Too much 'stuff'?

[Whatifthegrassisblue]

So many threads about gifts.
AIBU to think once you're a certain age you have everything you need and if you want something you just buy it? Generally speaking of course, its nice to feel special and get the occasional gift, but I don't want loads and load of things anymore.
I struggle to get something for DH, I can find something he'll like, but with him too its just more 'stuff', I even now feeling this with young DC, how many toys and books can one small child have?
I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by just how much 'stuff' we have!
Does anyone else feel this way or AIBU?

I had a mini clear out yesterday as I was feeling overwhelmed by stuff.

I filled 4 bin bags (told you it was mini) but feel so better. Filled the car, with bags and other bits and toddled off to the tip.

Now thinking what else I can dispose of today.

Covid has affected my mum's sense of smell so things like scented candles relay bother her! So yeah, that could be a realistic excuse?

This is what I do these days. People in my life who I want to give a gift to have everything they need.

So next year they will be going to concerts or shows as a Christmas gift.

These are shows we would have been going to together anyway but I have picked up the cost of their ticket instead of buying them a present

Thanks for book recommendation, just picked up a copy on eBay for £2.40 delivered!

I have around 20 cookbooks in my charity box to go, so bringing 1 in doesn’t feel bad.

as a family we now all give consumables, flowers, experiences instead of the usual types of presents, feels good us all being in the same mindset.

This is an ongoing problem for me and I hate it (along with the house that caused it).

A couple of years ago me and DP sold our houses (a 3 bed semi and a 3 bed bungalow) to move into a 4 bed semi together. His bungalow sold first so he filled my house to the brim with his stuff and had to get a storage unit. We then had to clear my house back out into the storage unit to make it sellable. I'd just had a baby and we went a bit crazy buying things because we had the space to store it. One storage unit became 2 and by the time we moved both were crammed to the rafters, as was the house. I'm sure we thought the house we'd bought would double in size because there's way too much stuff to have ever been able to fit in it.
We haven't properly unpacked because there's nowhere to put stuff. Some of the rooms are unusable as it's a renovation project and we have 5 old stables full to the brim with shite that is probably only fit for the tip after 2 years in damp conditions.

We've since had a second child and my plans for sorting the house out have failed as I'm back at work full time next month. I can't believe how much crap we own and it's doubled since having the kids. I pray for the day we can get rid of all the baby stuff just so it's a bit tidier. We also got bought tons of crap for Christmas. I said there's a soft toy ban and the kids received 10 of the bloody things 😡.
Worst of all is the bright pink ride-on/walker train that my dad bought my baby son because it was going cheap. I already had a walker/ride-on that I sold a few days before Xmas BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE ROOM FOR IT 😣😣. Now we have an even bigger one that also plays irritating music and flashes.

I'd be happy with no gifts being exchanged at all, including for the kids as we don't get anything we need or want. I also specified no plastic crap when the kids were born and it's all we seem to receive.

Sorry my rant was so long but it really drives me mad.

Fighting stuff is a huge battle as there is so much you can’t rehome. Which means either holding onto it or binning it. I have major guilt re the latter especially when it’s not recyclable.

Getting rid of three things a day sounds a good New Year’s resolution.

The trouble is that all this 'stuff' is way too cheap. Rent, council tax, energy bills, decent food, all going up, but you can get a load of crap for next to nothing.

We're on the verge of moving (next week - eek!!) and I'm loving having a good sort through our "stuff". Even though we're moving to a bigger house, with lots more storage, I'm determined we won't be moving with junk. It was a revelation to be careful over what we got each other/ teen sons for Christmas.

I suffer with anxiety and find clutter a real issue, so this is a breath of fresh air!

I always feel harsh getting rid of stuff because I remember who gave us everything. I didn’t buy much for DC for Xmas though and it felt good and they didn’t notice.

I had a clear out of stuff a few months before Christmas and realised that almost everything I was sending to charity shop was originally a Christmas gift which was either almost entirely unused. This year I have spent money on "doing" things instead of stuff. With 2 teenagers this was easier than I thought and helped to fill up the dead week between Xmas and new year. I even suggested to siblings with similar age kids that we pool our £10-15 budgets and take them all out for an activity instead.

