Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wont stop asking!

852 replies

Castleontheisland · 28/12/2022 05:05

Name changed for this as my other threads are quite outing. Sorry its long!

Me and partner are away for a few days over Christmas, our next door neighbour has a spare key for our house for emergencies (we have their spare house key as well). We are not close friends just normal neighbours, They have had family visiting over Christmas/new year. On boxing day they text me and asked if some of their family could sleep in our home as more of the family had arrive unexpectedly! We said no because beds need changing and heating not on etc.(also I dont want strangers in my home)Well since then we have had text after text asking over and over again! I have also repeatedly tried to ring them but they are not picking up! The last one was very late last night (I was already in bed asleep)asking again and saying the family who they want to stay's car has broken down! I feel like packing up here and going home now as so worried they will just use my house anyway! I dont have any friends or family nearby who can check on my home. My partner has said they surely wont just use our house but I'm not sure they wont. 😥

OP posts:
Debsthegardener · 28/12/2022 13:01

You don’t need an excuse so say no, but an easy one is that your house insurance would not cover anyone staying there whilst you were away - certainly not if they damaged your property. What if something happened? It’s insanely rude of them to ask even once!! I’m outraged on your behalf

Bestcatmum · 28/12/2022 13:03

I would text them back and say asolutely NOT.

JoyBeorge · 28/12/2022 13:06

If you're not even friends and she just won't stop asking then clearly the message isn't getting through to her. You are going to have to be very clear and very blunt. Just tell her 'No. I don't want people i don't know in my house and that if i find out you have let them in with the spare key, the relationship between us ends permanently. Please don't ask again.'

MavisMcMinty · 28/12/2022 13:15

I’m currently letting my self-contained annexe to a neighbour’s parents, as the neighbours are hosting loads of people over Christmas that they don’t have room for. We’re charging them £40 a night, and they seem to find this entirely reasonable, so invoice your neighbours when you get home. YANBU.

1983Louise · 28/12/2022 13:15

You can't do much now other than go home early unfortunately. Once home get your key back and put a key safe on your property so they never, ever have to keep your key again.

Wetblanket78 · 28/12/2022 13:33

I wouldn't be happy with strangers staying in my home when I'm not there. It's not an air BnB. No reason why they can't bed down in the living room. Could you contact police and explain the situation? See if they can pop around and check. You need to get that key back off them when they return.

DonttouchthatLarry · 28/12/2022 13:34

My in laws used to have a holiday home abroad and the neighbour had keys. DH and I got cheap last minute flights once and as we pulled on the drive the neighbour came over and said 'oh, your mum never said you were coming'. He told us they had family staying - we knew they only had 2 bedrooms and wondered where they were all going to sleep. We're sure they were going to use our villa - and then wondered if they'd done it before as MIL usually told him when people were going.

Butchyrestingface · 28/12/2022 13:40

Last week I posted Christmas cardthrough a few of the neighbours doors and she was coming out of her house at the same time Ivwas going up her path.
We sort of asked each other about Christmas plans so she knows we were going away for a week and she told my her family were coming to visit over Christmas.

Did you ask THEM to take the spare key or did they offer, @Castleontheisland?

whynotwhatknot · 28/12/2022 13:45

wsouldnt leave keys with neighbours if a burst pipe happens then it happens-only person whose got a spar eis my sister

FamilyLife2point4 · 28/12/2022 13:49

I have to agree with PP, sounds like they already have opened your home up to others now trying to cover. I hope you charge them with trespassing and whatever else you can get thrown in. It’s an abuse of your trust and your home.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 28/12/2022 13:50

Wetblanket78 · 28/12/2022 13:33

I wouldn't be happy with strangers staying in my home when I'm not there. It's not an air BnB. No reason why they can't bed down in the living room. Could you contact police and explain the situation? See if they can pop around and check. You need to get that key back off them when they return.

I was thinking ring the police, too.

amonsteronthehill · 28/12/2022 14:01

DonttouchthatLarry · 28/12/2022 13:34

My in laws used to have a holiday home abroad and the neighbour had keys. DH and I got cheap last minute flights once and as we pulled on the drive the neighbour came over and said 'oh, your mum never said you were coming'. He told us they had family staying - we knew they only had 2 bedrooms and wondered where they were all going to sleep. We're sure they were going to use our villa - and then wondered if they'd done it before as MIL usually told him when people were going.

I hope you had the locks changed while you were there!

