Presents that mean you have to spend £££

CrapBucket · 2022-12-29T20:53:53+00:00

I don't want to out myself and I'm not ungrateful, just moaning because I haven't budgeted to spend more money making presents work, AIBU to be fed up and feeling sorry for myself 😭 Between me and the kids, two things so far both need specific adaptors/fitting widgets... so we have lovely thoughtful presents which we can't use until I figure out the correct widgets and buy them. I've got brain and purse ache.

Rowthe · 29/12/2022 20:56

I've been given a bold a bear voucher.

Not sure how much is on it, but expecting to have to put extra money in, also other kid will be very jealous so may have to buy another with own cash😥

Rowthe · 29/12/2022 20:56

Build a bear

Skyeheather · 29/12/2022 21:07

Rowthe · 29/12/2022 20:56

Build a bear

Last year DC1 got a Build a Bear voucher from DSIS. When we went to spend it other DC obviously wanted a bear too, so we had buy DC2 a bear plus an outfit and we had to top up DC1's voucher so he could get the whole outfit for his.

This year DC1 has received a cinema voucher, enough for his ticket plus popcorn and a drink. He cannot go without an adult and other DC will want to go too so we have to find the money for the whole family to go.

DC2 received a voucher for a different activity, same situation so again we have to pay for the other three family members to join in.

Why couldn't they just get an Amazon voucher!

Gensola · 29/12/2022 21:09

For our wedding we got a voucher for a Homeware website for £50 but the literal cheapest thing on the site is £125 😳 so our present is to spend £75 on something we don’t even want

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 21:21

MIL gave us a £50 voucher for a 5* hotel and spa. It's normally around £400 for a basic one night stay, we just don't have the extra money to add to the voucher, which she is fully aware of.

It's also over 2 hours away so it's not really worth the drive to use it towards a nice lunch.

MIL has form for giving gifts then taking them back and I expect she'll ask for it back so she can treat herself if we aren't using it.

Original poster

CrapBucket · 29/12/2022 21:30

Oh God, Build a Bear voucher is an awful present! Can you send the DC off with the present giver to spend it having a lovely time... its only fair to share the excitement of such a lovely gift????

A different voucher for every child is a nightmare too as is the homeware one and the hotel one!

OP posts:

SleekMamma · 29/12/2022 21:53

Build a bear is minimum £50 spend with additional emotional blackmail by the staff. It should be outlawed!

ShandaLear · 29/12/2022 22:00

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 21:21

MIL gave us a £50 voucher for a 5* hotel and spa. It's normally around £400 for a basic one night stay, we just don't have the extra money to add to the voucher, which she is fully aware of.

It's also over 2 hours away so it's not really worth the drive to use it towards a nice lunch.

MIL has form for giving gifts then taking them back and I expect she'll ask for it back so she can treat herself if we aren't using it.

In this case I would definitely not give it to her. I’d stall her - ‘we’re going next week’, ‘we couldn’t go so had to change the date’ ‘we’ve lost the voucher’ etc. until it runs out so she is fully aware that she’s wasted her money. Or even better, tell her that you gave it to Bob and Sandra across the road so they could get a scone and a coffee on their way to visit friends, or that you gave it to the school for the raffle. ‘It was a lovely thought, Eugenia, but we just couldn’t find the time to use it.’

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 23:19

@ShandaLear she definitely won't be getting it. My Sis thinks BIL might treat her to a stay in the hotel for valentine's day so said she will buy it off us if he does.

My DH suspects that DMIL has bought several people the £50 voucher knowing it's not enough for anyone to actually use and she'll ask for them all back and have enough to cover a stay of her own.

WhatCanWeDoNext · 29/12/2022 23:37

Could you sell the vouchers anywhere? Might have to sell below face value but not as much of a loss as paying all the additional stuff. Or would the child be too disappointed?

Rowthe · 30/12/2022 09:38

WhatCanWeDoNext · 29/12/2022 23:37

Could you sell the vouchers anywhere? Might have to sell below face value but not as much of a loss as paying all the additional stuff. Or would the child be too disappointed?

Not sure now.

Kid is really excited about the voucher.

Also the nearest place is over an hour away, so unless we just spend it online which doesnt give you the full experience we would have to drive over an hour away to spend it.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/12/2022 10:15

DM gave us some prints we asked for. I'd asked for x size (they are printed to order in a selection of sizes) which I knew would fit in off the shelf frames. All good. Except she took it on herself to be more generous to get them bigger - which means they'll need to be professionally framed.

Original poster

CrapBucket · 30/12/2022 10:18

Rowthe · 30/12/2022 09:38

Not sure now.

Kid is really excited about the voucher.

Also the nearest place is over an hour away, so unless we just spend it online which doesnt give you the full experience we would have to drive over an hour away to spend it.

