Christmas spending

[Justnosing]

Aibu to wonder how people decide on amounts to spend on each other for Xmas?

I know it obviously depends on income, and probably how much Christmas means to you, but from what I see on here people spend around £50-£100 on their children, and less on their partners. Whereas where I live it is quite the norm to spend £500-£800 on kids and around £500ish on partners (I’m talking ordinary families, not wealthy)

What happens if you meet someone who thinks £50 is a perfectly fine amount to spend on you but you’re used to receiving £1000 worth of gifts from your significant other?

is it an age thing? Area thing? Have you ever been in this situation where you’ve over gave? Or someone’s over gave to you?

my DP and I never used to set an amount when we first met 12 years ago, used to spend around 450-500 on each other but that amount seems to have crept up over the years. Where does it end? I think I’d like to set one for next year!

this is a light hearted general thread, not for mud slinging

I think it depends on the couple really. Myself and boyfriend have a limit of £25 at Christmas but my friend and her boyfriend spend around £300 per person. I'm not sure I could even spend £300 on things I really want at the moment so I guess that comes into play too

Having very similar approaches to finances is to me absolutely vital to having a successful relationship so I doubt I would ever be with someone who spent more than I felt comfortable with and vice versa.

I could not be with a partner who splashed the cash for the sake of it nor someone who was really tight. DH and I have never had a discussion we just know we would be both thoughtful about what the other wanted or needed but also can’t imagine either of us taking offence if one year one had a big gift and the other a very small one. It’s just not how either of us are made.

"DH, I think we should prioritise our spending on things other than christmas gifts this year. Maybe we should agree on a spending limit."

As in I couldn't think of £300 worth of things I want

A light hearted general thread? For what? People telling you that people have different budgets depending on their wealth and financial situations? Do you really need to be told this?

You have a conversation about it?

I'd hate dp to spend a lot on me, because if a purchase is a big one I want to be sure it is exactly right.

We spend loads on the dc though. Def more than the £50-100 quoted on mn.

Can I ask what you buy for £25? ☺️ I’d like to think I could get something nice for that amount but struggling to think of ideas

This is interesting.
similar to me and dp really, we’ve never discussed it but intuitively spend around the same (though as I’ve said it creeps up ever year).

I feel this year has taken the piss with spending though.

discussion. Have another wine, dear.

I think people who have the money to spend just use it in different ways. Some may spend lavishly on Christmas gifts, some may buy a small gift but go on lots of holidays or decorate frequently or have designer clothes or regular expensive PT sessions or beauty treatments. Some will do a more minimal Christmas but go nuts on birthdays. We budget about 60% of one month’s salary for Christmas (gifts, going out etc). It’s less than we spend on some things over the year (mortgage, childcare, groceries & some years holidays) but it is one of our biggest outgoings. By contrast we don’t really buy many birthday gifts. We get each other one item and some years kids just have a party.

What happens if you meet someone who thinks £50 is a perfectly fine amount to spend on you but you’re used to receiving £1000 worth of gifts from your significant other

You spend £50 on each other and buy the other £950 of stuff as and when you want it, see it at a good price have the money etc.

Far easier, less stress and potential waste. I'd hate to have to think of £950 off gifts to buy or put on a wishlist.

I'd much rather just receive a token bottle of gin and chocolates, then be free to buy my own things when I wanted them.

We don’t set amounts but we usually tell each other what we want and spend around £150ish, I’m not sure how we ever mutually came up with that but it seems to be about that. This year I overspent on the kids so we spent a bit less.

I spent WAY too much, WAAAAAY too much but when you set the bar it is very hard to change it I think.

Where do you live?
Dh and I spend less than £50 on each other.
We spend between £100 and £300 on the kids.
I don't know anyone who spends £800 on their children for Christmas.

Me and DP don't buy Christmas presents for each other anymore, we go away for a weekend in January instead. We agreed on this after two years together and I love it, it's nice to have something to look forward to after Christmas.

The first Christmas we were together he spent a lot more on me than I did on him, and I felt guilty. Especially as I didn't like some of the gifts. Sounds very ungrateful but I am picky a control freak and a bit of a miminalist.

I'd honestly be happy not to get another Christmas present ever again. I don't mind ones that I can eat or drink, or use, like toiletries. I've already put some presents I got yesterday in a bag for the charity shop, and don't feel too guilty as they are just clutter to me.

I spend approximately £150 on adult children and token gift for their partners .
I don’t really think about the cost of other presents…am too distracted by the fact I have felt ill and worked over Christmas 🤦‍♀️

Honestly I just prefer to have a couple of small things as if there is stuff I want I would just buy it myself at some point in the year. This year I asked my DH for some socks and a couple of books I’d wanted, very happy with that rather than random clutter.

Pre children we used to get each other some stocking fillers and then use Xmas as an excuse to buy something joint we’d wanted for ages - like a new radio or something for the house.

I’llbe honest though and say my DH isn’t great at choosing gifts, if he was really creative and understood my taste exactly then I’d probably be happier for him to spend more 😂

£30 or a bit over on relatives and close family.
Around £200 on the kids. Would never dream of £800 spending. No way.

Op I asked my partner for the Alan Titchmarsh Gardener's Almanac which is something I would have liked and probably would not buy for myself.

I bought him a sweatshirt top and a pair of slippers. He needs the slippers !

We are more than happy with these things. If we want something that costs a lot of money we will buy it and not expect the other to give it as a present because anything of an expensive value needs buying carefully I suppose.

To me Christmas is about people and not gifts even though it's nice to receive something thoughtful

£100 is the golden number . Same
for birthdays . That goes for partner / children / my parents . Grand children get £50

Blimey. Maybe £150 on kids. Less on partner. And we make Mumsnet salaries.

What's with all this insane spending?

I have a budget for all of Christmas including food and divide accordingly.

Myself and partner do around £200 for each other (he usually actually spends more but we say £200 every year 🙃)

Then kids; the older too together we have probably spent £1000.

Then one toddler around £300.

We aren't incredibly wealthy. But we are comfortable.

Sorry forgot to add;

We have two older ex from previous and toddler is ours.

My partner thinks it's crazy when I go mad at Christmas... but he doesn't stop me

We don't agree an amount but we have a very good idea of what we'd like. This year, for example, we both wanted a pair of trainers so we sent each other a few options and the person gifting picked their favourite. We don't tend to be materialistic so we never tend to want anything over, say, £150. If we do, we'd buy it when we spot a bargain through the year.

Occasionally one of us will buy the other a 'big' present but the other then doesn't need to spend a similar amount.