Suggested divorce settlement by my husband ? fair or no ?

[anymathsheadsonhere]

I have my three teens who live with me full time. We live in the family home. My husband left three years ago for affair partner. He pays e600 per month towards all of their expenses. Their expenses far exceed e1200 per month, so I supplement. He suggested earlier that he receives 50% equity of house in divorce and that he will not apply for any part of my pension( worthe13k to him) and a share of a shared property owned equally with my siblings (worth e50k to him) I earn e65k per year. He is self employed and I suspect that he earns similar but its mostly cash in hand. He hasn't been honest about his income. He has had four holidays since June, yet refuses to pay for any medical or education fees as agreed in separation. The entirety of my salary goes on my children's and my needs. House is worth e350k and there are five years left on mortgage. It is equally owned. Is this a fair spilt? I have invested e15k in the house since we moved in here.

So he wants 50% of the marital home and in exchange for that he won't go after your pension or a home you share with your siblings?

What does your solicitor say? If you don't have one you need one.

Personally I'd make sure he gets as little as possible considering he's at fault for the divorce.

Have you exchanged form e’s with his income and assets? It doesn’t sound fair to me, you’re housing the kids and should get more than 50% of the house.

My solicitor believes that because he does not share care of our children whatsoever, and that he contributes e 50 per child per week and has refused to honour his commitment to share costs for education, medical, orthodontic bills etc that I should insist on 75% of equity. He will never agree to this and says he cannot afford a solicitor . He is awkward and difficult and life has been so bloody stressful and awful, I thought it may be a good deal. Plus my solicitor is very expensive.

She thinks I should go for 75% equity as I am rearing the kids single handedly.

Your solicitor surely is not charging you the £75k that you stand to lose by caving to this man?

He's not your husband anymore. Stop letting him tell you what to do or thinking he is nice. Listen to your solicitor.

I very much think you should follow the advice of your solicitor.

He stands to gain e63k if he goes after my pension and property and if his solicitor is good enough, spousal maintenance. She will charge me e20k

Are you in the UK?

Did you post the other week and he’s still paying towards the mortgage so it’s actually much more than the child support amount?

I think your solicitor is correct in suggesting 75% to you.
"He will never agree to this and says he cannot afford a solicitor". Does he realize that the divorce can go ahead without his consent or solicitor? Don't let him just slide out of his responsibilities, keep account of every penny he should have paid, and use that leverage to reduce his equity even further. You have a lot of leverage over him, particularly if he hasn't been honest about money... HMRC tend to be quite annoyed with people like that, if you know what I mean.

I am in Ireland, I did not post last week and we divide cost of mortgage in two. His total contribution to our children's lives is e600 per month.

then do what she says? That’s why you instructed her - to get you a fair deal. He doesn’t have to ‘ agree’ to your share of the house, the the court will just award it, unlike child maintenance, which can be hard to enforce. If you are worried that he will come back with other claims, discuss strategy with her. But if he doesn’t cover half your kids expenses, and doesn’t do any practical care of them, then why should he get half of the house? Obviously he shouldn’t.

Is it a price YOU find reasonable. I often think of things in terms of my time and hassle as well as cost. If asking for 75% means spending a year and arguing in court I might just go with the 50:50 split assuming I could afford to…

Yeah, a lot of women think like that in divorce and that’s why they get shafted.

I can’t see this involves much arguing in court. It’s not child custody, it’s a house. The court will just make a decision.

£600 a month sounds like a lot to me

you say your children's expenses come to over £1200 a month? I cant imagine 3 teenagers costing that!

How old are they? They will presumably be independent and earning soon, anyway?

You need proper legal advice, obviously

What does e mean?!?

I have included all children's expenses in that sum.. housing bills, energy bills, food, transport, clothes, fees, medical, dental and orthodontic fees. Every cent it takes to raise them, outside of mortgage. If I only had to contribute e600 per month to my children's expenses, I would have a very comfortable life !

e means Euros I assume.

e means euro. They have not begun third level education yet.

Why on earth would he get spousal maintenance

listen to your solicitor, not randomers on the internet!

E = euro...

Spousal maintenance because he does not declare his earnings and because I am salaried , he could claim that according to my solicitor/

Is his share of the mortgage included in this 600 or not?

I would avoid going to court at all costs. You could spend at least 20k on costs and tun the risk of spending more that you stand to gain. I think 75 k is overly generous to you and you run the risk of spending alot of money to go to court and be awarded less