To just stop cooking

[FatherTedUncious]

I used to love cooking. I have hundreds of recipe books, love watching cooking programmes, love eating. I'm genuinely excited by well cooked food with good ingredients. However, I am just... not good at it.
I misread, miss vital steps, don't have the right ingredients so substitute and hope for the best. My success rate is about 20% edible to 80% awful. Today I wanted to cook waffles for the kids as I have a nice memory of doing this a few Christmases ago and it was one of my rare successes.
I just made the recipe and it was an absolute disaster. Waffle mix pouring out if the side, tried to turn it into pancakes which also tasted horrible and burnt but were also undercooked. I'm sure if I analyse every recipe that goes wrong I can identify what went wrong but I just don't have the time, money, energy to go through it.
We are skint and todays disaster cost me two loads of washing up, oil, eggs, butter, flour, sugar, vanilla extract. I could cry if I added it all up. I'm just not good at it.
I'm not really good at anything and I hopelessly cling to cooking as something I could half do alright. It made me feel wholesome and resourceful. But I'm just not that person.
I think I should stick to pasta sauces and stir fry, even though I occasionally cock those up too.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it then. You can make decent meals for your DC and all those extras can be bought. You can’t be good at everything and life’s too short to worry about things like this. Stick to what you’re good at and enjoy your lovely home cooked meals!

This is more stuff like Yorkshire pudding, cakes, waffles, puddings etc

I find Yorkshire Puddings really easy, I don't even weigh the ingredients as I've done them so much I do it by eye and just know but as I say that's years of doing them.

Cakes and Puddings, do simple, basic ones and master them first but you do have to follow the recipe and instructions carefully and don't substitute anything as cakes and puddings, etc., are trickier, require more patience and attention and are more prone to disaster if they are not done exactly right which is why, as someone else said, Pastry/Dessert Chefs are a different discipline.

YANBU. There's nothing wrong with very simple stuff to eat. Pasta with ready done sauce, oven ready meals etc. If you really ruin 80% of what you cook it will save you a fortune.

If you do want to cook I'd recommend Jamie Oliver's ministry of food, very simple, no ingredients that you wouldn't already have in, very few stages.

Delia is your friend here.She has a lovely way of making everything seem simple (even though it isnt!) She sort of talks you through it) Also I always need to feel relaxed if I bake or it doesnt come out well) Maybe try at a less hectic time and have a few "favourites".This is why Just Eat /Deliveroo do so well!

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Over the years I've found many recipe books and programs are full of nonsense. Caramelised onions take 20 mins, err no they don't they take closer to an hour to do properly. 175g mix for an 8 inch Victoria sponge will give you a pancake not a light well risen sponge. Sometimes it's trial and error, I tend to look at multiple recipes for the same thing and see how they differ.

Chose something you would really like to master, make sure you shop for all the ingredients so you always have them to hand and keep practicing. If your waffle batter was too runny then add less fluid next time.

America's test kitchen does seem quite reliable and they have videos on line, although there is the cup to grams conversion to deal with.

Could you watch youtube videos and then follow steps on screen?

I misread, miss vital steps, don't have the right ingredients so substitute and hope for the best.

YABU. You could be good at it, you are choosing not to be. I have no time for this learned helplessness and no desire to do anything at all to change it.

It’s really simple: buy the right ingredients and read the instructions. There is no “can’t” about it.

@NoelleSnowman I don't think you understand how hard concentration is for some people. I burn multiple pieces of toast every morning as I physically cannot stand there and wait for it to toast. I go off and start making a packed lunch or dressing a child. That's not ADHD that's someone who has too damn much to do in the morning!
In the same way I can't understand how people can't play pretend with their children for hours and make complex stories and fantasy worlds, some people will never understand how difficult it is for some of us to concentrate on reading step by step instructions. Or being on time. Or dressing with the weather. Or sorting out their direct debits.
Our brains all work differently! I seem to lack the skills in what is actually important but have plenty of irrelevant, useless skills!

You can have every excuse under the sun, but the fact of the matter is you absolutely can do these things, you’re just choosing not to because it’s not important to you.

You can wait for toast. You can also go off and do other things and remember to come back. You’re choosing not to.

We all have too much to do.

I was also going to suggest ADD. The book ‘Scattered Minds’ by Gabor Mate describes this very well.

