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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wont stop asking!

852 replies

Castleontheisland · 28/12/2022 05:05

Name changed for this as my other threads are quite outing. Sorry its long!

Me and partner are away for a few days over Christmas, our next door neighbour has a spare key for our house for emergencies (we have their spare house key as well). We are not close friends just normal neighbours, They have had family visiting over Christmas/new year. On boxing day they text me and asked if some of their family could sleep in our home as more of the family had arrive unexpectedly! We said no because beds need changing and heating not on etc.(also I dont want strangers in my home)Well since then we have had text after text asking over and over again! I have also repeatedly tried to ring them but they are not picking up! The last one was very late last night (I was already in bed asleep)asking again and saying the family who they want to stay's car has broken down! I feel like packing up here and going home now as so worried they will just use my house anyway! I dont have any friends or family nearby who can check on my home. My partner has said they surely wont just use our house but I'm not sure they wont. 😥

OP posts:
Stripedbag101 · 28/12/2022 11:20

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:10

Have you checked whether adheres with your insurance for any door with outside access?

Show quote history

The doors have multi point locking systems. The barrel is yale and complaint with all standards.

Locks are regularly changed in doors - if you lose keys or snap a key you need to change the barrel.

Pterrydactyl · 28/12/2022 11:25

Asking once would be cheeky enough, but all the repeated asking would be making me very suspicious about whether those relatives are already in there.

I’d be taking keys back and / or changing locks when I got back. If someone else has a set of your keys, then you need to be able to trust them to be responsible with them.

RosesAndHellebores · 28/12/2022 11:26

@Ursuladevine where in my posts have I referred to house insurance. The article says if the burglar is a person to whom the owner has given keys. Burglary is a criminal offence; trespass is a civil offence.

I cannot imagine any of my former neighbours, who remain lifelong friends, ever having used my spare keys to burgle my property.

sweetdreamtennasee · 28/12/2022 11:26

sorry but I actually can’t stop thinking about this

I’ve heard people who have had their houses broken into and had things stolen say they worst thing about the ordeal was that people/strangers had been in their home, invading their personal safe space, and have had nightmares and lasting post traumatic stress because of it.

This is really not on, I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/12/2022 11:27

AngelontopoftheTree · 28/12/2022 08:55

I can't believe 3% of prior corr YABU, you are so not! To be honest, I think I'd have to go home and check, and as PP said, arrive at 6am for maximum impact if they're there.

3.00am is the most disturbing time according to Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

That's when the KGB used to burst in unannounced.

oakleaffy · 28/12/2022 11:30

“ Squatting rights”?
That really is a stretch.
@Castleontheisland Hopefully your house will be unmolested, and no one will have been in.

A large Victorian house where we lived was let via an agent, and to neighbour’s dismay, about 12 people moved in with a series of grimy mattresses and assorted run down vans and dogs.
They were noisy and antisocial, and didn’t clear up their dog’s mess.

The owners ( Who were in Australia) were informed, and the letting agents, too

The original tenants were evicted, and the house sold. A family live there now.

Always CF’s about.

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/12/2022 11:30

AngelontopoftheTree · 28/12/2022 08:56

Prior corr??? Meant to be people voted 🥴

Show quote history

Auto carrot has been on the Baileys. 😜

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:32

RosesAndHellebores · 28/12/2022 11:26

@Ursuladevine where in my posts have I referred to house insurance. The article says if the burglar is a person to whom the owner has given keys. Burglary is a criminal offence; trespass is a civil offence.

I cannot imagine any of my former neighbours, who remain lifelong friends, ever having used my spare keys to burgle my property.

Yes but if an insurer won’t cover it
it means because the ground for the claim being dismissed is because that the neighbours entered and used the property with the permission of the owner.

whereas if it was a crime, then it would be covered!

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:33

If you give keys to someone
you are giving them permission to enter your property
in the eyes of your insurer
in the eyes of the law

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:33

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:33

If you give keys to someone
you are giving them permission to enter your property
in the eyes of your insurer
in the eyes of the law

Which is precisely why most sensible people give to people they know and trust

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:35

RosesAndHellebores · 28/12/2022 11:26

@Ursuladevine where in my posts have I referred to house insurance. The article says if the burglar is a person to whom the owner has given keys. Burglary is a criminal offence; trespass is a civil offence.

