AIBU to think we a nation of shopaholics?

[TimeBurglar]

Since before Black Friday it has been a feeding frenzy in the shops. Yesterday I had to meet someone in our city centre and we went into a department store. It was chaos, like Christmas Eve. People were rummaging through bargains, pushing people out of the way and getting stroppy in queues at tills.

I came away feeling quite disgusted actually. Most of us got things on Christmas Day, why do we need more crap the second the shops open?

My Christmas presents were not great, but TBH I don't need anything. I'd rather just not swap presents.

It got me thinking though. Why is shopping such a British thing? I have relatives overseas, and they don't go through a house metamorphosis every 2 years, nor spend hundreds on clothes a month. They have fewer things, but better quality.

It just feels obscene.

Shopping is an emotional distraction.

I think the discount shops (Poundland, Primark, all the small unbranded ones on every high street) are quite a British thing. I grew up in another European country and we didn't have that kind of shops.

But it's easy to say buy less and better if you can only afford the £2 item and not the £20 or £50 item...

I went to the shops before Christmas to look for a Christmas outfit. Stood in the Zara changing room in a sparkly dress and suddenly wondered what I was doing, buying a new outfit that I'd literally wear for half a day. I ended up wearing a dress I've had for years and had a lovely Christmas.

I agree. I'm from the US, shopping is also a hobby there, but I've lived in a couple other European countries where this was much less a thing. Similar weather so its not just that.

Honestly, I don't know, OP. I feel very far away from that culture, tbh. I never go shopping anymore. We try to buy everything second-hand which is either online or local.

I managed to persuade friends to buy us second-hand gifts this year which felt like a cultural shift.

I don't know really as I almost never go to the physical shops. Any shopping I do is much more likely to be online. People I know aren't very into buying stuff. Even those who have a lot of money are not redoing their house every couple of years or spending 100s a month on clothes. They are more likely to spend a lot of money on travel, theatre, concerts, nice food. You're not going to get a representative sample of the population out in the shops at the moment.

I must say I have never understood people who go shopping as a family activity if they have a way to avoid it (which if there are two parents at home, there almost certainly is). I have literally never ever done that as far as I can remember. I shop on my own for clothes, and used to take just one child at a time with me to buy clothes for them on occasion. Grocery shopping is alwasy online, but if I did make a rare trip I would never ever take the whole famly with me!

I would say Europe has more of a cafe culture & eating out.

Grocery shopping is alwasy online, but if I did make a rare trip I would never ever take the whole famly with me!

I don't get the angst about this but I'm not English, often I pop into a supermarket or the way back from something so have the dc with me by default. I online shop for most things except groceries.

This is true, but that is the whole merry go round nature of it all. I have to take personal responsibility for my choices though, and I refuse to give in to the constant pressure to buy, buy, buy, spend....... that we are being bombarded almost constantly. It is obscene.

I really think you're right. I've got friends that go shopping after a fallout with their OH.
also 'boredom' shopping is a thing.

Primark is Irish and many of our top stores are European (Zara is Spanish etc.) so this clearly isn’t just a British thing.

I do agree that shopping seems to plug a hole in some people’s lives, whether that’s Gucci bags or Primark candles.

I don't get the angst about this but I'm not English, often I pop into a supermarket or the way back from something

Not angst. Just not something I do. But there is also a difference between popping in to pick up a couple of things and doing a whole weekly supermarket shop. Part of it may be that I so rarely visit a supermarket that I'm not very efficient at it as I don't know my way round. The idea of doing that with 2-3 young children in tow if I don't have to makes my brain spin.

Yes, I avoid physical shops as much as possible, but took my DD into Brighton yesterday, (it was her birthday and she was meeting a friend at a cafe). I thought I'd get a drink while they met up and just potter round; I was honestly expecting it to be quiet. It was heaving, every shop busy, every street packed. I retreated down to the beach with my hot chocolate in the end to get a breather!

But you seemed incredulous that other people would do this though. Are you older (without being rude)? just most people don't do a big weekly shop nowadays, it hasn't been a thing for years & most people don't have 2-3 young dc these days!

I love shopping and spending but my bank balance doesn't.
I try to remember we are in the top 1% of wealth and I don't need anything!!
Works sometimes! Sometimes not. Can't think of anything worse than going to a city centre though.

Yes.

About 5 years ago we started to focus more on experiences rather than stuff. We create memories and have fun together now, rather than traipsing round shops for hours on end, looking for a quick consumer fix, that doesn’t last.

What i would say though, is that when we do buy, we buy right and it lasts.

I wonder if people go shopping because they can't afford to do anything else.

Eating out - expensive
Cinema/theatre - expensive
Theme parks - expensive
Zoo/wildlife park - expensive
Bowling/trampoline parks - expensive
Public transport to elsewhere - expensive
Etc etc

Not everyone wants to trudge around the same small patch of green space with the same tiny playground being yelled at if the have a dog because everything else has been built on nearby because they aren't rich enough to have an exciting life.

I live in Brighton and would say that it is often busy at the weekends and holidays because it has a young population. Equally, it is not on a par with London or anything but it probably has the best shops in Sussex so people come from all over. I was in London yesterday and my DC were using vouchers and we went to an exhibition my DH was interested in but it was hell in the shops, so so hot. Lots of waiting around if you wanted to eat in a restaurant and these aren't the chain restaurants and it was not an eating time so 3ish! I grew up in London and went to the haunts of Neil street and around like my children wanted to and it was no way as busy as that ever!

Agree with this. I use it as an outlet to make me feel better! It’s a “nice” distraction.

Having lived abroad for 15 years I find it much easier to spend money in the UK and I'm not sure why. I'm sure taste has something to do with it. There's also a mahoosive choice of products in supermarkets. I used to love it. Now I find it overwhelming.

This, definitely.

Also the weather is so shit here for most of the year. It’s not an appealing prospect trying to go for a bike ride or walk in the rain.

I buy stuff on eBay now and rarely shop for clothes, it’s lost its appeal, there’s less places to have a coffee and something to eat, so find the whole thing a chore. I did buy a lot during the lockdown and that will last me a good few years.

My 15 year old DS was not that keen on looking in the shops, I think he came along as we persuaded him with food in London but he doesn't mind with friends as they go to retro stores and the fact is he prefers their company for that kind of thing. When they were younger, we wouldn't take them shopping,.it was very much walks on the Downs/beach, go to the playground or NT but my teenager now said, 'why do I want to drive to a wet field and walk around it for a bit and then get back in the car and go home?'. He doesn't want to consume instead, he just wants to play football in the park or mooch around town with friends but the idea that with older DC they want to do these walks with the family IME is mostly not true, that's why we bribed him with London restaurant and exhibition yesterday.

A lot of us have gained loads of weight so we need to buy new clothes that actually fit! I used to believe in the whole thing of buying better quality clothes that’ll last, so I did that in my 20s and look where that got me. People don’t stay the same size their whole lives, especially due to pregnancy and perimenopause. As for paying £100 for a bra at Rigby & Peller, if it only fits me for about two weeks before I change size again then it’s a total waste of money because it doesn’t actually last.

I went into next a couple of days ago just to wonder around whilst waiting for new wipers to be fitted and instead of waiting 45 mins in the rain I just thought I would pop in. There were people jumping over each other picking out dusty baubles and more Xmas tat with Santa mugs and hot chocolate. I just thought to myself I would rather hoard my money to make sure I don't fall short for next year and actually get a decent present than spend spend spend on tat I wouldn't need until next Christmas and risk falling short. There was so many tat and even in the clothes sections people going crazy over.