To just stop cooking

[FatherTedUncious]

I used to love cooking. I have hundreds of recipe books, love watching cooking programmes, love eating. I'm genuinely excited by well cooked food with good ingredients. However, I am just... not good at it.
I misread, miss vital steps, don't have the right ingredients so substitute and hope for the best. My success rate is about 20% edible to 80% awful. Today I wanted to cook waffles for the kids as I have a nice memory of doing this a few Christmases ago and it was one of my rare successes.
I just made the recipe and it was an absolute disaster. Waffle mix pouring out if the side, tried to turn it into pancakes which also tasted horrible and burnt but were also undercooked. I'm sure if I analyse every recipe that goes wrong I can identify what went wrong but I just don't have the time, money, energy to go through it.
We are skint and todays disaster cost me two loads of washing up, oil, eggs, butter, flour, sugar, vanilla extract. I could cry if I added it all up. I'm just not good at it.
I'm not really good at anything and I hopelessly cling to cooking as something I could half do alright. It made me feel wholesome and resourceful. But I'm just not that person.
I think I should stick to pasta sauces and stir fry, even though I occasionally cock those up too.

Can you take it more carefully? Treat following a recipe like a work of art and step by step, thoroughly? I have a tendency to glance at recipes and go oh yeah I know that, then miss vital steps and it turns out shit.

If I consciously read each step properly, twice, as I go, I don't have problems. It sounds like effort but the end result is so worth it. Nothing worse than ruining a nice meal through being slapdash!

@Sparklfairy I have a real problem with following instructions! In everything!

You say you misread, is that because you skim too quickly? Would following a verbal and visual recipe tutorial be better? One you can pause as you do each stage.

Substituting ingredients is not generally a good idea the ingredient is there for a reason and using something else or leaving it out will change the end product. You can adapt recipes to your particular taste of course but I would do that only after having done it the 'correct' way first. If you have the recipe you want to make do the prep regarding what ingredients are required beforehand, plan, plan, plan.

Simple food with few ingredients such as the waffles shouldn't be a disaster though, what did you do wrong? It's just batter?

would it help if you wrote the recipe out yourself?

I prepare everything before hand, so all ingredients chopped, measured, weighed out etc.

And I read everything through at least twice.

Are you dyslexic by any chance? My two dyslexic boys really struggled with sequencing and basically following a recipe is just that. Maybe try following a recipe on YouTube where you could stop and rewind if necessary? Start with something really easy?

I can't follow recipes and can't be arsed eith meal planning so I just improvise 99% of time. BUT I have good flavour profile and know my textures so only handful of meals ended up inedible.

Is it all recipes you have issue with or more complicated ones?
If you don't know properly flavour combinations you shouldn't be substituting. That will be one of the downfalls.
Also, butlened and undercooked, work with different strengt of flame if you have gas cooker. I know someone who just blasted everything on full and had this issue.

Second pp above about following video recipes.
Not from Jamie O though. He is properly distracting!

I think you can crack it, OP, you just need to take it slowly and methodically until you've built up your confidence, have the recipe and method down pat and only need to cursorily refer to it, know how long each stage and the cooking takes (everyone's oven/hobs, etc., are different and stuff may take more time or less time) and then you can adapt and change to suit as you feel more comfortable.

Agree with not Jamie Oliver, someone who explains simply and clearly - Delia Smith might be a good option.

@HowVeryBizarre no but I do think there's something wrong with me lol. For my job I have to write very complex medical reports and adapt documents regarding medication and physical health to make them easy to understand for non clinicians. I do this thoroughly and without error, I check every dose, every timing, every blood result. But I put the wrong date on the document every time. I forget my coat every day, I lose my keys three times a year. I can focus for hours but it takes me so much effort to read and follow a recipe!

@BronwenFrideswide i found tom kerridge, gordon ramsey and hairy bikers also good.

Jamie needs to stop acting like it's a circus show😂

Have you tried YouTube videos? Then you can just pause it and follow along.

Plus, we can’t all be great at everything. I’m a great cook but a bit of a hit and miss baker. Cooking generally is more forgiving of substitution and winging it than baking or desserts. That’s why pastry chefs are different to general chefs.

Are you ok with basic easy meals? Spaghetti bolognaise, cottage pie, basic roast, mac n cheese, tomato soup? I’d start with these, learn them and the techniques used so you don’t need to use a recipe then start expanding. I rarely use a recipe unless it’s really complicated and hardly ever produce inedible food as you just learn how to do the basics.

My cooking improved hugely when i started getting everything ready, prepped & organised before cooking. I saw the chef Monica Galetti on tv one day explaining that she does this at home, just as if she were at work, and it means there's no sudden panicked rummaging in the cupboards or veg etc to prep when you should be concentrating on the actual cooking. I'm starting to enjoy cooking now whereas before it was often just a slightly stressy thing i had to do. The kitchen's tidier too 😄

I have the same issue OP! I have a job that requires lots of attention to detail too - lots of writing and proofing and reading and get it right 99% of the time. But I can’t follow directions and can’t follow recipes - my brain just doesn’t get it. I love cooking and 50% of the time I’m good at it and 50% of the time it’s terrible!

My DH is so bad at reading instructions we call them 'destructions' in our house. He knows he tends to skip sentences unless he reads very slowly. Maybe get a second opinion to check?

Your difficulties are suggestive of neurodiversity, possibly ADHD and/or dyslexia.

The suggestion to weigh and measure and chop and prep everything first is also great - chefs call it ‘mise en place’ (everything in place) and you also see that’s how they demonstrate in cooking shows or videos.

@Overthebow yeah I can do all of that, this is primarily baking and more complex stuff. In my main meals it's generally stove top chuck everything in and it's usually good. I know my flavours and I come from a culture with strong flavours. This is more stuff like Yorkshire pudding, cakes, waffles, puddings etc

Baking and deserts are totally different game to cooking

You tube do videos on everything, perhaps your more of a watcher than a reader?

Well, that didn't take long.

I get how you feel though my success rate is probably a bit higher than 20%! But so many birthday cake attempts end up in my bin! You can buy ready mixed batter or even a big bag of powder mix that you just add liquid to. God knows what’s in it but that’s what my brother does for his waffles. Maybe just try to make life easier for yourself with cheats like that where possible. I do buy the vast majority of birthday cakes these days. It’s very demoralising though, sending hugs!

Oh loads of great cooks are shit at baking, honestly! But it really is just an attention to detail thing, which is hard if that’s not your natural style.

Ever looked in ADHD? You sound just like my husband x