Just based on the OP?
Start with easy stuff and make sure you have read it through, then make a shopping list and get all the ingredients.
Step by step. Don't start with Escoffier, start with something like the Mary Berry Learn to cook book.

This sounds like ADHD to me. I know a couple of people like this. You say you burn toast because you have so much to do in the morning. Most people have too much to do in the morning but have a routine in place. The packed lunch might have been made the night before. The child would be dressed first. Then you start making the toast. Making toast and wandering off to complete other tasks really does sound like ADHD. I have a relative with diagnosed ADHD and she does this sort of thing all the time. It sounds like its affecting every aspect of your life, it isn't just the "busy morning" which is the problem.

To help with the cooking situation you should buy the right ingredients and not substitute!!! Print off a copy of the recipe so you can write on it. Collect and measure all ingredients first. Tick off each one when you have done it.

Read the recipe through so you know roughly what you need to do and which pieces of equipment you need.

Then cover all steps in the recipe with a piece of paper. Reveal only the first step. Do it. Tick it off. Then uncover the next and so on and so forth.

I have adhd and follow picture recipe and instructions but can’t make anything complex.

I’m similar and stick to recipes with 5 ingredients.

My dd has ADHD. I know I don't have ADHD.

I think part of the problem is that I don't plan recipes. This morning my son wanted waffles so I just started making them but then I discovered I didn't have any flour after separating the eggs so I used almond flour. Then I forgot the milk. Then I used my waffle iron which I'm pretty sure isn't stick proof anymore. Then I added the milk and some more almond flour to try to make pancakes but the consistency was wrong and it all just stuck even though I make pancakes every Sunday and they're usually delicious. Then the whole lot wouldn't cook but burnt on the bottom so I had to chuck it all.
Isn't this how everyone cooks? Haha
But I do like things which are more like suggestions. Things like Potato dauphinois with anchovies and dill which is delicious. It's very hard to get it wrong as potatoes and cream will always be delicious. Whilst baking is more of a science with way more scope to go wrong!

If you don't have ADHD then you need to plan better. It sounds like chaos and it doesn't need to be.
Why start making waffles if you haven't checked you have the ingredients first? There must be a reason why you don't do this.

I know MANY people without ADHD who can't bake even with recipes. It's a science

Have you been tested for ADHD?

Hell, OP has said she DOESN'T have ADHD, how hard is it to read her posts?

Anyway @FatherTedUncious (LOVE the name, that episode was the funniest ever!) I reckon you can't read the recipes properly because like me, you don't REALLY want to do it, & feel you deserve a full time chef instead.

He hasn't appeared this Christmas, but I live in hope.
I hate cooking. I do it, obvs, but if there's a cheat (like ready made sauce) I'll use it. Life's too damn short.

You need to be more mindful and less rushed. Son asks for waffles - check you have ingredients before beginning.

Toast - do you use a grill? Use a toaster set so it won't burn. If you multitask while it's toasting, do something that's near the toaster so you don't forget it.

Baking is about observation and experience, only practice will give you confidence. Do the same recipes over and over and get it better each time. Before too long you'll know the consistency it needs to be, how long it should cook etc. And you'll keep tweaking and getting better, there's always something to learn. But you have to care enough, tbh. Make time for it and observe what's going on.

I have adhd, so rarely cook with a recipe. Make it up from first principles, keeping it simple. Imagine it in my head, then it makes sense.

If I have to follow a recipe, I list the ingredients and then one or two key points.

Most recipes are hard to follow, Meera Sodha's recipes are a exception.

Your problem is you are trying to wing it. When you read the recipe get all the ingredients out of the cupboard so you can confirm you have them all and get your equipment out too. Then weigh it all before combining, then you will know you have enough so you don't have to think of too many things at once.
If you don't have the ingredients don't make it, pick something else.
Don't try and do it with kids in the room either if they are making lots of noise / chatting etc as it's more chance of being distracted and missing a step. They need to give mum 10 minutes alone to get this done and you will tell them when you are finished.

Hell, OP has said she DOESN'T have ADHD, how hard is it to read her posts?

She says she doesn't, but is behaving in a way which displays classic ADHD behaviours. I think someone asked if she had been tested because she's so adamant she doesn't have it, perhaps she has been tested and told she doesn't have it.

If your son is old enough to want waffles then he is old enough to help. Get him to help. Even if he can't read then you read the recipe to him and he helps you check each item that you have it before you cook.