I cannot imagine any of my former neighbours, who remain lifelong friends, ever having used my spare keys to burgle my property.

Yes YOU gave your keys to lifelong friends that you trust. Sensible.

The Op have to people she barely knew

that was reckless

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/12/2022 11:35

lightcurtains · 28/12/2022 09:31

@TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree
Trespassing. People in your home without your permission. It's technically a break in as the key is being used for something else other than it's purpose.

Trespass is a vivil offence, not a criminal one - police wouldn't get involved.

Fanblinkingtastic · 28/12/2022 11:39

Send a taxi there perhaps? Ask taxi company to knock on and see if anyone answers

Cheekyf · 28/12/2022 11:39

I'm sure OP has the texts to prove, on at least this occasion, they were not permitted to stay in her home.

GreekGod · 28/12/2022 11:40

sorry, you lost me at the point you gave the key to your home to a person you neither regard as a close friend nor are they family

and yes, I would go home if I were you

CrunchyCarrot · 28/12/2022 11:41

Trouble is, if there are people there, they'll think the OP agreed to it, as the CF neighbours will have said 'oh yes, they're totally FINE with you staying!' So it'll be a rude shock to them as well! Lose-lose for your neighbours.

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/12/2022 11:49

oakleaffy · 28/12/2022 11:30

“ Squatting rights”?
That really is a stretch.
@Castleontheisland Hopefully your house will be unmolested, and no one will have been in.

A large Victorian house where we lived was let via an agent, and to neighbour’s dismay, about 12 people moved in with a series of grimy mattresses and assorted run down vans and dogs.
They were noisy and antisocial, and didn’t clear up their dog’s mess.

The owners ( Who were in Australia) were informed, and the letting agents, too

The original tenants were evicted, and the house sold. A family live there now.

Always CF’s about.

“ Squatting rights”?
That really is a stretch.

It crossed my mind, too. Highly unlikely but theoretically possible.

TrimTheTree · 28/12/2022 11:50

Oh holy fuck, yeh they’ve already stayed in your house and trying to get permission. That is grim beyond anything and would have me properly upset, home is my safe space. They are disgusting people to do that, change the locks, send them a bill for a deep clean of the house. If I was even just a school mum friend I would happily go and knock on the door for you and ask if you were in or see if the lights were on. I would be wondering if this was a legal or civil case matter.

CarlaH · 28/12/2022 11:51

First time I have ever replied on a thread without reading it as I am about to go out so somebody may have already said this but we have to have keys left with neighbours because we have an alarm and the police require two keyholders so that they can turn it off if we aren't there.

AutumnCrow · 28/12/2022 11:52

oakleaffy · 28/12/2022 10:39

Goodness knows why my text looks so huge?!

It's quite eye-catching though Grin

PureBlackVoid · 28/12/2022 11:52

Ursuladevine · 28/12/2022 11:33

Which is precisely why most sensible people give to people they know and trust

Show quote history

But OP didn’t give the keys to the neighbour’s relatives, and she has explicitly stated the neighbour’s relatives cannot use the property, which is what the thread is about.

NoInvitesEver · 28/12/2022 11:57

How about sending the following:
"Dear neighbour
So sorry to disturb you but we're really worried. 3 out of our 4 internal camera have alerted movement inside our home. I can't access the videos off the cloud until we're back as the wi-fi signal isn't good enough.
Please can you just check the outside of the house for signs of forced entry? Please DO NOT ENTER the property. I've spoken to police and they've suggested a quick outdoors check (if you're willing) but not to enter as it'll contaminate forensics.
Please let me know. I'm going to try to get to an area where I can view the videos asap."

Namechangehereandnow · 28/12/2022 11:57

Your timings don’t add up OP - you’re away for a few days over Christmas, you weren’t at home Boxing Day so have already started your few days away,
you’re posting today so presumably no imminent return planned, especially as you’ve arranged for family to go and check your home out …

When exactly are you going home? Something doesn’t ring true here … unless I’ve just played too many detective games over Christmas 🤔

NoInvitesEver · 28/12/2022 11:59

P.s if your hunch was wrong you can say it was insects or something fell down to set off camera