Page 3 | Presents that mean you have to spend £££

CrapBucket · 2022-12-29T20:53:53+00:00

I don't want to out myself and I'm not ungrateful, just moaning because I haven't budgeted to spend more money making presents work, AIBU to be fed up and feeling sorry for myself 😭 Between me and the kids, two things so far both need specific adaptors/fitting widgets... so we have lovely thoughtful presents which we can't use until I figure out the correct widgets and buy them. I've got brain and purse ache.

SnackSizeRaisin · 30/12/2022 20:37

Eekle · 30/12/2022 20:17

DD got a plaster moulding kit for her birthday last year.

She's finally forgotten about it - I have no intention of doing it with her, absolute faff.

Same person got both DC painting kits for Christmas this year. At least that one only needed me to put the things out for them and leave them to it and clean up afterwards

That's a bit sad. A whole year has passed and you haven't had 30 minutes spare for doing an activity with your daughter. Surely these kinds of gifts are a great opportunity to spend some fun time with your child, letting them try something new and exciting? Ideal for a rainy afternoon surely.

biffandchip · 30/12/2022 20:45

Oh yes. A friend gifted me a £30 voucher for her neice’s shop, I’ll have to spend at least £60 for something I don’t really need. Or want.

Eekle · 30/12/2022 20:48

SnackSizeRaisin · 30/12/2022 20:37

That's a bit sad. A whole year has passed and you haven't had 30 minutes spare for doing an activity with your daughter. Surely these kinds of gifts are a great opportunity to spend some fun time with your child, letting them try something new and exciting? Ideal for a rainy afternoon surely.

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It was her birthday present, so about 6 months actually.

We have a whole host of preferred rainy afternoon activities, she's not neglected on that front. I'm just not in any rush to do a multi-part (make the plaster, pour into the moulds, let it set, forget about it for another few weeks, paint it, let it dry, find a home for it, etc) activity that will end up me doing 90% of the work for her when she invariably gets bored. And all this with her younger DS getting in the way.

Baking, for instance, has a much better end product and takes less emotional energy from me.

I've not gotten rid of it. Happy for her to do it when she can do more of the process with less input from me (I'll still spend the time with her!)

dinmin · 30/12/2022 20:48

LongLiveGoblingKing · 30/12/2022 15:26

I've spent years drilling into my DH that it's not a gift if it requires organisation, money, or extra time outside of using the gift (IE travelling). Unless you have very specific instruction from someone that they want to make that effort, you're not giving a gift you're giving a task.

If you give flowers, you provide a vase or offer to put them in the recipients vase for them. If you buy a voucher to build a bear, you also organize to take the person to spend it.

I wish everyone followed my very sensible rules!

This! Luckily my DH is also well trained in putting flowers he buys me or we take to anyone else’s house as a gift into water (trimming stems, adding the food etc.)

CeeceeBloomingdale · 30/12/2022 20:50

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/12/2022 10:15

DM gave us some prints we asked for. I'd asked for x size (they are printed to order in a selection of sizes) which I knew would fit in off the shelf frames. All good. Except she took it on herself to be more generous to get them bigger - which means they'll need to be professionally framed.

It's cheaper to buy mounts (wilko sell them but if you need a niche size try ebay). You can even get them cut to your own measurements on eBay so non-standard print for internal size and very standard IKEA or Wilko frame size on the outside.

SweetSakura · 30/12/2022 20:52

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 23:19

@ShandaLear she definitely won't be getting it. My Sis thinks BIL might treat her to a stay in the hotel for valentine's day so said she will buy it off us if he does.

My DH suspects that DMIL has bought several people the £50 voucher knowing it's not enough for anyone to actually use and she'll ask for them all back and have enough to cover a stay of her own.

I mean, I am sort of secretly impressed by her

SweetSakura · 30/12/2022 20:55

I was chortling at this thread then realise I have bought DH tickets to see a comedian in Brighton so have suggested we combine it with booking a hotel and dog.sitfer and making it into a weekend, and so maybe I am just as bad . We generally have lots of hotel points we can use though

SweetSakura · 30/12/2022 20:55

I was chortling at this thread then realise I have bought DH tickets to see a comedian in Brighton so have suggested we combine it with booking a hotel and dog.sitfer and making it into a weekend, and so maybe I am just as bad . We generally have lots of hotel points we can use though

thecatsthecats · 30/12/2022 20:59

LongLiveGoblingKing · 30/12/2022 15:26

I've spent years drilling into my DH that it's not a gift if it requires organisation, money, or extra time outside of using the gift (IE travelling). Unless you have very specific instruction from someone that they want to make that effort, you're not giving a gift you're giving a task.

If you give flowers, you provide a vase or offer to put them in the recipients vase for them. If you buy a voucher to build a bear, you also organize to take the person to spend it.

I wish everyone followed my very sensible rules!

My rule for experience gifts is that I only buy them for my husband, and I pick a date and book it directly, plus the hotel/sitters.

No vouchers. Currently sitting on H&M vouchers, when the damn shop is for twenty somethings with fugly taste.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 30/12/2022 21:02

SweetSakura · 30/12/2022 20:55

I was chortling at this thread then realise I have bought DH tickets to see a comedian in Brighton so have suggested we combine it with booking a hotel and dog.sitfer and making it into a weekend, and so maybe I am just as bad . We generally have lots of hotel points we can use though

I didn't think it's a big deal when it's your partner and you share finances as you have inside knowledge on if the gift is achieveable.

