Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Presents that mean you have to spend £££

75 replies

CrapBucket · 29/12/2022 20:53

I don't want to out myself and I'm not ungrateful, just moaning because I haven't budgeted to spend more money making presents work, AIBU to be fed up and feeling sorry for myself 😭

Between me and the kids, two things so far both need specific adaptors/fitting widgets... so we have lovely thoughtful presents which we can't use until I figure out the correct widgets and buy them. I've got brain and purse ache.

OP posts:
Tigger7654 · 30/12/2022 16:22

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 21:21

MIL gave us a £50 voucher for a 5* hotel and spa. It's normally around £400 for a basic one night stay, we just don't have the extra money to add to the voucher, which she is fully aware of.

It's also over 2 hours away so it's not really worth the drive to use it towards a nice lunch.

MIL has form for giving gifts then taking them back and I expect she'll ask for it back so she can treat herself if we aren't using it.

If you can't use it is there ANYONE else you could give it to, no way would I let CF MIL have it back!

SeenAndNot · 30/12/2022 17:05

I’ve often thought this. As a small business owner I sell gift vouchers, but I try to explain to purchasers that they are best buying a bigger voucher so there’s stuff included with it. Most just want to pay the base fee, they’ll get the experience but they won’t walk away with actual product, which is pretty pointless.

gabsdot45 · 30/12/2022 17:23

One Christmas MIL bought DH and I Groupon voucher for a hotel stay.
It was only for the hotel, no food included plus it was a 4 hour drive away and could only be used mid week and had to used by the end of March. .
We did actually go and we had a nice time but it cost us a lot of money for petrol and food plus we had to use up annual leave to go.
It was quite a thoughtless gift really.

MatildaTheCat · 30/12/2022 17:32

Yes. Tickets to see a band which will require a 2 night stay in a seaside town in high summer.

The same band plays very regularly at a festival which is about 15 minutes from our house and we’ve never bothered to go.

AllTheAll · 30/12/2022 17:50

Aren't there sites to resell these vouchers? Even at a cut, you're still somewhat ahead?

Is cash better than vouchers then or still too vulgar?

OneFrenchEgg · 30/12/2022 18:11

I agree on the voucher - the recipient seems to have done one each so that's what they get. I wouldn't be buying the same gift for the other child twice to make it 'fair'.

Original poster
CrapBucket · 30/12/2022 19:16

Let's be honest though, no one wants their present to have a bloody Life Lesson attached. All siblings grow up knowing about sharing etc but building it into a Christmas present is a PITA.

OP posts:
RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 30/12/2022 19:19

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 21:21

MIL gave us a £50 voucher for a 5* hotel and spa. It's normally around £400 for a basic one night stay, we just don't have the extra money to add to the voucher, which she is fully aware of.

It's also over 2 hours away so it's not really worth the drive to use it towards a nice lunch.

MIL has form for giving gifts then taking them back and I expect she'll ask for it back so she can treat herself if we aren't using it.

I'd be tempted to sell it for a tenner online and buy myself a bottle of wine.

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 30/12/2022 19:21

My mum used to always gift DH and I experience vouchers when we were both students with our funding running out. It was always something that would be expensive and time consuming to get to and not something we had any interest in. Even when we told her not to as we don't have time to do an experience gift shed but one anyway and say we sounded stressed and need to relsx. Bless her she definitely meant well though. Some of these just sound irritating.

Catslovepies · 30/12/2022 19:26

My dad always gives me prints of photographs he's taken (he's a keen amateur photographer of birds he sees in his neighbourhood). Not only am I expected to pay to frame them, I'm also expected to display photos I don't particularly like in my home. After the first couple of times I've stopped doing it and now have a stack of these photos hidden away somewhere.

Catslovepies · 30/12/2022 19:26

And they're large prints too - 60cm x 90cm!

UsingChangeofName · 30/12/2022 19:33

I agree most of these would be really annoying, and show a lack of thought, but I agree with @rosesinmygarden on P1, that if one child had a voucher as a gift, it wouldn't occur to me to then 'buy' the other child(ren) the same. I presume the other dc had their own presents at Christmas.
Would you do the same if one of your dc got a lego set or a new football or an electronic game or some clothing and the other one didn't ? Rush out and buy a football / some lego / etc for the others ? I know I wouldn't.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/12/2022 19:35

If a voucher didn't cover the full cost of something I wanted, I would bin it or give it away. And if someone asked "When are you going on that hotel break" I would say a £50 voucher didn't cover it, and I didn't want to pay the other £350.

I don't even like when DS is given a craft or building toy that will require lots of input from me. I gave been known to get rid of knex kits and robot building sets - these should only be given if the giver plans to sit and work through the construction process with the child, in my opinion.