I appreciate that this won't work with younger kids but worked for us this year and we have Lytham festival to look forward to in the summer.

Couldn't agree more, but you'll be bombarded with 'performance anti materialism' and 'destroying the magic of Christmas' comments. People can't bear the idea that you're not doing things the way they would do them, that it's somehow a personal attack.

Wish mine would do this with all his old work papers. 8 years retired and he still has 20+ box files full of old company reports and downloaded info from years back

I'd love to declutter - our flat is filled to the brim with DH's lp records & cds. Every spare nook and cranny is filled with them; there are even cardboard boxes full of them in the sitting room. It's impossible to vacuum under the bed or behind furniture. It depresses me.

I’m in my 50s and still appreciate gifts. Myself and adult DC have Amazon wish lists, so anything that’s bought is something that will be wanted and used. I got a diamond painting set, I like crafts as they calm my mind and I am finding it very therapeutic. A jigsaw, again something to calm the mind, a novel, a puzzle book. Yes I could buy these things myself but if I did that then where do I stop? I am trying to stop spending money on things that aren’t strictly necessary. So Christmas was a time to have those frivolous gifts I wasn’t buying for myself.

Something is only “tat” if you won’t use it/appreciate it. I get a bit fed up of everything being labelled tat and clutter nowadays. Some of it is of course. I remember one particular year my then young DS was gifted a fake poop by a relative! That went straight in the bin. But it’s not some moral failing to want and enjoy a gift. Decluttering has become like some sort of cult.

Yep it drives me mad.
Simple answer - ask for consumables such as posh bubble bath/ soap/ nice cheese
/ your fave scented candles etc.
for the kids - clothing, socks, pjs just say you could really use those and you have no room for any more toys.

It's annoying when it's so simple to make someone happy by not buying things. It costs nothing and saves time and energy too. They can still buy for people who appreciate all the little extra things wrapped up, I know some do. Or if they see a little something for £5-£10, donate the equivalent to foodbank or another charity instead.

How does the 'use weekly' work in reality? There are many things that are required but used less often.

I thought general rule was 6 months (to allow for seasonal use) and 12 months to cover once yearly events.

Surely it is more wasteful to be ditching the sun hat in September and then buying a new one in June the next year?

@Fuwari See, I'd be happy to buy things for you if you were my family member, as it would make you happy. I wouldn't want things like that in return as it would make me unhappy.

I dont need any more stuff. My Dsis asked me what I wanted for Xmas. I said a puzzle please, I like to do one over Christmas and she also sent some nice smellies in glass bottles which I can recycle when they are finished so ideal. I am very much enjoying doing the puzzle.
I bought myself a new TV which is arriving tomorrow.
I've had a tiny horrible old TV for years and thought it was time to upgrade. I prefer to tell people what I want as I don't want anything expensive znd don't need any more clutter so it might be a book or something.

I feel like this too, it’s so overwhelming sometimes. DH and I no longer buy gifts for each other, we always get vouchers for experiences. For 9 yo DD, for Christmas we asked her what she wanted, she said, you choose because I can’t think of any. So I think she’s getting to that stage as well. We bought her what we felt she needs and she really appreciated it. Soon she’ll get getting experiences as well

I Lso like charity gifts.

I agree with you, especially on kids and toys. I loaned a very very large toy to a neighbour recently and the kids didn’t realise it was gone. It’s about the height of my four year old and no one noticed.

I always want to do this but it's a small house and we need so much stuff for activities and different seasons that I can't whittle it down.

@WhiteFire - weekly would be what I keep accessible. Seasonal stuff like a sun hat I would not keep easy access now, I move the sun hats from hallway to drawer in bedroom, and move the winter hats to hallway as needed. That way a winter hat, scarf and mittens fit nicely as easy to find by door, and I’m not rummaging through summer gear. Also rotate things like flip flops and winter boots

Ooh good luck, moving is such a good opportunity to have a good cull! The last time we moved, we hired a big skip bin, DH (hoarder) even managed to throw out a whole couch!