I've just remembered how delighted my friend was at having bought her sister a £25 voucher for Venture Photography. Sister ending up spending about £3k with their pressure sales tactics Even worse was the fact I was a photographer at the time and could have done the same (or better!) for a fraction of that price.

Mybestyear · 30/12/2022 21:03

My husband got a wine tasting voucher for one person in his work secret Santa a few years ago. Cost for someone to go with him was £30. Plus someone to take there and collect/taxi as it’s in the middle of nowhere and obviously you can’t drive yourself.

I’m a former alcohol abuser (which his colleagues knew) so couldn’t go and none of his friends wanted to fork out as they weren’t really into wine. So it ended up just sitting in a cupboard then expiring.

neighboursmustliveon · 30/12/2022 21:08

@PumpkinLumpkin Yes, a 1 year old can get a bear for £1, a 2 year old for £2 etc. it is a specific bear I think, you don't get to choose anyone.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/12/2022 21:11

@LongLiveGoblingKing,couldn't agree more.
DM gave dd (11) a skateboard for her birthday, on the basis 1-that when we were growing up, a lot of the teenagers (ride skateboards. I grew up in central London, and yes a lot of the boys I went to school skated under the South Bank Centre .I now live in a former Yorkshire pit village. 2-that we are an outdoorsy family. True, although we've never done any skateboarding, or any other boarding.

Guess who is taking DD to a skateboarding club at 9 am on Saturday mornings ???!

kagerou · 30/12/2022 21:16

PumpkinLumpkin · 30/12/2022 20:32

Pay their age? What's this? So a one year old would get a bear for £1?? 😯

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Yep, my 1 year old got a £1 bear for her birthday, I paid extra for a birthday hat for it to wear but that's it

starfishmummy · 30/12/2022 21:30

Not on the same scale but toys which take several million batteries (in weird and expensive sizes). Even before I had my own dc, I never sent a present without the relevant batteries!

JockTamsonsBairns · 30/12/2022 21:32

My adult DS bought me 2 tickets for a Rangers football game in March, the expectation being that we go together. Brilliant - I'm actually delighted, looking forward to going, and getting the chance to hang out with him for a couple of days.
Thing is, I live down in England. So, I'll be detouring to pick him up in Newcastle, driving up to Glasgow, attending the match, then finding hotel accommodation for us both, then the associated evening meal and breakfast the following morning.
I'm not complaining, but this present is going to cost me a fortune!

goingback · 30/12/2022 22:16

currently have an experience voucher rapidly reaching expiry- have called and emailed them , spent hours going round and round the website to find somewhere we would like, when we are able to go, within a reasonable distance, that is not going to cost us extra to book. So far been unsuccessful and looks like we may have to have multiple afternoon teas to use it up.
I wonder how much the business makes from expired and unused vouchers?

TigerDroveAgain · 30/12/2022 22:27

DH planned to buy me dinner and a night’s stay at an amazing hotel- which is at least a day and a half’s drive away and realistically would need several days off work to get there and back.

So - sensibly he’s not bought the present but we are planning to take a week off in the summer to go.

That’s the way to do it - but equally I’ve had presents for cocktail classes in London which would require a four hour round trip and can only be done on certain Wednesdays - not delightful!

OptimusPrime31 · 30/12/2022 22:47

This reminds me of a time my friend brought her dp Ed Sheeran tickets. He was delighted until he realised that the concert was in France and that the travel and hotel weren't included in the gift😅

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 30/12/2022 23:00

PumpkinLumpkin · 30/12/2022 20:32

Pay their age? What's this? So a one year old would get a bear for £1?? 😯

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Yes, I took my dd for her 5th birthday and she paid £5. It has to be the birthday bear though.

www.buildabear.co.uk/collections/count-your-candles

ColdHandsHotHead · 30/12/2022 23:03

NimrodNimroy · 29/12/2022 23:19

@ShandaLear she definitely won't be getting it. My Sis thinks BIL might treat her to a stay in the hotel for valentine's day so said she will buy it off us if he does.

My DH suspects that DMIL has bought several people the £50 voucher knowing it's not enough for anyone to actually use and she'll ask for them all back and have enough to cover a stay of her own.

OMG! I'd do some discreet research then put them all in hat together and the lucky winner scoops the lot.

ColdHandsHotHead · 30/12/2022 23:05

This is the trouble with afternoon tea vouchers. You don't just buy for the person, you buy for their partner.

I take my friends out to tea and just pay.

Suzi888 · 30/12/2022 23:21

Sell the vouchers, gift it yourself, give to a charity… just to spite whoever.

Build a bear- we have several - DD has stripped them of their clothes and shoes to reveal fairly unattractive bodies. Thought they’d be soft and cuddly… she’s not impressed.

Glad to know we’re raping the planet and filling it with pointless, plastic, furry shit, coffee/alcohol shots with ridiculous tiny novelty glass, in a chunk of cardboard that nobody wants. Spending wads of cash on “experiences” nobody actually needs or desires because they can’t be arsed to get there.

Redebs · 30/12/2022 23:21

Yes, grr
'Batteries not included; takes 6 AAA'
or
'Redeem your free caterpillar voucher online and give us your card details to pay three quid for postage'

I do think craft kits are ok gifts, though. Everyone can spare half an hour to mix up a bit of plaster or paint a figurine. As long as the parts are included, making things together is brilliant for kids.

SuperPup86 · 30/12/2022 23:31

DH and I have been bought tickets to musicals by two different family members.

One in London (4 hours away) and the other in a City 5 hours away.

They're both for this January 🥴

The tickets were expensive and for shows we'll love so it's a lovely gift. But fuck me, we're always skint in January. I've no idea how we're going to manage it.