Too much 'stuff'?

[Whatifthegrassisblue]

So many threads about gifts.
AIBU to think once you're a certain age you have everything you need and if you want something you just buy it? Generally speaking of course, its nice to feel special and get the occasional gift, but I don't want loads and load of things anymore.
I struggle to get something for DH, I can find something he'll like, but with him too its just more 'stuff', I even now feeling this with young DC, how many toys and books can one small child have?
I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by just how much 'stuff' we have!
Does anyone else feel this way or AIBU?

YANBU.
There is only so much stuff you will use. Buying massive amounts of stuff which ends up in landfill is pretty pointless.
I'd ask for either charity sponsorships or donations of toys etc in future.
For your DC, ask for small (i.e. not a massive mud kitchen) gifts and cash for their savings account.
Some might think it's cheeky - it's not. It's practical.

It's fab @Whatifthegrassisblue ! The children are no longer little so there is so much junk to get rid of. Going to be nice to have a house with no toys..

I have vouched to have a toy clear out before I get stuck back into work - the amount of clutter at the moment is spiking my anxiety levels

I'm consistently flabbergasted by the sheer amount of plastic shit some people buy their kids.
Growing up, virtually all of me and my sisters toys were contained in the 1980s equivalent of one of those 8-cube IKEA storage shelves. My own 2 children now have one of those each, rather than shared, but that's about it. I'm also, now that they're a little bit older (about to turn 6), firmer about a rule that unless a toy is actively being played with, everything else is upstairs in their rooms.

My best friend also has 2 kids of a similar age, and the entire living room, conservatory, AND their bedrooms, is piled high with plastic shit. For an entire year there was an almost-full-size foosball table in their living room, which I never saw either child play with.

Yes! Need a new year declutter.

I try asking for just small stuff, but various people seem to think 'it's not enough' and add extra surprises too. That frustrates me, even more so when they buy stuff that's verging on too young before it even comes in the house

We stopped buying presents for other people years ago, we only buy for the kids, which has definitely helped with the clutter.
We did some renovations last year and had to pack up loads of our possessions because of the builders. It definitely helped us get rid of stuff, when I was packing it up we hired a skip to empty our garage and had a mad clear out and then putting stuff back I binned even more. The house is still full but definitely not as bad as it was.
When the Christmas decorations come down on Monday I’ll be having another clear out. I’m quite looking forward to it!

@Gronkle - I've started buying photo gifts for elderly relatives. I just bought 4 lovely black & white photo coasters for an elderly Aunt (Mum's 2nd cousin really) with old photos from when my DM & her were teenagers or wedding photos etc. Have also bought photo tin gifts for both my sisters this year (with b&w photo of our parents on their wedding day - both our parents are sadly dead). Also bought photo tins for Aunty & Uncle & filled them with sherbert lemons 🍋. They all loved the gifts & are practical as can store photos in them or sweets or memorabilia etc. Gave my DD (18) one with a lovely photo of our latest rescue cat too 💖 (Always Personal company). Photos were brilliant quality & tins were large but reasonable prices.

@MissMarplesNiece if all the clutter belongs to your DH then simply tell him to sort it out/find somewhere to store it. Especially if you're the one doing the vacuuming! This would drive me crazy especially in a flat.

I also hate clutter but sorry but this is so fucking privileged and tactless: ‘just ask all your relatives to give your kids money or vouchers or experiences instead.’

Some relatives want to give a gift but what they can afford will be a toy or book that they shopped for in the sales- not a money voucher to a stated value.

Some relatives want to give a gift but what they can afford will be a toy or book that they shopped for in the sales- not a money voucher to a stated value.
A fiver in a card can be put towards something a child is saving for, but I would never expect a gift at all.

I don't have a lot of money myself so would hate to think I was wasting it on things that weren't wanted or needed.

