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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think we a nation of shopaholics?

93 replies

TimeBurglar · 30/12/2022 10:11

Since before Black Friday it has been a feeding frenzy in the shops. Yesterday I had to meet someone in our city centre and we went into a department store. It was chaos, like Christmas Eve. People were rummaging through bargains, pushing people out of the way and getting stroppy in queues at tills.

I came away feeling quite disgusted actually. Most of us got things on Christmas Day, why do we need more crap the second the shops open?

My Christmas presents were not great, but TBH I don't need anything. I'd rather just not swap presents.

It got me thinking though. Why is shopping such a British thing? I have relatives overseas, and they don't go through a house metamorphosis every 2 years, nor spend hundreds on clothes a month. They have fewer things, but better quality.

It just feels obscene.

OP posts:
Whattaboutit · 30/12/2022 11:56

Shopping has always been a day out and a leisure activity ever since the modern concept was invented. Do you think Jane Austen’s women needed to spend so long looking at muslins and gloves when they were in Bath?

FettleOfKish · 30/12/2022 11:59

I agree OP. My Mum & Nan both saw shopping as a leisure activity and hours upon hours of being dragged round shops as a kid has put me right off.

I go to town if I need something, and only if I need something. I have had a look in the sales (online) but only for things I already needed or wanted, and if I've not found them in a sale I've not bought them or anything else.

I understand I'm in a privileged position to be able to do this, but in the last few years I've been trying to replace certain items with more expensive but longer lasting versions - for example I'm gradually chucking away myriad old knackered high street handbags and am building a smaller collection of better quality classic ones that will hopefully last me for decades.

gettingolderandgrumpier · 30/12/2022 12:05

I do agree very rarely go shopping I’m an online shopper much easier imo . Saying that I want a new rug and I’d like to see it before buy so will have to head to shops at some point . But yeah I agree you do see it like some sort of hobby people taking the kids like a day out but they hate it so no wonder having a tantrum or playing up . Shop online if you have no choice to bring the kids .

FettleOfKish · 30/12/2022 12:05

One of the things I love about living in Jersey is that we're still very resistant overall to Sunday shopping. A few big brands are open, but they flogging a dead horse because the high street is empty. I had to pop to a pharmacy in town on Boxing Day and it was literally the only shop open. It's nice to have a breather from the constant hamster wheel of consumerism.

Tekkentime · 30/12/2022 12:07

The UK is brilliant for this from the perspective of that you can get pretty much anything you want.

It goes wrong when people just buy tat, I would like to note that people also buy tat in other countries!

However, people should also note that it's very frustrating living in other countries when you can't source many particular types of things.

It's a great UK strength if people buy what they actually need/want.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 30/12/2022 12:09

Shopping is a social activity in France, especially amongst female family members...

YouremywifenowTubs · 30/12/2022 12:11

My MIL has been out shopping everyday. PIL live in a 3 double bedroomed house. Two of the rooms only have a sliver of space down the middle to walk though. The rest of the rooms are full of clothes rails and cuppboards full to the brim with all the clothes, shoes and tat she buys. The hallway, landing and dining room are floor to ceiling boxes of yet more shit that she’s ordered online.

Part of me is jealous because I have to wear my clothes until they are rags and then they are replaced with whatever I can find for the cheapest price, but there are a lot of people like her who spend for the hell of it.

ouch321 · 30/12/2022 12:17

If people didn't go shopping the way they do, retailer profits would drop leading to store closures leading to people losing their jobs.

It's quite crappy of you that you'd like this to happen.

Original poster
TimeBurglar · 30/12/2022 12:35

If people didn't go shopping the way they do, retailer profits would drop leading to store closures leading to people losing their jobs.

Maybe, but people would spend their money elsewhere; in restaurants, theatres, and cinemas bolstering their industries instead of wandering around shopping centres buying more clothes.

Does it follow that countries with a less consumer-driven economy have higher rates of unemployment?

*It's nice to have a breather from the constant hamster wheel of consumerism"

Yes to this. I want to get off this wheel, as well as a few other carousels.
I just don't want to do this anymore.

OP posts:
Scarfweather · 30/12/2022 12:46

Agree, and I’m someone who loves wandering around shops to look at what’s on offer, what’s in fashion, but I actually buy very little.
I think (hope) the tide is changing as it’s the proliferation of ‘stuff’ that’s killing off the planet. I think we all realise that now.

The amount of clothes stuffed into my local big M&S seems obscene. So much of it not being bought either before Christmas or after. Total wastage of resources - we just don’t need that much choice.

I still like wondering around, though - partly as I have become bored with country walks and like being around noise, lights and people 😁

LunaRegis · 30/12/2022 12:52

Shopping’s been the number 1 family day out for some years now. If you go to a Shopping Centre you can get a drink, something to eat, go to the cinema, play bowls …. All this is to keep the family entertained so they’ll stay out all day & spend more money. People have too much money & it makes them greedy. If you dared suggested a day out at the park with a picnic they’d think you were unbalanced.

If you don’t want to do Christmas present’s don’t. You’ll probably find that no one else does too. You’re just exchanging tat, keep the money & buy something you really want.

