factor it in the next time we meet (for example, if I pay I could add it on, or take it off a future payment to her) I am thinking its negligible, so to forget about it..I really hate things like this though, and they can add up!

itsgettingweird · 30/12/2022 17:41

If someone was heading over to mine and said "can I get anything on the way" I'd only ever ask for items up to value if about a fiver.

I'd then offer transfer or to pay next coffee.

Normally we just say "forget about it" but the person who had the favour will always remember and return it somehow next time.

But nah - I couldn't be bothered to chase £3. But if there was no obvious intention of tot for tat I wouldn't offer again. That way it does actually end up adding up!

itsgettingweird · 30/12/2022 17:42

TrentCrimm · 30/12/2022 17:21

I mean if you need it, go for it, but the principle? No not for me.

I reckon there's probably a £10-15 'float' between me and my mates, where between various coffees, parking fees, pick ups etc none of us know who owes who

Yes - this sums up what I was trying to say better!

UWhatNow · 30/12/2022 17:42

Can’t believe some of the replies on here…

If someone asks you to buy them something then it’s incumbent on them to pay you the money. Even if it was 50p! Anything else is CFery.

I would be too embarrassed (and irritated) to chase but it would leave a sour taste with me if the person didn’t immediately give me the money they owe. That’s the right and proper thing, not just assuming and expecting other people to pay for your shit.

harrassedmumto3 · 30/12/2022 17:42

That's cringey.
I remember when I had Covid for the first time and was desperately ill. I asked a well-off friend to pick up some Tena lady for me. She did and sent me her bank details.
I've never forgotten that. I would die a death before I asked for the money back in that situation.
Unless you're in dire need of the money, I would let it go. £3 is an embarrassing amount to ask back. I wouldn't do the favour again in your position though.

Original poster

lilila · 30/12/2022 17:49

Thank you for the replies..I will leave the asking! I don't need the money, it has just irritated me. I remember a time a while back when we were sharing something that was, say, £10.50..she offered to pay £5 and I pay the rest..I would have offered to pay the larger amount anyway, but wouldn't ask the other person to.
I have given her plenty of lifts etc with no expectation for payment, so it's not about that..it just irked me for some reason!

OP posts:

Flapjackquack · 30/12/2022 17:59

I would have said at the time don’t worry about it. It’s £3. My friends are worth more than £3 to me.

starsparkle08 · 30/12/2022 17:59

I wouldn’t chase it , but I would be wary of doing anything more costly for her . I’d always reimburse a friend however ‘little ‘

arethereanyleftatall · 30/12/2022 18:03

I guess it depends what kind of a relationship you both have and how skint you both are. For example, if you go round her house for tea and a biscuit does she charge you £1?

Because like others have said, £3 between friends evens itself out normally.

And. I know she says she'd pay you, but depending on your relationship, she might be gobsnacked that you asked.

Original poster

lilila · 30/12/2022 18:05

I dont generally keep tabs on things..for example, i regularly go for coffee with another friend who has more expensive items than me..it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I just can't imagine asking someone to get me something for me and then not paying for it..I don't feel right until I've given the money back to them

OP posts:

somuchtolearnabout · 30/12/2022 18:08

Generally I would say let it go as long as it's not a significant amount, but I must admit I'm actually a little shocked that you'd even consider asking someone to pay you back for a £3 item in the first place! That's like grabbing a coffee for a friend then asking them to transfer you the money 🙈

UWhatNow · 30/12/2022 18:10

arethereanyleftatall · 30/12/2022 18:03

I guess it depends what kind of a relationship you both have and how skint you both are. For example, if you go round her house for tea and a biscuit does she charge you £1?

Because like others have said, £3 between friends evens itself out normally.

And. I know she says she'd pay you, but depending on your relationship, she might be gobsnacked that you asked.

Wow that analogy doesn’t work at all. This isn’t hosting a friendly tea and biscuits. She ASKED her to buy something and said she’d pay her back. She’s lied so as far as I’m concerned it’s low level theft. It doesn’t matter that it’s a low amount. Op is right - it is the principle.

Flapjackquack · 30/12/2022 18:10

lilila · 30/12/2022 18:05

I dont generally keep tabs on things..for example, i regularly go for coffee with another friend who has more expensive items than me..it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I just can't imagine asking someone to get me something for me and then not paying for it..I don't feel right until I've given the money back to them

I think you are subconsciously keeping tabs. I couldn’t tell you what my friend last ate at coffee and if it cost more or not.

Jasmino1o · 30/12/2022 18:10

Personally I would let her off, even if she did offer to pay. However, my brother had access to my Apple Music Family account, he asked for it and I said fine but to pay £3 a month because I was paying £14.99 a month, he also had access to our Netflix account too. Instead of paying a lump sum he decided he would pay monthly. He paid the first month, the second, then the payments stopped for months. To him £3 is nothing and doesn’t understand why he has to pay it, but it’s £3 for every month of using Apple Music and it obviously goes toward me paying the monthly £14.99. He was also complaining a lot when 2 other people were watching our Netflix and he couldn’t watch something, however he was getting it for free and SIL paid us a lump sum every year of getting our details. He even told me to pay the extra to get more access for users (which would have been an extra £4 a month for us I think it was?).
He eventually asked if his wife could also have access to Apple Music, I said fine but for £5 a month, so after months of free Apple Music he said he would “start afresh” with £5 a month. Obviously payments stopped after a couple of months again! I threatened to kick him off of it, he begged me not too but eventually they both came off it on their own accord. For me it was the principal, he was getting something that would have cost him £9.99 a month if he was doing it for himself so why not pay £3 a month to someone for the access?

