To not want to hear about people’s dreams

[Catcherintherice]

I am not sure if it’s just me as some people seem genuinely interested.

I don’t mean bad or scary dreams that children or adults might need to talk through as they were upsetting. I am not that mean.

I also don’t mind a brief idea of what might have been an amusing element.

I just don’t want to hear a blow by blow account of each stage of a dream. To me it’s a bit like being told the full list and conclusion of a child’s game of consequences. Many dreams seem just as random.

DH seems to have frequent complex dreams. He will make statements, eg ‘I was cooking baked beans on a camping stove in the Brecon Beacons’ and I will ask when he went there, and he will say ‘ in a dream last night’

Anyway things came to a bit of a head today. We have both been home a lot, and maybe the rich food has been increasing the intensity of his dreams, but I have had enough hearing about them.

When he came bowling into the kitchen this morning as I was unloading the dishwasher and said ‘ oh, I just don’t know where to start with my dreams today’ I fairly unsubtly replied ‘ how about the end’?

He has had the hump all day and says I am unsupportive and should be interested.

I am interested in things he has done which have actually happened, but I just can’t work up any enthusiasm about often illogical dreams.

AIBU?

I think I'd start using the golden opportunity to subtly take the piss to be honest?

He has a dream about something e.g being at the top of a mountain, and you say ''Oooh, that's supposed to mean you think you're 'above' everyone else !'

He dreams about beans ? You say 'That's supposed to mean you have digestive issues, have you been passing more wind ?'

Whatever he dreams about, make up a stupid 'meaning'. At least you'll have a bit of fun ? 😉

At least his dreams are better than mine. My H and DC are STILL laughing about my latest one ! I was dreaming about Johnnie Depp, you know, when he's in the 'Sauvage' aftershave and burying his jewellery in the desert ?
I didn't have the more 'usual', sexy dream about him, no, MY dream was that I was shouting at him for getting the jewellery all dirty, so he'd better 'wise up' and un-bury it, pronto ! 😳😂

Yanbu
Other people telling you about their dreams is boring. I think everyone should have the decency to not inflict it on others.

He should have some self awareness. Expecting you to enjoy listening to him retell his dreams seems self absorbed and a bit tone deaf.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

I have said YANBU because it’s boring as hell listening to other peoples dreams - BUT I am ashamed to say I love sharing my dreams with other people 😁

YANBU, listening to other people describe their dreams is up there with those yapping on about their diets for utter boredom.

I do t mind hearing them, OH hates it. I thought your answer was quite funny OP, but that's because me or my partner wouldn't be hurt by that. It's not worth hurting him over a short conversation, but the ideas mentioned about limiting the number he tells you about or getting him to do a task whilst telling you could work.

No she doesn't!

Yes, she does.

an absolute bore to boot

God I hate hearing about people's dreams in minute detail. I don't mind a quick summary, especially it it's mildly amusing, but I don't want to hear about someone's dream for 5 minutes.

I also hate dream sequences in fiction. Skim skim skim

Why? Because she doesn't want to hear about someone's boring dream in great detail. Come off it!

There's a part in the diaries of Adrian Mole where he tries to tell his mother one of his dreams and she tells him, 'The only thing more boring than listening to other people's problems is listening to their dreams.' I felt that. 😂

I was just about to post the same thing about looking at others holiday pics. I hate it 😂

Who on earth would want to hear a load of made up nonsense? I can only ever remember snippets of dreams - I’m sure he’ll have to embellish as he bores you to tears. Life’s too short.

In the interests of balance, I have a lot of recurring dreams. When I was with my abusive exh I dreamt a certain dream constantly. I left him and the dream stopped. Dreams aren't always random. Mine definitely reflect what is going on in my life and quite often they surprise me and mean something to me. That's why I'm trying to share them with my friends and family. I don't go into lots of detail (usually because I can't remember it that clearly) but I'm doing it to tell you something about me, not to bore you.

I really love hearing about people's dreams. So much more exciting than actual real life.
But then I also like writing stories and other people's dreams can really trigger off the imagination.

This reminded me of the musical Joseph... and the dream song...

When I saw it in the theatre last year, that song made me laugh out loud, as Joseph told of his dreams... and his brothers rolled their eyes. Everyone knows other people's dreams are boring!

"Joseph's coat annoyed his brothers
But what makes us mad
Are the things that Joseph tells us of the
Dreams he's often had"

Make up a really boring dream and see how he likes it. He will stop telling you his dreams. Men often want an audience but don’t want to be the audience.

I don’t know. To me it depends - do you never tell him things? If I’ve got a lot on my mind, say a stressful schedule etc, I like telling DH, and he talks it through with me. Sometimes if he’s stressed out he tells me and I talk it through with him. If I started being snippy and saying ‘ughhhh, shut up about work’ that would be fine, but I could hardly then expect him to listen to me in return.

I’m sure you do probably talk about stuff that’s boring to him - will you be happy to receive the same ‘at the end’ response when you want to talk about something?

I can't bear to hear of anyone's dreams. I used to listen politely but now I just shut them down straight away, otherwise my heart races and I feel sick. Obviously a complete overreaction to the boredom but I can't help it now, lol

But work and stress are real, dreams are fictional and meaningless, completely different

Been here long? 🤔 Certainly learned the lingo!

What's 'hard work' here is listening to a blow by blow account of someone else's random night-thought wanderings.

Boring as batshit.

👏👍🏻

They’re still part of your life. If your partner experiences them they still affect their day etc. Talking about feelings and stresses and even future hopes and dreams aren’t exactly mind blowing in a relationship. There’s no rule saying you must only discuss the daily facts of life and nothing else with the person you are closest to.

No, you're mixing up having a dream for, say, how you'd like to make it big in Hollywood/ become regional manager for Dyson; and night-time asleep dreaming of random shite.

Very different concepts, same word.

HE sounds like hard work!

“You should be supportive about my dreams!” What a flannel.

Likewise.