Show quote history

I had an idea about Build A Bear, could you get clothes and accessories 2nd hand in advance, get them delivered with a letter from the Build A Bear Fairy telling your DC some amazing tale so that you only need the basic bear. Its still effort but makes it a little bit better.

OP posts:

Original poster

CrapBucket · 30/12/2022 10:19

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/12/2022 10:15

DM gave us some prints we asked for. I'd asked for x size (they are printed to order in a selection of sizes) which I knew would fit in off the shelf frames. All good. Except she took it on herself to be more generous to get them bigger - which means they'll need to be professionally framed.

Oh how frustrating!

OP posts:

WhatCanWeDoNext · 30/12/2022 14:54

Ah @Rowthe what an awkward present! 😫

I think I’d spend next year easing towards “let’s just buy for our own this year”

Wonnle · 30/12/2022 15:18

Gensola · 29/12/2022 21:09

For our wedding we got a voucher for a Homeware website for £50 but the literal cheapest thing on the site is £125 😳 so our present is to spend £75 on something we don’t even want

Or just right the voucher off

LongLiveGoblingKing · 30/12/2022 15:26

I've spent years drilling into my DH that it's not a gift if it requires organisation, money, or extra time outside of using the gift (IE travelling). Unless you have very specific instruction from someone that they want to make that effort, you're not giving a gift you're giving a task.

If you give flowers, you provide a vase or offer to put them in the recipients vase for them. If you buy a voucher to build a bear, you also organize to take the person to spend it.

I wish everyone followed my very sensible rules!

DelurkingAJ · 30/12/2022 15:30

DPIL have form for this. Vouchers that can only be used for an experience three hours drive away…wasn’t too bad when we didn’t have DC, now they just get wasted. Some of them can be converted into posh chocolates…which is better. They’re also for things DH has never expressed any interest in. DH is just perplexed, he’s not difficult to buy for!

cliffdiver · 30/12/2022 15:39

Also came on to say Build a Bear.

They sell £10 vouchers for £5 when you make a purchase.

DD2 was given a £10 voucher from a guest at a birthday party.

Cost us £30 to top up bear and buy extras when she spent it.

Also, Virgin Experience days that require a substantial outlay for travel.

redpinkyellow · 30/12/2022 15:43

SIL gave us some flavoured coffee a few years back that you needed a cafetière for which we didn't have. I was all for giving the coffee away but my husband went and bought one. I think we brewed the coffee once before the cafetière was knocked over and smashed 🙄

murasaki · 30/12/2022 15:48

I got a great bundle of build a bear clothes for my neice from ebay for about 15 quid on the advice of my sister, including flashing trainers. Maybe worth a look to upscale it? Cheaper than in store

rosesinmygarden · 30/12/2022 15:50

Skyeheather · 29/12/2022 21:07

Last year DC1 got a Build a Bear voucher from DSIS. When we went to spend it other DC obviously wanted a bear too, so we had buy DC2 a bear plus an outfit and we had to top up DC1's voucher so he could get the whole outfit for his.

This year DC1 has received a cinema voucher, enough for his ticket plus popcorn and a drink. He cannot go without an adult and other DC will want to go too so we have to find the money for the whole family to go.

DC2 received a voucher for a different activity, same situation so again we have to pay for the other three family members to join in.

Why couldn't they just get an Amazon voucher!

Show quote history

Why do both children HAVE to get a build a bear? Why do they HAVE to get extras? They don't. You CAN say no.

It's annoying to have to buy an adult ticket for the cinema/activity but again, you don't HAVE to all go.

It's an excellent life lesson for children to learn that there isn't an endless pot of money and they don't get everything the same all the time.

WhiteFire · 30/12/2022 15:58

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 23:19

@ShandaLear she definitely won't be getting it. My Sis thinks BIL might treat her to a stay in the hotel for valentine's day so said she will buy it off us if he does.

My DH suspects that DMIL has bought several people the £50 voucher knowing it's not enough for anyone to actually use and she'll ask for them all back and have enough to cover a stay of her own.

You have to be impressed with her ingenuity.

aintnothinbutagstring · 30/12/2022 16:04

I think those red letter vouchers are the worst - so much faff to arrange, cant do any of it online, have to call a number, only certain dates allowed. They probably make money out of people buying the vouchers and them never being used.

Emmacb82 · 30/12/2022 16:08

If one of my children got a build a bear voucher and the other one didn’t, that’s tough! You take the child that’s got the voucher and let them spend it. The other child doesn’t have to be involved, but if they have to go, then they understand that they got a voucher for something else! I couldn’t afford to let them all have everything the other had. It’s a good lesson for them to learn that they can’t always have everything.