LookItsMeAgain · 28/12/2022 14:02

I'm sorry that your Christmas break is being ruined by this uncertainty. I do hope that your mum and sister are able to discover if the neighbours have been using your house in your absence.

One of the things I do before going on a trip is to leave the fridge on but with no food whatsoever in it. Freezer is ok but fridge no. No milk, nothing. I also leave all of my dishes clean and in the cupboard, not on the drainer (which is where I would leave them if I was at home). Would you know by the delph/cutlery that might have been left out if someone had used it or not?

I wouldn't ask for the key back, I'd just change the locks. They don't seem very trustworthy to keep pestering you about this.

Pheefifofuckthisshit · 28/12/2022 14:04

Oh my god this is awful! I'd feel sick at the idea of random people I've never met wandering around my house and sleeping in my bed. Who thinks that's okay to even ASK about?! 😱. {[Shudder]}

I like the idea of getting a taxi to knock.

Hoping when your relatives check later that no one has been in. Will they have a key to go in and check?

icelollycraving · 28/12/2022 14:04

Jesus, surely this can’t be real?! After various CF threads I’ve enjoyed over the years, I guess it could be.
Has your sister got a key? Get yours back from the neighbour, then get her to check the house.
Tell them you have cameras and if you see them anywhere near, you’ll be phoning the police along with invoicing them for a locksmith.

DonttouchthatLarry · 28/12/2022 14:08

amonsteronthehill · 28/12/2022 14:01

I hope you had the locks changed while you were there!

Show quote history

No as he did help out with the place and it was easier for him to have a spare key than one of us to fly out if anything needed doing. It wasn't as much of a violation as the OP as it was let out so it wasn't people sleeping in our own beds as such, more the CF of it, but think it gave him a bit of a shock 😀. To be fair MIL would have probably said ok if he'd asked and it was available - I always wonder if we'd have found people in bed if we'd got a later flight 😂

Aquasulis · 28/12/2022 14:11

If they have used your house I would go absolutely bonkers. Always use a key safe and only give the number to anyone that needs it in an emergency. I would text them and say they have ruined your holiday and stressed you out - do this after you have got the key back

HideousKinky · 28/12/2022 14:18

This is outrageous and the repeated requests show no respect for your firm refusal

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 28/12/2022 14:19

Give some people an inch and they a ruddy yard, don't they? Cheeky beggars. It sounds like they've really taken advantage of you. It's a shame as we need good neighbours but this is obviously the end of your relations with them. I'd definitely get the keys back at the very least.

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 14:30

daisychain01 · 28/12/2022 12:29

The OP didn't give the house keys to the NDN for them to give access to other people the OP didn't know and had never met before, without the OPs express permission Thats the bit where trespass applies.

Have you read the thread?

Show quote history

But how on earth could that be proved unless something in writing.

at face value, the neighbours were given the OP’s house keys for no defined period and for no defined purpose.

That is the only fact. The OP’s reasoning behind why she gave the keys is utterly abstract and no proof whatsoever

so on the basis of above, the police would be disinterested and proving trespassing…. On what grounds?

uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/12/2022 14:30

Incredibly cheeky to bombard you with texts asking you.
I would change the locks in case they've made copies and buy a key safe with a pin

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 14:32

Inkpotlover · 28/12/2022 12:33

No, she's not. She's specifically told the NDN they cannot access the property to stay there.

My NDN has my keys in case I ever get locked out or my DD loses her and can't get in after school. That does NOT give my NDN the right to access my property whenever she feels like it!

Show quote history

Yes the Op and the neighbour know precisely why the neighbour was given the key and the neighbour is behaving abysmally by breaching that trust.

in the eyes of the law however…. The neighbour could say “I’m completely baffled, the Op kindly gave me the keys and said my visitors could use for the night”

over to you Op… prove otherwise

CoconutQueen · 28/12/2022 14:42

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 14:32

Yes the Op and the neighbour know precisely why the neighbour was given the key and the neighbour is behaving abysmally by breaching that trust.

in the eyes of the law however…. The neighbour could say “I’m completely baffled, the Op kindly gave me the keys and said my visitors could use for the night”

over to you Op… prove otherwise

Show quote history

They asked via text so the OP can prove that she clearly said NO you may NOT use my house. So definitely call the Police.

worstusernameeverx2 · 28/12/2022 14:43

Definitely take the key back when you get home 😳

Longstockin · 28/12/2022 14:43

I would text them telling them you are coming back early but don’t tell them when, so if someone is in your home then they will rush out. Super cheeky and I do hope they have more sense than to use your home without your say so! I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday