AIBU to be uncomfortable with this? Dog related

[Doggiky]

Fully prepared to be flamed be because I know dogs are a dangerous topic on here. I have dogs, I love dogs, I’ve always had dogs and DCs are both happy and comfortable with dogs.

DH’s best friend and DC’s godfather recently got a dog. This dog breed is one with a reputation for being dangerous and the dog weighs more than I do. I have nothing against the dog or its breed persé and my family actually had one when I was in my teens.

However, advice is very clear that this dog shouldn’t be owned by novice dog owners because they’re complex dogs and can be aggressive and difficult to control if they’re not looked after appropriately. On top of that, advice is very clear that you shouldn’t have a rescue of this breed as your first dog of this breed because they often struggle with rehoming due to the nature of the breed as a family/group oriented dog. This is the friend’s first dog and has been adopted from a shelter.

The Family Vets website says this breed are “not best suited to first-time owners”. PDSA says “they thrive in a home with someone who understands the breed” and “they are incredibly strong so shouldn’t be left unsupervised with children” and the breed “need an experienced owner”. Pet Place says this breed “may not be a good choice for first-time dog owners”. PetsMont says that, despite their reputation for aggression, “they are only aggressive under certain circumstances…if they are brought up in a home where they are mistreated or not introduced to early socialisation”.

I haven’t met the dog. They rescued the dog from a reputable shelter but it’s already come to light that there are a number of issues that they weren’t told about (nothing relating to aggression though) and they did consider returning the dog.

We’ve been told that the dog came from a family with children but no information on why it’s been rehomed. DH’s friend hasn’t had the dog around children before. DH wants to take our DCs over to his friends house to meet the dog and hang out, which I don’t feel comfortable with. The friend is very defensive of the dog and people’s assumptions that the dog could be aggressive so DH is concerned about offending him.

Am I being unreasonable to say DH can’t take them there until we know the dog is safe around children?

You don’t need to tell us what the breed is OP.

It’s irrelevant, since it’s not the breed you have the issue with, per se.

It’s the ‘perfect storm’ combination in your most recent post that is the issue.

Good on you for saying no - the priority is your DCs’ safety, not the poor hurt feelings of the man-baby dog owner.

It's a rottweiler. Put the phrases into Google and it throws up the sites.

I wouldn't allow it immediately. We have a rescue GSDX. Soft as butter, but owning a big dog is a huge responsibility and I never have an issue with anyone being wary of him because his first bite could be their last bite.

I look after dogs for a living. I've cared for at least 700, over the last 10 years. No way in hell would I be letting my kids go to your DH's friends house. I was bitten by a tiny Shih Tzu, 9 years ago. I still have the scars. Thankfully, not on my face.

What you're really asking here is "Should I risk my children's safety, in order to not offend my DH's friend"......and that is a no brainer.

I should also add, we had our own dog that was an absolute sweetheart, but a big dog. She was wonderful and gentle with our older children, but on one occasion someone brought a younger child to our home, and he was very boisterous - she curled her lip and showed teeth. She was very quickly removed from the situation.

I have rescued several dogs of softer breeds, and I STILL wouldn't allow an unknown dog to be near children until I am sure of their temperament. Even at that, NONE of my dogs are ever left alone with children and mine are soft licky dogs that just want petted.
It takes anything from 3/6 months for a rescue dog to decompress and for you to see their true nature.
Just NO.

I agree with you OP. Dog needs to settle in to its new home, your DHs friend needs to learn about dogs (it's sound like he knows nothing), you can get to know the dog outside of the home without your children. I'd feel the same.

I know it wasn't about the breed for you by the way.

I'm guessing if he came from a reputable shelter they would have assessed him before rehoming . I wouldn't demonise any dog but there's certainly some I wouldn't let children near . Air on the side of caution OP

Not fair on the children but also not fair on the dog to place it in a situation it may feel stressed when it's already in unfamiliar surroundings around people it barely knows.

So you DH is more concerned about not offending someone than the possibility that one of his kids might get badly mauled or bitten. Absolutely tosser. (And I love dogs btw.)

Is your DH always this casual with the health and welfare of his children? Would he rather risk the dog biting DC than risk offending his friend?

I certainly wouldn't offer my kids up as Guinea pigs to socialize the dog. Just be brave enough to make the right decision.

Is it an Akita? I have an Akita. Happy to answer any questions if so.

Agree with all of this