Underroad · 30/12/2022 12:57

I used to shop quite a lot in my 20s but have cut down loads over the years and barely ever shop for anything other than good now. Any clothes are usually from Vinted (and just the things I need, not loads) and I like vintage home stuff so like a charity shop browse.

the key for me was moving from a lovely big town with lots of shops and a beautiful tow centre to a crappy small market town with the nearest city centre an hour away. I can rarely be bothered to go into the city (think I’ve gone once, perhaps twice since the 2020 lockdown) and there’s nothing tempting in my small town. I moved here 15 years ago and it made me see how consumerist I was. A few of my local friends have lived here all their lives and are still big shoppers, happy to travel for longer to get to more shops or to buy a lot online, but the people who have moved here from larger towns or cities seem to have my attitude.

Cariadz · 30/12/2022 13:03

I’m not one for leisure shopping. But I have been out in town this weekend stocking up on clothes for my grandchildren. I always shop for them in the sales and their parents reimburse me for most of it - I have the time to do it and they don’t.

Babyroobs · 30/12/2022 13:05

yes most people I know admit to having way too many clothes, shoes etc half of which they don't wear. No one seems to think about the environmental impact, we are just a consumerist society and a throw away society. It's embarrasing.

Cariadz · 30/12/2022 13:05

Sorry, my favorite way to shop for myself is when I’m on holiday in small European towns in Italy, Germany and Switzerland. I love that they go more for individual boutiques and less for huge shops in huge malls. The latter exhaust me.

AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 30/12/2022 13:24

I've never understood it - shopping is a chore in normal times, when it's busy during sales, it's absolute torture. I can't imagine anything worse than going to "mooch" around shops and look at the consumerist tat you don't really need.

I do understand that the alternatives are limited in some urban areas, or very expensive, but I can't imagine ever considering that being packed into a hot, sweaty, busy shopping centre full of other people is better than being outside doing something, almost anything else, even in the British weather.

sst1234 · 30/12/2022 13:35

No more than any other nation. What you saw is a result of a densely populated island with fewer facilities than larger countries. So people tend to pack into the same shops, venues, restaurants.

EatDiamondsForBreakfast · 30/12/2022 13:39

Not just UK, I’m in Australia. Twice recently I’ve had a bit of a slap in the face wake up call. I stopped into a shopping centre & as I was driving out there was a charity donation bin (dumpster size). It was absolutely loaded with clothing ‘donations’ (aka people had thrown their garbage bags full of clothing there). To a 5m radius around it too. It just hit me - we are so incredibly wasteful. I’m sure it would have been emptied by the charity in the 24 hours before (it was a Saturday morning). it really shifted something inside me & I haven’t thought about shopping in the same way since. It almost feels ‘dirty’!!!
yesterday we went to our local tip and I looked around and said the same thing. The bikes, the appliances! We bought our dishwasher second hand & the seller told me she was upgrading because she had just bought the house and the brand wasn’t her preference. 🙄

Wantingtomove123 · 30/12/2022 13:42

I live abroad. I do think people living in England (most probably if you live in a city) buy a lot of unnecessary things. I think it’s partly because things are cheaper in England and prettier and there’s more choice. Also, a lot of people have nothing else to do so they go shopping to fill their time and get satisfaction from it.

dreamingbohemian · 30/12/2022 13:46

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 30/12/2022 12:09

Shopping is a social activity in France, especially amongst female family members...

Okay but most shops in France still close on Sundays, which suggests that as a society they are not quite as shopping oriented as the US/UK

When we lived in France I found it was much more common to spend weekend free time as a family visiting other friends and family, going round people's houses, rather than going shopping as a day out. Same weather as UK just different habits.

SylviasMotherSaid · 30/12/2022 13:53

I can’t stand shopping with other people particularly female friends as what usually happens is we stand for hours say in New Look while they hum and haw over a top and I’m usually hungry and bored . If I go shopping I tend to have in my head what I want go in buy it and go for food . I love Vinted and can spend hours on there . I just don’t understand what people find to buy in shops at the moment there’s rarely anything wow .

TheWayTheLightFalls · 30/12/2022 14:02

Yy to the hamster wheel of consumerism. There are some countries where this is the culture and England is one of them imo. My pet theory about this time of year is that we have ads screaming “Buy! Buy! Buy! Spend more!” at us from about mid-November, and it’s quite hard psychologically to just shut that off once the big day has passed and the presents opened. So now we go bargain hunting in the sales. And so on…

I’m currently decluttering ahead of a move and losing my mind.

Lilyhatesjaz · 30/12/2022 14:03

Our whole economy runs on people buying things they don't need with money they don't have.
Retail and banking

user143677433 · 30/12/2022 14:14

You went to a department store when the sales have just started and many people are still on holiday. And you are surprised it was busy? What were you expecting?

Yes a lot of people have just received presents for Christmas, but for a lot of people those presents will have been money or vouchers to buy themselves something they want or need in the sales.

JoonT · 30/12/2022 14:37

It's true that we all buy crap we don't need. And it's certainly true that we use shopping as therapy – that it gives us a sense of achievement, boosts our egos, etc.

That said, I'm skeptical of the trendy-left view that we're brainwashed victims of consumer capitalism. There's something very smug and patronizing about it (I'm not taking a swipe at you OP – I know exactly what you mean about the ugliness of people grabbing and shoving). It's the sort of thing tedious left-wing sixth formers say – with the suggestion that THEY are not like that, because THEY are too smart and sophisticated.

Shopping is a pleasure. It's nice to go in a warm Neros or Costa and have a coffee and look through the books and candles and stuff that you've bought. Why not? Certainly better than living in a dreary Marxist 'utopia', where we all wear grey worker uniforms and can only buy what we need to survive and reproduce.