Rockingcloggs · 30/12/2022 18:11

If my friend asked me to get something for her for £3 or in fact owt up to a tenner then it wouldn't even cross my mind to ask for it back. The thing is, none of us take it for granted. So, if she's asking for a 3 quid item every couple of days then that's different!

Flapjackquack · 30/12/2022 18:11

UWhatNow · 30/12/2022 18:10

Wow that analogy doesn’t work at all. This isn’t hosting a friendly tea and biscuits. She ASKED her to buy something and said she’d pay her back. She’s lied so as far as I’m concerned it’s low level theft. It doesn’t matter that it’s a low amount. Op is right - it is the principle.

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Low level theft 😂😂😂 give over.

nobabiesyet · 30/12/2022 18:11

I can see why you'd be irritated. I had a friend who always managed to slip paying her share. And when she'd stay with me in the holidays - all wined and dined for at least 5 days, if we popped into Tesco to pick up a few things like milk, a bottle of wine, some veg. She'd put other things in the basket like chocs and things for her child and when it was going through the check out - be off looking at the new stands. It really annoyed me - as I'd have to pay, and it would be at least £7/9 or so extra - every time. And this was like a strategy every time. She'd also do things like pay for coffee for us when out - no cake, so that next time when it was an expensive dinner etc I'd pay. For this and more serious reasons she's an ex friend. I think even though it is £3 she should offer to pay.

UWhatNow · 30/12/2022 18:13

Flapjackquack · 30/12/2022 18:11

Low level theft 😂😂😂 give over.

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If you took something from a shop for £3 and didn’t pay them what would it be regarded as?

Mummybearto3bg · 30/12/2022 18:13

Normally me and my friends would say no its ok I'll get this and you can get the next thing etc. I wouldn't keep on over £3 no matter what.

RobbinBanksy · 30/12/2022 18:14

lilila · 30/12/2022 17:49

Thank you for the replies..I will leave the asking! I don't need the money, it has just irritated me. I remember a time a while back when we were sharing something that was, say, £10.50..she offered to pay £5 and I pay the rest..I would have offered to pay the larger amount anyway, but wouldn't ask the other person to.
I have given her plenty of lifts etc with no expectation for payment, so it's not about that..it just irked me for some reason!

the fact that you even remember her ‘owing’ you 25p is so cringe I can’t even explain it. i couldn’t be friends with someone who keeps mental tabs like that

Flapjackquack · 30/12/2022 18:15

UWhatNow · 30/12/2022 18:13

If you took something from a shop for £3 and didn’t pay them what would it be regarded as?

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I generally don’t have an ongoing relationship with corporate entities in which we support each other or help each other out. If you view your friends on the same transactional basis as a shop you have issues.

Original poster

lilila · 30/12/2022 18:15

I have done the whole netflix etc thing also..unable to do it now, but have never asked for or expected a contribution

OP posts:

Itloggedmeoutagain · 30/12/2022 18:17

Jasmino1o · 30/12/2022 18:10

Personally I would let her off, even if she did offer to pay. However, my brother had access to my Apple Music Family account, he asked for it and I said fine but to pay £3 a month because I was paying £14.99 a month, he also had access to our Netflix account too. Instead of paying a lump sum he decided he would pay monthly. He paid the first month, the second, then the payments stopped for months. To him £3 is nothing and doesn’t understand why he has to pay it, but it’s £3 for every month of using Apple Music and it obviously goes toward me paying the monthly £14.99. He was also complaining a lot when 2 other people were watching our Netflix and he couldn’t watch something, however he was getting it for free and SIL paid us a lump sum every year of getting our details. He even told me to pay the extra to get more access for users (which would have been an extra £4 a month for us I think it was?).
He eventually asked if his wife could also have access to Apple Music, I said fine but for £5 a month, so after months of free Apple Music he said he would “start afresh” with £5 a month. Obviously payments stopped after a couple of months again! I threatened to kick him off of it, he begged me not too but eventually they both came off it on their own accord. For me it was the principal, he was getting something that would have cost him £9.99 a month if he was doing it for himself so why not pay £3 a month to someone for the access?

Change password
He pays up to date
Then he can have the new password

Original poster

lilila · 30/12/2022 18:20

It wasnt about the 25p, it was that she told me I was paying the higher amount..it does sound really silly though!

OP posts:

wigywhoo · 30/12/2022 18:24

I would never chase a small amount like that - causes bad feeling/embarrassment. I don't have a fixed amount that I would follow up but it would be over £30 I would say

Comefromaway · 30/12/2022 18:25

I would always offer to pay even for 50p.

the financial situation I’m in now I would probably say to. Friend who owed me £3 don’t worry about it but I’ve been in situations whereby £3 could make a lot of difference.

the coffee out analogy doesn’t work for me as going out for a coffee/tea is a special treat not a regular occurrence.