This stresses me out so much and is probably the thing that DH and I row most about. He seems incapable of getting rid of things without prompting, and even then it's a struggle. There's stuff he hasn't touched/used since we moved into this house 7 years ago, but he still won't consider clearing it out. Between that and things the kids are reluctant to part with, it does my head in. I try to mitigate it by asking people to buy things for the DC that I know they'll get a lot of use out of, or experience-type gifts but that is often ignored (my DM is a big culprit for this!). I usually ask for vouchers if there's nothing I particularly want. Then I can use them when I need them .

@CurrentHun the sort of relatives who shop in sales and buy 1 toy or 1 book are not the sort who are adding to the huge amounts of clutter in people's houses.

People generally know their relatives and know who they could ask for money / experiences from.

One of mine has had birthday as well as Christmas in the last week. I managed to give both Grans and all the Aunties 2 ideas each. But because they were 'not enough' they added extras. That's doesn't help my cause!

Oh wow I love this thread! I can't bear this hideous consumer culture we have all been sucked into and I'm constantly getting rid of stuff and sending stuff to our nanny's family overseas.

My husband travels solo a few times a year and I have to say I purge some of his stuff too: he has never noticed and we've been together for 12 years. He's a terrible hoarder (empty shoe boxes...why?!)

Even though we have a "no present" policy amongst the adults, my nieces and nephews who have their own families now, always buy me something, and that's so good of them.

It is either bouquets of flowers and plants which I love, or wine/chocolates/goodies. I don't drink, but it's great to have some vino to share when people call. The stash I get from them lasts a long time!

I am the maiden auntie, no kids. I am always spoiled by them all. It is so nice really.

I live alone in a house that's just a tad too big for me. Consequently I have plenty of room for hoarding stuff. But twice a year I do a clear out, then I can get MORE stuff lol. One in one out policy here.

Obviously every family is different but some years I have to do the Xmas shopping for elderly relatives to give others. I can tell you that unless they are particularly unwell at the time, they will get anxious about £5 in a card being seen as too small an amount, not special enough etc by either the child or the parents and then they feel they have to go out to buy other ‘stuff’ to go with the cash which is a physical burden or feel that they have to give 15-20 in total in a token, which is a financial burden because it’s money that they don’t really have. I then have to hear about it for days and deal with the emotional fall out of that either way. So YABU

My husband loves a shoe box but he manages to fill them with more stuff.

I remember when I went to uni I only had a car's worth of stuff. I never missed anything from my room at home!

Similarly backpacked for months and only had one bag.

Admittedly I don't want to live that minimally, but I could certainly get rid of a lot. Inspired by the pp who started with a kitchen drawer, I have just binned a load of awful, blunt cheap knives that we haven't used for at least 6 years.

Oh yes! I lived out of a suitcase too when I did 6 months travel! I had forgetten about that. Now I have a whole extra wardrobe full of clothes I think I might fit into again ... one day. One bonus is I did stop buying clothes a few years ago whereas before it was probably a weekly occurrence, I actually started to notice how all my clothes were similar anyway.

An experience doesn’t have to be a night at the opera in Paris - it can just be a handwritten voucher saying “a walk with a flask of hot chocolate next time we meet”. Plenty of kids would love that and it would be a genuine treat for them, rather than another toy to add to a huge pile.

Am I the only one who has so much STUFF, that I've seriously considered setting fire to the house, and not calling the Fire Brigade until it's all gone, just so that I can get rid of it all and start afresh?

Yes I dont get many gifts now anyway. Although I got useful stuff this year that I have used most of already and should last the year or beyond.

I did buy myself a couple of little gifts.

Stopthebusplease are there any things you would save first?

Not that I'm suggesting you actually do it!

Today I am going to go round the house with one of those big Sainsburys bags with the elephant on and fill it for the charity shop.

Yes, my favourite sort of present these days are consumable presents.

Chocolates, wine, cheese, soaps and so on…
Even if they’re not my favourite things, they’ll get used up (or passed on to someone who likes that type of chocolate better) and thrown away with no guilt.