Too much 'stuff'?

[Whatifthegrassisblue]

So many threads about gifts.
AIBU to think once you're a certain age you have everything you need and if you want something you just buy it? Generally speaking of course, its nice to feel special and get the occasional gift, but I don't want loads and load of things anymore.
I struggle to get something for DH, I can find something he'll like, but with him too its just more 'stuff', I even now feeling this with young DC, how many toys and books can one small child have?
I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by just how much 'stuff' we have!
Does anyone else feel this way or AIBU?

I really enjoy exchanging gifts. It’s part of the celebration of Christmas (and also birthdays etc).

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read
…I find this useful for children/partners

I try to only gift ‘things’ are consumables that you know the person would actually use… I.e bottle of wine/bubbly, candle, dinner-making kit (spices/sauces rather than pans/dinnerware) that they will enjoy using rather than hoarding.

Would also suggest gifting experiences instead of ‘things’.

I also tell people when I gift that I hope they like it but if not please let me know - would much rather exchange it for something they would like or buy something different next time. I’m quite honest and blunt and I think they know they can tell me if they don’t like/won’t use something.

In terms of having “stuff” - if you think you have too much then get rid of some of it. Obviously when children are things like books build up, but as they get older and are not needed these things can be sold, gifted to charity or swapped. Decluttering is a good habit to do throughout the year. But I don’t think “having too much stuff” is a reason to not gift something.

I'm really feeling this way just now. We don't have a huge house and all the kids' xmas gifts just don't fit anywhere. I'll have to try to sell old stuff just to make room. Many of the new toys are just different versions of toys the kids already have. I always ask our relatives to keep things minimal but some just can't do it. MIL in particular buys lots of cheap stuff instead of one really good quality thing. It's awkward because I don't want to seem ungrateful but I can't stop thinking what a waste it all is and how it doesn't really make the kids that happy outside of the dopamine rush of unwrapping a surprise gift. I actually normally love Christmas but the gifts are becoming my least favourite bit of it. Feel like we're drowning in stuff, would feel too guilty to chuck it all in a skip but don't have the time to try to flog any of it. Grrrr

I asked family to give me a paperback book that they loved, It was a great way to discover new books that I either loved or was indifferent to and the charity shop was happy to take them once read. It was also interesting to see what people liked.

I took a bag with 25 things in to the charity shop earlier and will take another bag at the weekend. I was tempted by a couple of things but resisted.

When my kids were younger I decided to buy less at Christmas but then allocate that saved money to outdoor toys in the summer. My kids didn't notice that they had less at Christmas and appreciated some outdoor stuff in late Spring/early summer.

Please don’t throw it away. There are many charities that would happily accept donations.

When DS was little we made it a policy to collect up the toys he didnt want/was too old for and donating them to charity on Boxing Day. To instill the spirit of generosity in him, it worked for a while but then his nerd gene kicked in and everything is now part of a "collection" 🙄

Unfortunately I live in a country which doesn't have the same charity shop culture as the UK. You either sell it at a flea market or have to give it away online, which means taking pics, writing a description etc. Or you leave it in a cardboard box on the street, where it may or may not get taken and will likely get soaked if it rains and end up as essentially flytipping. There are clothing banks but I've heard they are operated very unethically. Sometimes I really miss having a place to offload secondhand stuff where I know the money goes to a good cause. It's a good system.

I agree. With adult DC who can also buy themselves what they want, it feels rather pointless to be searching for stuff to buy for the sake of it. Over the last few years I've tended to buy experiences rather than things, from concert tickets to city breaks. This year we're all putting our 'pointless gift' budget towards an extended family holiday.

Oh that’s such a shame. Could you take a photo of bundles that would suit one particular age and put online? I’ve had a few bundles like that so I can have what is useful then pass on what I don’t need.

Yes! Even stupid, non-personal stuff: pre-DP I had one bag for life that I used for everything - shopping, laundry, runs to the charity shop. We now have 17 and woe betide me if I attempt a cull. He doesn’t even use them for laundry, he hauls the whole bloody basket downstairs and leaves it there so then we start accumulating a pile of clothes on the landing. Clothes 90% his – I counted the other day in despair and he has 47 pairs of socks FFS.

Ditto first aid: I used to have a box of plasters and one of paracetamol. He can’t get through a minor cold without paracetamol, ibuprofen, aspirin, Lemsip, Vicks vapour rub, Olbas oil and god knows what else. We need an entire cupboard. And this applies to everything! Cleaning stuff, kitchenware, bathroom: his policy seems to be why have one multitasking thing when you can accumulate a cash and carry’s worth “just in case”, always in a disorganised heap wrapped around with all the random cables that just APPEAR and must be kept because also “just in case”. I hate it! Death to all the things!