AIBU to think we a nation of shopaholics?

[TimeBurglar]

Since before Black Friday it has been a feeding frenzy in the shops. Yesterday I had to meet someone in our city centre and we went into a department store. It was chaos, like Christmas Eve. People were rummaging through bargains, pushing people out of the way and getting stroppy in queues at tills.

I came away feeling quite disgusted actually. Most of us got things on Christmas Day, why do we need more crap the second the shops open?

My Christmas presents were not great, but TBH I don't need anything. I'd rather just not swap presents.

It got me thinking though. Why is shopping such a British thing? I have relatives overseas, and they don't go through a house metamorphosis every 2 years, nor spend hundreds on clothes a month. They have fewer things, but better quality.

It just feels obscene.

Shopping centres aren't just shopping centres now tho. We have bowling, mini golf, laser quest, escape rooms, tattoo shop, Botox clinic, climbing wall, soft play, arcade and will soon have a go kart track in a major shopping centre.

We go once or twice a month and always book an activity for DS then food plus a few hours look at the shops for DH and me.

We also do activities like swimming (indoor water park is on the outlet centre), beach, paddle boarding and go for country walks etc. But in this weather bowling and food is very attractive

This argument falls down if you assume that those shopping never actually buy anything though -in which case they aren't actually shopping just browsing or wandering. The moment you buy stuff that's money you could have spent on one of the "expensive" things that apparently signify an "exciting life". All day parking alone in my local city at the moment would cost at least 20 quid so, otherwise than the small amount of people who live within walking distance a day out shopping isn't a cheap option.

And if you're not going to actually buy anything what's the point? The only thing more depressing to me than a day out shopping amongst crowds wluld be a day out watching everyone else buy stuff I can't afford!

Also while more people might live close enough to a small high street to be able to wander there at no expense, it would be very unusual imo for someone to be within easy and affordable travelling distance of a large shopping mall, either in a big city or out of town one but not to a beach/large park/museum, all of which are as equally free as shopping centres, and with less incentive to spend money.

So I don't really understand the "day out at the shops" as the only affordable day out argument

That's very true in my experience. We live part of the year in mainland Europe and shopping is just a necessity rather than a leisure activity.

I have a few friends who do this. The main reason is because they're trying to budget and prepare for the year ahead . For example, they know their kids winter coats won't last another year so they'll buy a good quality ,sturdy one in a few sizes bigger for a fraction of the price. Rather than waiting until one is needed and risking not affording it. Same with other things that they know they'll need replacing. Or they make do without something or a barely working one so they can replace it in the sales. Some have kids with Jan/Feb birthdays so it makes sense to get things now when they're a bit cheaper.
Sometimes the budget stretches to a few treats as well and even better if what's needed is also something that's wanted/makes them happy . So they get the double whammy of providing and getting the endorphins from buying something nice/they like.

I don't think sneering at people who do it out of necessity,or just being sensible/savvy with their money is really a higher moral ground.

If you don't want to shop,don't no one is making you.

It's for the dopamine hit.

When most of the country is mentally ill shopping is better than overeating, drinking, heroin.

This thread has been helpful for me because I’m doing a no spend 2023. I have so much stuff I don’t need and I don’t need to keep adding to the pile. Instead I am focusing my energy into self-development this year.

Not been out recently since late december, in central london , shops were very quite pre christmas....i am not buying anything next year...am ruthless and hate clutter etc....but try even getting inside a shop in Barcelona on a saturday....rammed all year round....that really is a shopping frenzy...i was there in november...all shops packed out !...its not just a british thing.

YABU because it’s not a British thing 🙄

What I really want to know is why the OP went into a City Centre Department Store and did they buy anything?

"Shopping" has been a chapter in many books about Society, Consumerism and Economics for decades including the current Shopping Centre model - it's how we shop that has changed over time, centuries.

I hate to admit it but I'm a huge shopper but only on- line. About 2 deliveries a week but that's for the whole family. I'm constantly replacing shabby, worn out items or replacing items I feel look outdated. I do keep a lot old older items too like clothing, handbags and coats that still look good. I am shopping but fabric recycling or sending items to charity shops.

As a student in Manchester in the early 00s, in noticed the city centre was crammed every single weekend with people carrying Selfridges, Debenhams, Primark, Topshop, Ted Baker and Reiss bags!!!!

It's definitely not a new thing but the choice and availablity in Selfridges, Boots, Primark and B & M has really gone huge!!

I go to my local and very small town centre now to use post office, restaurants and coffee shops.

I have actually got a bit of online shopping fatigue - too much choice, annoying returns process and too much packaging to get rid of.

I have so much beautiful stuff so will be using what I have in 2023.

Folks, there is a world outside the UK and even Europe, shock horror. Also post Xmas sales and high footfall are not a new phenomenon anywhere. What’s with all the deep, angsty, tut tut, ‘look at those stupid consumers, aren’t I superior for having found enlightenment’

Exactly, this thread has a feel of all those going to parks and beaches during Covid for days out and then clutching their pearls about how everyone else was on a day out.

I must admit I love the sales and have ordered some stuff online.

I did get quite a lot of money for Christmas and it's nice to treat yourself

I try to shop sensibly

Life is pretty depressing at the moment

Affordable bad quality goods need replacing on a regular basis. Buy cheap buy twice.

I'm quite particular about what I buy and where I shop so I won't be out for long

Also of the recent shopping was presents and I sometimes buy things and put them away for gifts as I'm sure others do

I love a bargain

I like shopping i take my kids they love it. We all do, how i spend my money and time is nothing to do with any of you.

We don't have the friends and family you speak of, to socialise etc with.

I really don't get why it bothers some of you so much. What you do with your time/ money i couldn't care less about.

What I really want to know is why the OP went into a City Centre Department Store and did they buy anything?

I went to meet someone for lunch and the person I was with wanted to have a nosey round the sales.

I am definitely not being pearl clutchy, because I myself am guilty of shopping till I drop. When I say I am disgusted, a lot of that has to do with myself. I have lived in other countries, some worse than here for shopping, and others not as bad. I think it is pretty bad that we are constantly bombarded about spending money and then told we are screwing the economy by not being in the shops. Maybe if our governments had invested in other industries our economy wouldn't be so reliant on retail, where the shop assistants are poorly paid, and work for no more on BH's.

As mentioned, I am disgusted with myself and will seek to change that if I can. I feel like it will be like weening myself off a drug. Thinking about it, I need nothing. I can't wear all the clothes, shoes and accessories I have already got, and I don't even have that much TBH. It's obscene.

Are there any self help resources to support no spend 2023?

I don't see any sign that the mindset is shifting overall. On the bargain shopping threads there are often people buying MASSIVE amounts of stuff: as an example there were cashmere gloves on sale, and people were buying 4 pairs each. Who is gifting that much?