AllIwantforChristmas22 · 30/12/2022 19:41

Not this year, a few years ago: DB gave DC a voucher for his local zoo.
we paid for flights, taxi, two nights in a Hotel and spent around €800 and DB paid for zoo entry. I gave his DC a voucher for Peppa Pig the year after (they don’t live jn England) 🤣

BabyofMine · 30/12/2022 19:51

That’s marvellous, did they go?! 😂

elrider · 30/12/2022 19:55

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/12/2022 19:35

If a voucher didn't cover the full cost of something I wanted, I would bin it or give it away. And if someone asked "When are you going on that hotel break" I would say a £50 voucher didn't cover it, and I didn't want to pay the other £350.

I don't even like when DS is given a craft or building toy that will require lots of input from me. I gave been known to get rid of knex kits and robot building sets - these should only be given if the giver plans to sit and work through the construction process with the child, in my opinion.

Yes! The craft and "input" gifts for children! I want my kids to get something they can just enjoy, not something they have to follow me around asking me to do with them for me to feel guilty that I have to feed the baby, make the dinner, etc instead of making bath bombs or reading out instructions for how to cut and fold some craft thing or other. I can barely piece together enough time to do their required homework and the occasional family board/card game for fun - I don't have time for the pile of children's "gifts" that are now forming a new to do list. I don't remotely enjoy any kind of crafting either. It's added guilt for me, and resentment for them, that they can't use their new gifts until I have a solid hour or whatever free (never happens with a high needs baby).

BrutusMcDogface · 30/12/2022 19:58

I also would not be buying a build a bear for a child who “obviously wanted one” because their sibling got a voucher as a present! Dear god. This is how we have such entitled children.

caravanbuckie · 30/12/2022 20:02

Last year DC1 got a Build a Bear voucher from DSIS. When we went to spend it other DC obviously wanted a bear too, so we had buy DC2 a bear plus an outfit and we had to top up DC1's voucher so he could get the whole outfit for his.

No, you didn't have to do that at all.

One year my Nanna wanted to buy us a caravan without a single thought to how much it would cost us, for what she called 'free' holidays Confused

Hoppinggreen · 30/12/2022 20:03

MIL bought something for me and DH that will involve us paying for a hotel.
Plus I’m not comfortable leaving the DC at home overnight so they will have to come. And I will have to arrange a dog sitter

MenaiMna · 30/12/2022 20:05

There are at least 4 trusted UK card resellers/exchanges. I found out about them from moneysaving expert. Not sure if I'm allowed to name them but here goes: cardyard zapper place4giftcards , ou wont get full value & I've only purchased but they worked.
Someone gives my kid a craft kit I would say "thank you for the work" under my breath in a most ungracious passagg way I'm afraid...

LucyAnnM · 30/12/2022 20:08

Why do both children HAVE to get a build a bear? Why do they HAVE to get extras? They don't. You CAN say no

I agree with @rosesinmygarden

You don't have to buy one for the child who didn't receive the same gift, etc

BobinogBobbleHat · 30/12/2022 20:12

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 23:19

@ShandaLear she definitely won't be getting it. My Sis thinks BIL might treat her to a stay in the hotel for valentine's day so said she will buy it off us if he does.

My DH suspects that DMIL has bought several people the £50 voucher knowing it's not enough for anyone to actually use and she'll ask for them all back and have enough to cover a stay of her own.

Your MIL is an evil genius.

Eekle · 30/12/2022 20:17

DD got a plaster moulding kit for her birthday last year.

She's finally forgotten about it - I have no intention of doing it with her, absolute faff.

Same person got both DC painting kits for Christmas this year. At least that one only needed me to put the things out for them and leave them to it and clean up afterwards

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 30/12/2022 20:23

Re the build-a-bear voucher, how old is your dc? Could you take them in their birthday month and pay their age for the initial bear?

I hate vouchers unless it’s been specifically requested or generic one you can use in multiple locations.

I remember buying friends a gift voucher once, I was mortified when it didn’t even cover the basics of what I gave it them for, I was supposed to be for brunch, make over and photoshoot for a couple, but it only covered the costs for one and then there were extra costs for photos. I was young and didn’t think things through when I gave it them. I haven’t made the mistake again.

PumpkinLumpkin · 30/12/2022 20:32

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 30/12/2022 20:23

Re the build-a-bear voucher, how old is your dc? Could you take them in their birthday month and pay their age for the initial bear?

I hate vouchers unless it’s been specifically requested or generic one you can use in multiple locations.

I remember buying friends a gift voucher once, I was mortified when it didn’t even cover the basics of what I gave it them for, I was supposed to be for brunch, make over and photoshoot for a couple, but it only covered the costs for one and then there were extra costs for photos. I was young and didn’t think things through when I gave it them. I haven’t made the mistake again.

Pay their age? What's this? So a one year old would get a bear for £1?? 😯